Il!ii|li!fl!ii|||i|lil||i:ill 


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1!  n 


SANE  SEX  LIFE  AND 
SANE    SEX    LIVING 


SOME  THINGS  THAT  ALL  SANE  PEOPLE  OLGH  F  TO 
KNOW  ABOUT  SEX  NATURE  AND  SEX  FUNCTION- 
LNG;  ITS  PLACE  IN  THE  ECONOMY  OF  LIFE,  ITS 
PROPER    TRAINING    AND    RIGHTEOUS    EXERCISE 


H.    W.    LONG,    M.D 


AUTHORIZED  EDITION 


i 


EUGENICS  PUBLISHING  CO.,  INC. 

NEW  YORK 


I 


COPYKIGHT,  1919,  1922,  BY 
EUGEKICS   PXTBLISHING   COMPANY,   InC. 


All  ritrhs  reserved,  includinff  that  of  translation  into  foreiffn 

lanjiTiaces,   including   the   Scandinavian.    The   reproduction 

of    any    or    all    parts    of    this    book   strictly   prohibited 

except   by   written   permission   of   the   publisher. 


COPYHIOHT  IN  GhEAT  BRITAIN 


MAT>r   IV    TTTF   TTXITED  STATES  OF   AMFRTCA 


NOTE  TO  THE  READER 

IN  ORDER  TO  GAIN  A  CORRECT  IMPRESSION  OF  THE 
BOOK,  IT  IS  ESSENTIAL  THAT  IT  BE  READ  FROM  THE 
BEGINNING  TO  THE  END  WITHOUT  ANY  SKIPPING  WHAT- 
SOEVER. ONCE  READ,  IT  CAN  BE  REREAD,  HERE  AND 
THERE,  AS  THE  READER  MAY  DESIRE.  BUT  FOR  A  FIRST 
READING,  IT  IS  THE  EARNEST  WISH  OF  THE  AUTHOR 
THAT  EVERY  WORD  BE  READ^  FOR  IN  NO  OTHER  WAY 
CAN  THE  PURPOSE  OF  THE  BOOK  BE  REALIZED. 


INTRODUCTION 

AS  we  have  moved  down  the  ages  now  and  then, 
from  the  religious  teacher,  the  statesman,  the 
inventor,  the  social  worker,  or  from  the  doctor,  sur- 
geon, or  sexologist,  there  has  been  a  "vox  clamantis 
in  deserto."  Usually  these  voices  have  fallen  on  un- 
heeding ears ;  but  again  and  again  some  delver  in 
books,  some  student  of  men,  some  inspired,  self-effac- 
ing, or  altruistic  one  has  taken  up  the  cry;  and  at 
last  unthinking,  unheeding,  superficial,  self-satisfied 
humanity  has  turned  to  listen. 

Aristotle  by  the  sure  inductive  method  learned 
and  taught  much,  concerning  the  sex  relations  of  men 
and  women,  that  it  would  profit  us  today  to  heed. 
Balzac,  Luther,  Michelet,  Spencer,  and  later,  at  our 
very  doors,  Krafft-Ebbing,  Forel,  Bloch,  Ellis, 
Freud,  Hall,  and  scores  of  others  have  added  their 
voices.  All  these  have  seen  whither  we  were  drifting, 
and  have  made  vigorous  protests  according  to  their 
lights.  Many  of  these  protests  should  have  been 
heard,  but  were  not,  and  only  now  are  just  beginning 
to  be  heeded.  Such  pioneers  in  the  field  of  proper, 
healthful,  ethical,  religious,  sane  daily  sex  living, 
have  been  Sturgis  and  Malchow,  who  talked  earnest- 
ly to  an  unheeding  profession  of  these  things,  and 
now,  I  have  the  honor  to  write  an  introductory  word 
to  a  book  in  this  field,  that  is  sane,  wise,  practical, 
entirely  truthful  and  unspeakably  necessary. 

7 


8  Introduction 

I  can  endorse  the  teachings  in  Dr.  Long's  book 
more  fully  because  I  have,  for  nearly  a  quarter  of 
a  century,  been  holding  similar  views,  and  dispens- 
ing similar,  though  perhaps  less  expHcit,  informa- 
tion. I  know  from  long  observation  that  the  teach- 
ing is  wholesome  and  necessary,  and  that  the  results 
are  universally  uplifting.  Such  teachings  improve 
health,  prolong  life,  and  promote  virtue,  adding  to 
the  happiness  and  lessening  the  burdens  of  men,  on 
die  one  hand;  on  the  other,  reducing  their  crimes 
and  vices.  A  book  like  this  would  have  proved  in- 
valuable to  me  on  my  entrance  to  the  married  state; 
but  had  I  had  it,  I  might  not  have  been  forced  to  ac- 
quire the  knowledge  which  enables  me  now  to  state 
with  all  solemnity,  that  I  personally  know  hundreds 
of  couples  whose  lives  were  wrecked  for  lack  of  such 
knowledge,  and  that  I  more  intimately  know  hun- 
dreds of  others  to  whom  verbal  teaching  along  the 
lines  he  has  laid  down,  has  brought  happiness,  health 
and  goodness. 

Dr.  Long  advances  no  theories ;  neither  do  L  He 
has  found  by  studying  himself  and  other  people,  a 
sane  and  salutary  way  of  sex  living,  and  fearlessly 
has  prescribed  this  to  a  limited  circle  for  a  long  time. 
I  congratulate  him  for  his  perspicacity,  temerity, 
and  wisdom.  He  offers  no  apology,  and  there  is  no 
occasion  for  any.  He  says,  "All  has  been  set  down 
in  love,  by  a  lover,  for  the  sake  of  lovers  yet  to  be, 
in  the  hope  of  helping  them  on  toward  a  divine 
consummation."  That  is,  he  has  developed  these 
ideas  at  home,   and   then   spread  them  abroad,   or  he 


Introduction  9 

has  found  them  abroad  and  brought  them  home;  and 
they  worked. 

I  also  speak  somewhat  ex  experientia  and  have 
some  intimate  personal  knowledge  of  many  of  these 
things.  Therefore,  I  advocate  his  doctrine,  the  more 
readily,  and  maintain  that  humanity  needs  these  ideas 
as  much  today  as  when  M.  Jules  Lemaitre  wrote  his 
late  introduction  to  Michelet's  U Amour.  He  said: 
"II  ne  parait  pas,  apres  quarante  ans  passes,  que 
les  choses  aiUcnt  mieux,  ni  que  le  livre  de  Michelet  ait 
rien  perdu  de  son  a-propos."  Twenty  years  more 
have  elapsed  and  things  have  not  yet  become  much 
better.  Frank  sex  talks  like  Dr.  Long's  teaching 
are  as  a-propos  today  as  was  Michelet's  book  when 
it  was  written,  or  when,  after  forty  years  had  passed 
M.  Lemaitre  wrote  his  introduction. 

Idealism  is  right,  and  we  all  approve  it;  so  much 
so,  that  many  of  us  cannot  see  that  ultra-idealism, 
extremism  in  right,  (it  is  foolish  to  attempt  to  attain 
anything  better  than  the  best)  may  be  wrong.  Un- 
doubtedly, entire  devotion  to  the  material  and  phys- 
ical is  also  wrong;  but  we  never  must  lose  sight  of 
the  palpable  fact  that,  unless  we  have  a  proper, 
stable,  natural,  well-regulated  physical  or  material 
foundation,  we  must  fall  short  of  all  ideals.  Proper 
physical  adjustments  enable  the  realization  of  real- 
izable ideals.  Unrealizable  ideals  are  chimeras  pur- 
sued into  futurity,  while  a  world  that  should  be 
human  and  happy  waits  in  vice  and  misery.  I  gather 
that  Dr.  Long  believes  that  reducing  this  vice  and 
misery,  and  increasing  human  happiness  and  improv- 


10  Introduction 

ing   health    are    suitable   works    with   which    to   com- 
panion a  faith  in  the  Arbiter  of  our  destinies. 

If  thus  he  develops  his  idea  of  the  integrity  of 
the  universe,  I  agree  with  him  fully.  His  book,  since 
it  delineates  the  numerous  details  of  a  normal  sex 
life,  can  be  sold,  thanks  to  our  prudish  public,  only 
to  the  profession.  I  believe  it  should  go  to  the  larger 
public  as  it  has  gone  formerly  to  his  smaller  com- 
munity. 

In  spite  of  imperfect  ideals  the  Orient  has  en- 
dured, while  we  of  the  Occident  are  fast  becoming 
decadent.  We,  by  learning  something  of  the  art  of 
love,  and  of  the  natural  life  of  married  people,  from 
the  Hindoos,  may  perpetuate  our  civilization.  They, 
by  adopting  the  best  of  our  transcendentalism,  may 
reach  higher  development  than  we  yet  have  attained. 

The  time  has  come  for  a  book  like  this  to  com- 
mand the  attention  of  medical  men,  since  now  an 
awakened  public  demands  from  them,  as  the  con- 
servers  of  life  and  the  directors  of  physiological  liv- 
ing, explicit  directions  in  everything  pertaining  to 
the  physician's  calling,  not  omitting  the  intimate, 
intricate,  long  taboo  and  disdained  details  of  sex  life 
and  procreation. 

W.  F.  RoBiE,  M.  D. 


CONTENTS 

Chapter 

Introduction  hy  W.  F.  Rohie 7 

Foreword  13 

I.     An  Explanatory  Introduction 25 

II.     The  Argument  and  the  Information 31 

III.     The  Correct  Mental  Attitude  36 

VI.     The  Sex  Organs  40 

V.     The  Function  of  the  Sex  Organs  44 

VI.     The  Act  of  Coitus  68 

VII.     The  First  Union  89 

VIII.     The  Art  of  Love 104 

IX.     Coitus  Reservatus  128 

X.     Cleanliness   140 

XI.     Pregnancy  144 

XII.     Conclusion   150 


11 


FOREWORD 

To  Members  of  the  Medical  Profession  into  Whose 
Hands  This  Book  May  Come : 

The  following  pages  are  more  in  the  nature  of 
a  manuscript,  or  heart-to-heart  talk  between  those 
who  have  mutual  confidence  in  each  other,  than  of 
a  technical,  or  strictly  scientific  treatise  of  the  sub- 
ject in  hand ;  and  I  cannot  do  better,  for  all  parties 
concerned,  than  to  explain,  just  here  in  the  begin- 
ning, how  this  came  about,  and  why  I  have  concluded 
to  leave  the  copy  practically  as  it  was  originally 
written. 

In  common  with  nearly  all  members  of  our  pro- 
fession who  are  engaged  in  the  general  practice  of 
medicine,  I  have  had  numbers  of  married  men  and 
women,  husbands  and  wives,  patients  and  otherwise, 
who  have  come  to  me  for  counsel  and  advice  regard- 
ing matters  which  pertain  to  their  sex-life,  as  that 
problem  presented  itself  to  them  personally.  As 
we  all  know,  many  of  the  most  serious  and  compli- 
cated cases  we  have  to  deal  with  have  their  origins 
in  these  delicate  relations  which  so  often  exist  among 
wedded  people,  of  all  classes  and  varieties, 

13 


14  Foreword 

For  a  number  of  years  I  did  what  I  could  for 
these  patrons  of  mine,  by  way  of  confidential  talks 
and  the  like,  my  experience  in  this  regard  probably 
being  about  on  a  par  with  that  of  my  medical  breth- 
ren who  are  engaged  in  the  same  kind  of  work.  It 
is  needless  to  say  that  I  found,  as  you  have  doubt- 
less found  under  the  same  conditions,  many  obstacles 
to  prevent  satisfactory  results,  by  this  method  of 
procedure.  I\Iy  patients  were  often  so  reticent,  or 
timid  and  shame-faced,  that  it  was  frequently  diffi- 
cult to  get  at  the  real  facts  in  their  cases,  and,  as 
we  all  know,  many  of  these  would,  for  these  and 
other  reasons,  conceal  more  than  they  revealed, 
thereby  keeping  out  of  evidence  the  most  vital  and 
significant  items  in  their  individual  cases.  All  these 
things,  of  course,  tended  to  make  bad  matters  worse, 
or  resulted  in  nothing  that  was  really  worth  while. 

After  some  years  of  this  sort  of  experience,  and 
meditating  much  on  the  situation,  I  came  to  the  con- 
clusion that  a  very  large  percentage  of  all  this 
trouble  which  I  and  my  patrons  had  to  go  up  against, 
was  almost  entirely  the  result  of  ignorance  on  the 
part  of  those  who  came  to  consult  me;  and  because 
knowledge  is  always  the  antidote  for  not  knowing, 
I  came  to  the  conclusion  that,  if  it  were  possible 
to  "put  these  people  wise"  where  they  were  now 
so  uninformed,  I  might  at  once  save  them  from  a 
deal  of  harm  and  myself  from  much  trouble  and 
annoyance. 

Further  than  this,  I  remembered  once  hearing 
a    wi.se    man    say    that    often    "what    cannot    be    said 


Foreword  15 

may  be  sung";  and  I  realized  that  it  is  equally  true 
that  much  which  would  be  awkward,  or  embarrass- 
ing, if  said  to  a  person,  face  to  face,  might  be  got 
to  them  in  writing  with  impunity.  This  I  found  to 
be  especially  true  of  my  women  patients,  some  of 
whom  might  become  suspicious  of  a  wrong  intent 
from  the  things  said  in  a  private  conversation,  when 
they  would  have  no  such  fears  or  doubts  if  they  read 
the  same  words  from  a  printed  page.  It  was  these 
considerations  which  first  suggested  to  me  the 
writing  of  the  following  pages. 

Still  other  reasons  why  I  did  as  I  did  were  as 
follows:  You  see,  at  once,  if  you  stop  to  think  about 
it,  that  the  writing  out  of  the  knowledge  I  proposed 
to  impart  was  really  a  matter  of  necessity  for  me, 
because  of  the  saving  of  time  which  would  thereby 
be  secured.  To  get  any  results  that  would  be  worth 
while  in  these  matters,  I  would  be  required  to  tell 
about  ever  so  many  things  concerning  which  they 
were  totally  ignorant ;  and  to  tell  about  ever  so  many 
things,  by  word  of  mouth,  to  each  individual  patient, 
takes  time — ever  so  much  time,  if  the  work  is  well 
done,  and  it  had  better  not  be  done  at  all  if  it  is  not 
well  done.  So  I  really  was  forced  to  write  out  what 
I  wanted  to  teach  these  patients  of  mine. 

And  let  me  say  further  that  I  was  compelled  to 
write  these  things  out  for  my  i>eople  as  I  have  written 
them,  because,  in  all  the  range  of  literature  on  this 
vital  subject,  I  knew  of  nothing  which  would  tell 
them  just  what  it  seemed  to  me  they  ought  to  be 
told,  and  what  they  ought  to  know. 


16  Forezvord 

And  so  it  was  that  I  wrote  the  manuscript  which 
is  now  printed  in  the  following  pages.  I  did  not 
write  it  at  first  just  as  it  now  stands,  because  experi- 
ence showed  me,  from  time  to  time,  where  my  first 
efforts  could  be  modified  and  improved.  So  what  is 
here  presented  is  the  result  of  many  practical  dem- 
onstrations of  the  real  working  value  of  what  the 
manuscript  contains. 

My  method  of  using  the  copy  has  been  something 
as  follows:  As  I  have  already  suggested,  what  I 
have  written  has  been  prepared  for  the  sole  and 
express  purpose  of  helping  husbands  and  wives  to 
live  sane  and  wholesome  sex-lives — to  give  them  the 
requisite  knowledge  for  so  doing;  knowledge  of  them- 
selves and  of  each  other  as  sexual  beings;  the  cor- 
rect ideas  regarding  such  right  manner  of  living; 
to  disabuse  their  minds  of  wrong  sex-teaching,  or 
no  teaching  at  all,  of  ignorance,  or  prudery,  or  care- 
lessness, or  lust — in  a  word,  to  get  to  them  the  things 
that  all  sane  married  people  ought  to  know,  and  to 
help  them  to  practice  these  things,  to  the  best  of  their 
several  abilities. 

(Perhaps  I  ought  to  say  that  there  is  not  a  line 
of  whai  I  have  written  that  deals  with  the  subject 
of  venereal  diseases,  any  of  them.  This  field  is 
already  so  well  covered  by  a  literature  especially 
devoted  to  this  subject  that  it  needs  no  word  of  mine 
to  make  it  as  satisfactory  as  possible,  as  far  as  dis- 
coveries regarding  the  same  have  progressed.  My 
attempt  is  toward  making  marriage  more  of  a  success 


Foreword  17 

than  it  now  is,  under  existing  conditions ;  and  we 
all  know  that  there  is  a  limitless  field  for  exploration 
and  exploitation  right  there.) 

Speaking  somewhat  generally,  I  have  found  what 
I  have  written  to  be  of  special  value  to  two  classes 
of  my  patrons :  First,  to  the  "newly-weds" ;  and, 
second,  to  those  who  have  been  married  for  a  longer 
or  shorter  period,  and  who  "have  not  got  on  well 
together."    A  word  or  two  regarding  each  of  these: 

It  is  a  wise  old  saying  that  "an  ounce  of  pre- 
vention is  worth  a  pound  of  cure,"  and  in  no  other 
experience  of  life  is  this  so  true  as  in  the  ills  to 
which  married  people  are  peculiarly  subject.  Many 
a  newly  wedded  couple  have  wrecked  the  possibili- 
ties of  happiness  of  a  life  time  on  their  "honey-moon 
trip" ;  and  it  is  a  matter  of  common  knowledge  to 
the  members  of  our  profession  that  the  great  ma- 
jority of  brides  are  practically  raped  on  their  en- 
trance into  the  married  relation.  Further  than  this, 
we  all  know  that  these  things  are  as  they  are  chiefly 
because  of  the  ignorance  of  the  parties  concerned, 
rather  than  because  they  deliberately  meant  to  do 
wrong.  They  were  left  to  travel,  alone  and  un- 
guided,  over  what  was  to  them  an  unknown  way, 
one  that  was  beset  with  pitfalls  and  precipices,  and 
where  dangers  lurked  in  every  forward  step  they 
took.  It  is  to  these  that  I  have  found  what  I  have 
written  to  be  a  great  help  at  the  time  of  their  ut- 
most need;  and  the  thanks  I  have  received  from  such 
parties  have  been  beyond  the  power  of  words  to  ex- 
press. 


18  Foreword 

As  to  just  when  it  is  best  to  put  this  information 
into  the  hands  of  young  married  people,  my  experi- 
ence has  varied  with  the  personaHty  of  the  parties 
concerned.  In  some  cases  I  have  put  the  copy  into 
their  hands  some  time  before  their  marriage;  in 
others,  not  till  some  time  thereafter ;  but,  as  a  rule, 
I  have  got  the  best  results  by  putting  the  manu- 
script into  their  hands  just  at  the  time  of  their  mar- 
riage, and  in  most  of  these  cases  the  greatest  suc- 
cess has  come  from  their  reading  it  together  during 
their  honeymoon.  However,  this  is  a  matter  on 
which  I  do  not  care  to  advise,  and  regarding  which 
each  practitioner  must  act  to  the  best  of  his  own 
judgment. 

Once  more :  Because  it  is  not  safe  to  assume 
that  young  married  people  are  already  possessed 
of  the  details  of  the  essential  knowledge  which  they 
ought  to  possess,  and  because  such  details  are  the 
very  heart  of  the  whole  matter,  I  have  made  these 
details  as  simple  and  explicit  as  possible,  more  so 
than  might  seem  necessary  to  the  professional  reader. 
But  my  experience  has  proven  that  I  was  wise  in 
this  regard,  as  these  very  details  have  saved  the  day 
in  more  than  one  case,  as  the  parties  who  have  re- 
ported to  me,  after  having  read  what  I  have  written, 
have  frequently  testified.  Sometimes  a  bride  and 
groom  would  keep  the  copy  for  a  few  days  only, 
giving  it  but  a  single  reading;  but,  as  a  rule,  they 
have  been  anxious  to  retain  it  for  some  time,  and  to 
read  it  again  and  again,  especially  some  parts  of  it, 
till   they   were  well  posted  on  all   that  it  contains.     I 


Foreword  19 

found,  too,  that  those  who  had  received  help  from 
the  reading  of  the  manuscript  were  glad  to  tell 
others  of  their  friends  of  the  benefits  they  had  re- 
ceived, and  that  thus  there  was  a  constantly 
widening  circle. 

Of  course,  not  all  young  married  people  are  cap- 
able of  reading  this  book  with  profit  to  themselves 
or  anyone  else ;  but  many  of  them  are,  and  these 
ought  to  have  the  privilege  of  doing  so.  Your  own 
good  sense  and  experience  will  determine  who  these 
latter  are,  and  these  you  can  favor  as  they  deserve 
It  is  because  of  this  situation  that  tliis  book  can 
only  be  used  professionally  that  it  needs  the  guiding 
hand  of  an  expert  physician  to  insure  its  reaching 
only  those  who  can  be  benefited  by  its  reading. 

As  to  the  other  class  of  readers,  those  who  have 
not  got  on  well  in  the  marriage  relation  (and  we  all 
know  that  the  name  of  these  is  legion)  my  experi- 
ence in  getting  to  them  what  I  have  written  has  been 
quite  varied ;  but,  on  the  whole,  the  results  have  been 
good — many  times  they  have  been  most  excellent. 
Of  course,  it  is  harder  to  correct  errors  than  to  pre- 
vent them ;  but  as  most  of  the  errors  I  have  had  to 
deal  with  among  this  class  of  patients  have  been 
made  through  ignorance  rather  than  otherwise,  I 
have  found  that  the  establishment  of  knowledge  in 
the  premises  has  generally  brought  relief  where 
before  was  only  sufifering  and  woe. 

Another  way  in  which  I  have  found  the  copy  to 
be  of  the  greatest  value  with  these  cases  of  unsatis- 
factory  marital    relations   is   the   fact   that,   often,   by 


20  Forczi'ord 

the  parties  reading  the  copy  together  they  have 
come  to  a  mutual  understanding  by  so  doing,  and 
have  established  a  modus  vivendi  which  could  not 
have  been  attained  in  any  other  way.  When  such 
parties  see  their  doctor  singly,  either  of  them,  a 
prejudiced  view  is  very  apt  to  result,  and  they  would 
seldom,  if  ever,  come  together  to  consult  a  physician 
regarding  their  troubles.  But  the  reading  of  the 
book  together  makes  a  condition  of  affairs  which  is 
very  apt  to  work  out  for  the  best  interests  of  all 
parties  concerned.  Certainly,  this  is  true,  that  in 
no  case  has  the  reading  of  the  book  made  bad  mat- 
ters worse,  and  in  many  cases,  (indeed  in  nearly  all 
of  them)  it  has  been  of  untold  value  and  benefit  to 
the  readers. 

And  because  these  things  are  so,  because  what 
I  have  written  has  proved  its  worth  in  so  many  cases, 
I  have  finally  concluded  to  give  the  copy  a  larger 
field  in  which  it  may  be  used  by  other  members  of 
the  profession  besides  myself.  I  confide  it  to  my 
fellow-members  in  the  profession  feeling  sure  that 
they  will  use  it  among  their  patients  with  wisdom 
and  discretion ;  and  my  hope  is  that  their  so  doing 
may  yield  for  them  and  theirs  the  most  excellent 
results  which  have  come  to  me  and  mine,  on  these 
lines,  in  the  years  that  have  gone  by. 

Perhaps  I  ought  to  say  that  the  somewhat  unique 
typography  of  the  book,  the  large  percentage  of 
italics,  and  not  a  few  capitalized  words  that  api)ear 
in  the  i)ages.  comes  from  a  duplication  of  the  copy 
I   have  used   with   my  patients.     I  wrote  the  original 


Forezvord  21 

copy  in  this  way  for  the  sake  of  giving  special  em- 
phasis to  special  points  for  my  readers,  and  the 
results  attained  I  believe  were  very  largely  due  to  the 
typographically  emphatic  form  of  the  book.  Appear- 
ing in  type  in  this  way,  it  gives  a  sort  of  personal 
touch  to  what  is  thus  presented  to  the  eye  of  the 
reader,  and  the  tendency  of  this  is  to  establish  a 
heart-to-heart  relation  between  the  author  and  the 
reader  which  could  not  be  attained  in  any  other  way. 

All  through  the  copy  I  have  avoided  the  use  of 
technical  words,  never  using  such  a  term  without 
explaining  its  meaning  in  plain  English  in  the  words 
that  immediately  follow  it.  I  found  this  an  absolute 
necessity  in  writing  so  that  the  lay  reader  could 
understand,  in  saying  things  that  would  produce 
results. 

I  might  say,  also,  that  the  "Introduction"  to  the 
real  subject  matter  of  the  book,  I  found  necessary 
to  write  as  it  is  largely  to  get  my  readers  into  a 
proper  mental  attitude  for  a  reasonable  recognition 
and  understanding  of  what  follows  it.  There  are 
so  many  wrong  teachings  and  biased  ideas  in  the 
premises  that  these  had  to  be  counteracted  or  re- 
moved, to  a  degree,  at  least,  before  the  rest  of  the 
copy  could  be  rightly  read.  My  experience  is,  that 
the  preface,  as  it  stands,  has  been  the  means  of  put- 
ting the  readers  of  the  book  into  a  right  mental 
attitude  for  its  successful  study  and  consideration. 
For  the  good  of  the  cause  it  is  written  to  serve,  and 
for  help  to  those  who  need  help  in  the  most  sacred 


22  Foreword 

and  significant  affairs  of  their  lives,  may  the  book 
go  on  its  way,  if  not  rejoicing  in  itself,  yet  causing 
rejoicing  in  the  lives  and  hearts  of  all  who  read  what 
its  pages  contain. 

H.  W.  L. 


SANE  SEX  LIFE  AND 
SANE     SEX     LIVING 


SANE  SEX  LIFE  AND 
SANE  SEX  LIVING 

I 

AN  EXPLANATORY  INTRODUCTION 

I 

A  PIOUS  Christian  once  said  to  me:  "I  find  it 
hard  to  reconcile  sex  with  the  purity  of  Provi- 
dence." He  never  could  understand  why  God 
arranged  for  sex  anyway.  Why  something  else  might 
not  have  been  done.  Why  children  might  not  have 
come  in  some  other  fashion. 

Look  at  the  harm  sex  has  involved.  Most  all 
the  deviltry  of  history  that  was  not  done  for  money 
was  done  for  sex.  And  even  the  deviltry  that  was 
done  and  is  done  for  money  had,  and  has  sex  back 
of  it.  Take  sex  out  of  man  and  you  have  something 
worth  while.  God  must  have  been  short  of  expedi- 
ents when  God,  in  sex,  conceived  sex.  It  certainly 
looks  as  if  the  Divine  fell  down  this  time.  As  if  in- 
finity was  at  the  end  of  its  tether.  As  if  the  adept 
creator  for  once  was  caught  napping,  or  for  once 
botched  a  job. 

So  we  had  my  pious  friend.  And  we  had  medie- 
valism. And  we  had  the  ascetics.  And  heaven  knows 
what  else.  Too  much  sex  some  places.  Too  little 
sex  other  places.     Some  people  swearing  on  and  some 

25 


26  Sane  Sex  Life 

swearing  off.  The  prostitute  giving  away  that  which 
was  meant  to  be  kept.  The  virgin  keeping  that  which 
was  meant  to  be  given  away.  A  force  contending 
with  a  force.  Drawing  in  opposite  directions  when 
they  should  be  pulling  together.  Through  it  all, 
motherhood  misunderstood.  And  fatherhood  misun- 
derstood. The  body  cheapened  to  the  soul.  And  the 
soul  cheapened  to  the  body.  Every  child  being  a 
slap  in  the  face  of  virtue. 

Have  you  ever  tried  to  see  what  this  came  from 
and  goes  to?  This  philosophy  of  vulgar  denial? 
This  philosophy  of  wallowing  surrender? 

The  Christian  stream  has  been  polluted.  It  has 
gone  dirty  in  the  age  of  hush.  We  are  supposed  to 
keep  our  mouths  shut.  We  are  not  to  give  sex  away. 
We  breed  youngsters  in  fatal  ignorance.  They  are 
always  asking  questions.  But  we  don't  answer  their 
questions.  The  church  don't  answer  them.  Nor  the 
state.  Nor  the  schools.  Not  even  mothers  and 
fathers.  Nobody  who  could  answer  answers  them. 
But  they  don't  go  unanswered.  They  get  answered. 
And  they  get  answered  wrong  instead  of  right.  They 
get  answered,  smutched  instead  of  washed.  They 
get  answered  blasphemously  instead  of  reverently. 
They  get  answered  so  that  the  body  is  suspected 
instead  of  being  trusted. 

A  boy  who  knows  nothing  asks  a  boy  who  knows 
nothing.  A  girl  who  knows  nothing  asks  a  girl  who 
knows  nothing.  From  nothing  nothing  comes.  Men 
who  have  been  such  boys  know  nothing.  Women  who 
have   been   such   girls   know    nothing.      From   nothing 


Sane  Sex  Living  27 

nothing  comes.  They  have  become  familiar  with 
sex  circumstances.  They  are  parents.  They  have 
done  the  best  they  knew  how.  But  they  never  learned 
sex.  They  never  realized  its  fundamentals.  They 
never  went  back  to,  or  forward  to  it.  They  were 
lost  in  a  wilderness.  They  existed  without  living. 
They  took  sex  as  they  took  whiskey.  They  breathed 
an  atmosphere  of  hush.  They  had  got  past  the 
ascetics.  But  they  had  not  got  to  be  men  and  women. 
They  didn't  refuse  sex.  But  though  embracing  its 
privileges,  they  still  seemed  to  regard  it  as  something 
not  to  be  gloried  in.  The  least  said  about  it  the 
soonest  mended.  Mothers  and  fathers  would  say  to 
children :  "You'll  know  about  it  soon  enough." 
Teachers  would  say :  "Ask  your  questions  at  home." 
Home  would  say:  "What  ever  started  you  thinking 
about  such  things?" 

The  child  goes  about  wondering.  What's  the 
matter  with  sex  that  everybody's  afraid  to  talk  about 
it?  What's  the  matter  with  my  body  that  I  dare  not 
mention  it?  My  body  seems  very  beautiful  to  me. 
I  like  to  look  at  it.  I  like  to  feel  it.  I  like  to  smell 
it.  But  I'm  always  hurried  into  my  clothes.  My 
body  is  so  mysteriously  precious  I  must  take  care 
of  it.  But  how  am  I  to  take  care  of  it  if  I  don't  get 
acquainted  with  it? 

I  find  that  having  a  body  has  something  to  do 
with  being  a  father  and  a  mother.  I  want  to  be  a 
father.  I  want  to  be  a  mother.  But  how  can  I 
be  a  father  or  mother  if  some  one  who  knows  doesn't 
tell  me   what  precedes    fatherhood   and   motherhood? 


28  Sane  Sex  Life 

I  should  prepare  for  it.  How  can  I  if  all  the  books 
are  closed?  How  can  I  if  I  am  blanked  every  time 
I  express  my  curiosity?  Is  there  no  one  anywhere 
who'll  be  honest  with  me  ? 

If  I  look  at  sex  right  out  of  my  own  soul,  it 
seems  like  something  which  God  didn't  fail  with,  but 
succeeded  with.  Like  something  not  polluted,  but 
purified.  Like  something  having  everything,  instead 
of  only  an  occasional  thing,  to  do  with  life.  But 
the  world  shakes  its  head.  The  world  is  nasty.  But 
it  puts  on  airs.  The  world  has  eaten.  But  the  world 
says  it's  best  to  starve.  Folks  will  say  they've  got 
to  be  parents.  But  they  say  they  will  regret  it. 
They  say  sex  is  here.  They  say  we're  up  against 
its  mandates  or  its  passions.  But  let's  be  as  decent 
as  we  can  with  the  indecent.  Let's  not  linger  on  its 
margins.  Let's  not  overstay  our  dissipation.  Sex 
is  like  eating.  Who  would  eat  if  he  didn't  have  to? 
To  say  you  enjoy  a  meal  is  carnal.  To  say  that 
you  derive  some  sense  of  ecstasy  from  paternal  and 
maternal  desires  is  a  confession  of  depravity.  Sex 
at  the  best  is  a  sin. 

Sex  at  the  best  is  like  stepping  down.  That  sex 
might  be  an  ascent.  That  sex  might  be  the  only 
means  of  growth  and  expansion.  You  never  sup- 
pose that !  You  only  assume  perdition.  You  are 
afraid  to  assume  heaven.  I  may  take  pride  in  that 
which  I  may  abstract  from  my  anatomy.  I  must 
not  allude  to  my  body  as  frankly  as  to  my  soul.  I 
must  withdraw  my  body  from  the  public  eye.  From 
discussion.     From  its  instinctive  avowals.     Our  bodies 


Sane  Sex  Living  29 

must  be  coffined.  Treated  as  dead  before  they  are 
born.  Regarded  as  conveniences.  Not  as  essential 
entities.  The  body  is  only  for  a  little  while.  The 
soul  is  forever.  But  why  is  that  little  while  not 
as  holy  as  forever?  They  don't  say.  They  cavalierly 
settle  the  case  of  the  body  against  itself. 

So  it  goes.  Endless  vivid  portrayals  could  be 
made  of  the  anomalous  situation.  The  more  you 
look  at  the  mess  we've  got  sex  into  the  worse  it 
seems.  Someone's  got  to  peach.  Someone's  got  to 
tell  the  truth.  In  a  world  of  liars  who  are  hushers? 
In  a  world  of  hushers  who  are  liars?  Someone's 
got  to  tell  the  truth.  Someone's  got  to  give  sex  its 
due.  You  can't  give  spirit  its  due  until  you  give 
sex  its  due.  You  can't  accept  one  and  cast  aside 
one.     They  go  together.    They  are  inseparable. 

You  refer  to  body  and  soul  as  if  you  knew  just 
where  one  stops  and  the  other  commences.  Maybe 
neither  stops  and  neither  commences.  Maybe  they 
are  not  two  things  but  two  names.  Maybe  when  you 
put  a  body  into  a  grave  you  put  a  soul  there  too. 
And  maybe  you  put  neither  there.  It's  not  so 
easy  to  say. 

I  can't  see  anything  in  the  things  you  call  spir- 
itual more  marvelous  than  what  you  call  the  physical 
birth  of  a  baby  from  a  mother.  Maybe  you  know 
all  about  it.  I  don't.  I  know  nothing  about  it.  To 
me  it's  mysterious.  To  me  it's  the  supreme  demon- 
stration of  the  spiritual. 

How  that  a  baby  comes  from  a  man  and  a 
woman.      I    want   that    kept    clean.      It    starts    clean. 


30  Sane  Sex  Life 

Why  do  we  corrupt  it?  You  who  disparage  it  corrupt 
it.  You  ascetics  anywhere.  You  Hbidinous  roues 
anywhere.  You  corrupt  it.  By  your  excesses. 
You  who  never  say  yes.  You  who  never  say  no. 
You  corrupt  it. 

You  parents.  You  professors.  You  prudes.  This 
is  addressed  to  you.  What  have  you  got  to  say 
about  it?  You  have  trembUngly  closed  the  question. 
I  would  coolly  open  it.  You  have  rebuked  God  by 
silence.     I  would  praise  God  by  speech. 


II 

THE  ARGUMENT  AND  THE  INFORMATION 

NO  apology  is  offered  for  what  is  said  in  the 
following  pages,  but  a  brief  explanation  is 
virtually  necessary  to  make  clear,  from  the  outset, 
the  reasons  why  it  has  been  written. 

It  is  one  of  the  chief  characteristics  of  the  human 
race  that  the  knowledge  acquired  by  one  generation 
can  be  passed  on  to  the  generations  that  follow ; 
and  that,  in  this  way,  progress  in  the  betterment 
of  life's  results  and  the  adaptation  of  means  to  ends 
can  make  a  steady  and  reliable  advance. 

Such  a  method  of  evolution  and  growth  is  not 
possible  in  the  vegetable  or  animal  kingdom,  where 
instinct  is  the  only  means  for  the  transmission  of 
acquired  knowledge.  It  is  this  feature  that  differen- 
tiates man  from  all  other  created  beings. 

But  here  is  a  curious  fact :  In  one  realm  of  human 
experiences,  in  all  Christian  civilized  countries,  it 
has  been  considered  wrong,  even  in  some  cases  being 
counted  a  criminal  offense,  punishable  by  fine  and 
imprisonment,  for  anyone  to  make  any  record  of, 
or  transmit  to  anyone  else,  any  knowledge  that  may 
have  been  acquired  regarding  sex  relations  in  the 
human  family. 

31 


32  Sane  Sex  Life 

To  be  sure,  there  has  been  preserved,  from  time  to 
time,  a  body  of  professional  knowledge  of  this  sort, 
made  and  prepared  by  physicians,  but  confined 
strictly  to  that  class  of  people.  No  attempt  has  been 
made  to  disseminate  such  knowledge  among  those 
who  most  need  it — the  common  people.  On  the  con- 
trary, every  possible  effort  is  put  forth  to  keep  such 
knowledge  from  them.  This  is  wholly  at  variance 
with  the  practice  regarding  all  other  forms  of  human 
knowledge,  which  is  to  spread,  as  widely  as  possible, 
all  known  data  that  have  so  far  been  obtained. 

There  is  not  space,  in  this  small  volume,  for 
pointing  out  the  reasons  for  this  anomalous  condi- 
tion of  affairs,  but  the  chief  cause  of  its  status,  past 
and  present,  is  grounded  on  two  sources :  The  first 
of  these  is  a  brutal  selfishness  which  has  come  over  to 
modern  times  from  a  savage  past ;  the  second  is  a 
sort  of  pious  prudery. 

The  result  of  these  causes  has  been  to  make  the 
whole  subject  of  sex  in  the  human  family,  with  its 
functions  and  mission  in  human  affairs,  together 
with  its  proper  training,  discipline  and  exercise — 
to  make  all  these  things  tabu,  something  to  be 
ashamed  of  and  ignored  as  much  as  possible,  and 
all  the  knowledge  regarding  them  that  one  genera- 
tion has  been  permitted  to  transmit  to  those  who 
come  after,  may  be  summed  up  in  these  words, 
namely  "Thou  shall  not." 

Now    it    goes    without    saying    that,    in    the    very 
nature   of    things,   all   this   is   just   as   bad   as   it    can 


Sane  Sex  Living  33 

possibly  be.  For,  of  all  phenomena  with  which  the 
human  race  has  to  do,  that  of  the  highest  import- 
ance, so  far  as  the  well-being  of  the  race  is  concerned, 
is  that  which  has  to  do  with  sex  in  men  and  women. 
A  large  percentage  of  all  the  physical  ailments  in 
mankind  and  womankind  arise  from  errors  in  sexual 
life,  and  these  are  but  trifles  compared  with  the 
mental  and  spiritual  disasters  which  come  upon 
humanity  from  the  same  source.  It  is  probably  true 
that  more  than  one-half  of  all  the  crimes  that  are 
committed  in  the  civilized  world  are  more  or  less 
directly  connected  wath  sex  affairs,  and  there  is  no 
so  common  a  cause  for  insanity  as  sex  aberrations. 

And  nearly  all  these  ills,  crimes  and  misfortunes 
arise  because  of  ignorance  in  the  matter  of  sex  in 
which  the  rank  and  file  of  the  race  are  forced  to 
live.  Few  of  these  ever  acquire  any  positive  and 
definite  knowledge  in  the  premises,  and  if  they  do 
learn  anything  for  sure,  they  keep  it  to  themselves, 
inspired  to  do  so  by  a  false  belief  regarding  the 
rightful  transmission  of  such  knowledge;  or,  by  a 
false  modesty,  or  prudery,  they  are  kept  from  telling 
to  anyone  else  what  they  have  discovered  or  found 
to  be  the  truth  in  these  matters.  And  so  the  people 
stumble  along  in  ignorance  of  these  vital  affairs  in 
life,  generation  after  generation,  repeating  the 
errors  of  their  predecessors,  and  no  positive  progress 
being  made  as  the  years  go  by.  Because  of  this 
state  of  affairs  millions  of  human  beings  die  every 
ijeneration,  and  other  millions  suffer  the  tortures 
of    the    damned    while    they    live,    when    they    should 


34  Sane  Sex  Life 

enjoy  the  delights  of  the  elect,  and  would  do  so  if 
thev  only  knew  the  actual  facts  in  the  case,  and  would 
act  in  accordance  with  the  knowledge  that  ought  to 
be  made  theirs. 

But  there  are  not  wanting  signs  of  the  times  that 
there  will  slowly  come  a  change  in  these  conditions. 
The  fact  is  that  the  intelligent  world  is  beginning 
to  emerge  from  a  condition  of  conformity  to  the 
say-so  of  some  one  supposed  to  speak  with  authority, 
and  to  come  into  a  realm  of  obedience  only  to  a  law 
that  has  a  scientific  basis  of  actual  knowledge  for 
its  foundation. 

For  untold  ages  the  sex  relations  of  the  human 
family  have  been  directed  and  determined  by  the 
clergy  and  by  their  teachings  and  pronunciamentos 
regarding  what  was  fit  and  right.  There  is  no  need 
of  saying  hard  things  about  such  a  fact ;  neverthe- 
less, it  is  true  that,  for  the  most  part,  all  the  dicta 
of  these  men  have  originated  amongst  those  who 
knew  nothing  of  the  scientific  conditions  regarding 
the  subject  on  which  they  issue  their  mandates.  So 
did  the  l)lind  lead  the  blind,  and  the  ditches  of  the 
past  years  are  filled  to  overflowing  with  the  dead 
bodies  and  souls  of  men  and  women,  who,  for  this 
cause,  have  fallen  therein. 

This  must  not  always  be !  It  is  neither  wise  nor 
right  that  the  essential  matters  of  human  life  should 
always  remain  a  stumbling  block  and  a  rock  of 
offense  for  the  children  of  men.  We  are  coming  to 
see  that  sex  is  no  more  unclean  and  to  be  denied  a 
scientific   knowledge   of,  than    any   other   part   of   the 


Sane  Sex  Living  35 

human  body — the  eye,  the  ear  or  whatsoever.  Fur- 
thermore, the  rank  and  file  are  beginning  to  clamor 
for  a  knowledge  of  these  matters  for  themselves. 
This  is  shown  by  the  frequency  of  articles  that  deal 
with  sex  in  many  of  the  best  newspapers  and  maga- 
zines in  the  civilized  world,  and  by  similar  discus- 
sions in  the  literature,  the  works  and  scientific  books 
that  now  go  into  the  hands  of  the  common  people. 
It  also  shows  in  the  attempts  that  are  occasionally 
being  made  to  introduce  the  subject  of  sexual  hygiene 
into  our  public  schools  and  other  educational 
institutions.    "The  world  do  move !" 

It  is  for  these  reasons — because  it  is  right  to 
transfer  to  you  and  to  those  who  come  after,  the 
sex  knowledge  that  has  been  acquired  by  the  author, 
by  reading  scientific  and  professional  literature  upon 
the  subject,  by  conference  with  men  and  women  who 
know,  and  by  personal  and  professional  experience, 
that  what  follows  is  written. 


Ill 

THE   CORRECT    MENTAL   ATTITUDE 

SO  much  by  way  of  general  remarks  regarding 
the  subject  in  hand.  It  is  more  the  especial 
purpose  of  what  follows,  however,  to  treat  of  the 
matter  of  marriage  in  particular,  to  say  something 
definite  to  young  husbands  and  wives  that  shall  he  of 
real  benefit  to  them,  not  only  by  way  of  starting  them 
out  right  in  the  new  and  untried  way  upon  which 
they  have  entered,  but  to  help  them  to  make  that 
way  a  realm  of  perpetual  and  ever  increasing  joy 
to  both  parties  concerned,  throughout  its  entire 
course,  their  whole  lives  long. 

Be  it  said,  then,  first,  that  it  is  the  duty  of  every 
bride  and  groom,  before  they  engage  in  sexual  com- 
merce with  each  other,  to  acquaint  themselves  thor- 
oughly with  the  anatomy  and  physiology  of  the 
sex  organs  of  human  beings,  both  male  and  female, 
and  to  make  the  acquirement  of  such  knowledge  as 
dispassionate  and  matter-of-fact  an  aflfair  as  though 
they  were  studying  the  nature,  construction  and 
functions  of  the  stomach,  or  the  digestive  processes 
entire,  or  the  nature  and  use  of  any  of  the  other 
bodily  organs.  "Clear  and  clean  am  I  within  and 
without ;  clear  and  clean  is  every  .scrap  and  j^art  of 
me,   and   no   part   shall   be   held   more   sacred   or   pre- 

36 


Sane  Sex  Living  37 

ferred  above  another.  For  divine  am  1.  and  all  I  am, 
or  contain." 

Now  the  normal  young  man  or  woman  would  do 
just  this,  would  pursue  a  study  of  sex  in  this  way, 
were  it  not  for  the  fact  that  they  have  been  taught, 
time  out  of  mind,  that  to  do  this  is  immodest,  not 
to  say  indecent  or  positively  wicked.  They  have 
longed  to  be  possessed  of  such  knowledge,  all  their 
lives ;  in  most  cases  more  than  any  other  form  of 
wisdom  that  it  was  possible  for  them  to  make  their 
own.  But  its  acquirement  has  been  placed  beyond 
their  possible  reach,  and  it  is  only  by  the  most 
clandestine  and  often  nasty  means  that  they  have 
attained  what  little  they  know.  But  the  quotation 
made  in  the  last  paragraph,  sounds  the  key  note  of 
what  is  right  in  this  matter,  and  the  first  effort  made 
by  the  reader  of  these  pages  should  be  to  establish  in 
himself  or  herself  the  condition  of  mind  which  these 
lines  embody. 

And  it  had  better  be  said,  right  here,  that  for 
most  young  people  this  will  be  found  to  be  no  ca^y 
thing  to  do.  Nor  should  the  reader  feel  ashamed 
or  chagrined,  or  at  odds  with  himself  or  herself  if 
he  or  she  finds  such  condition  of  afifairs  existing 
in  his  or  her  case.  For  it  is  nothing  for  which  they 
are  to  blame.  It  is  a  misfortune  and  not  a  fault. 
It  is  only  the  result  of  inherited  and  inculcated  (the 
word  inculcated  means  kicked  in)  ideas  to  which  all 
"well  bred"  youths  have  been  subjected  for  cen- 
turies ;  the  idea  being  that  the  closer  they  were  kept 
in    the    realm    of    innocence,    which    is    only    another 


38  Sane  Sex  Life 

name  for  ignorance,  the  better  "bred"  they  are. 
And  to  pry  one's  self  loose,  to  break  or  tear  one's 
self  away  from  such  a  mental  view  and  condition  as 
heredity  and  such  years  of  rigorous  restraint  have 
developed,  is  no  small  task.  Indeed,  it  often  takes 
months,  and  sometimes  years,  wholly  to  rid  one's  self 
of  these  deep  seated  and  powerful,  wrong  views  and 
prejudices. 

Remember  this:  that  to  the  pure  all  things  are 
pure.  But  do  not  make  the  mistake  of  thinking  that 
this  much  abused  sentence  means  that  purity  means 
emptiness!  It  does  no  such  thing.  On  the  contrary, 
it  means  fullness,  to  perfection.  It  means  that  one 
should  be  possessed  of  the  right  kind  of  stuff,  and 
that  the  stuff  should  be  of  supreme  quality.  So,  in 
studying  to  obtain  a  knowledge  of  sex  organs  and 
sex  functions,  in  the  human  family,  the  reader  should 
not  try  to  divest  himself  or  herself  of  all  sex-passion 
and  desire ;  but,  on  the  contrary,  to  make  these  of 
a  sort  of  which  he  or  she  can  be  proud,  rather  than 
ashamed  of,  rejoice  in,  rather  than  suffer  from. 

So,  then,  let  the  reader  of  these  lines,  first,  get 
a  correct  mental  attitude  toward  what  is  about  to 
be  said.  Banish  all  prurient  curiosity,  put  aside  all 
thought  of  shame  or  shock,  (these  two  will  be  hardest 
for  young  women  to  overcome,  because  of  their 
training  in  false  modesty  and  prudishness)  and  en- 
deavor to  approach  the  subject  in  a  reverent,  open- 
eyed,  conscientious  spirit,  as  one  who  wishes,  above 
everything  else,  to  know  the  honest  truth  in  these 
most   essential    matters    that    pertain    to    human    life. 


Sane  Sex  Living  39 

Get  into  this  frame  of  mind,  and  keep  in  it,  and  what 
is  here  written  will  be  read  with  both  pleasure  and 
profit. 

Once  more,  for  we  must  make  haste  slowly  in 
these  delicate  affairs,  if  the  reader  should  find  him- 
self or  herself  unduly  excited,  or  perhaps  shocked, 
while  reading  some  parts  of  what  is  here  written,  so 
that  the  heart  beats  too  fast,  or  the  hand  trembles, 
it  may  be  well  to  suspend  the  reading  for  a  time, 
divert  the  mind  into  other  channels  for  a  while 
and  resume  the  reading  after  one  has  regained  poise 
and  mastery  of  one's  self.  That  is,  "keep  your 
head"  while  you  read  these  lessons,  and  you  will  be 
all  right. 


IV 


THE  SEX  ORGANS 


AND  now,  having  given  these  cautionary  direc- 
tions, the  way  is  clear  for  the  making  of  definite 
statements  and  the  giving  of  positive  instruction. 

Here,  then,  is  a  brief  description  of  the  sex  organs 
in  man  and  woman.  At  first,  only  the  names  of 
the  parts  will  be  given,  with  such  slight  comments 
and  explanations  as  are  necessary  for  making  this 
part  of  the  subject  clear.  A  detailed  setting  forth 
of  the  functions  and  proper  exercise  of  these  organs 
will  be  given  later. 

The  sex  organs  in  a  male  human  being  consists, 
broadly  speaking,  of  the  penis  and  the  testicles. 
All  these  are  located  at  the  base  of  the  abdomen, 
between  the  thighs  and  on  the  forward  part  of  the 
body.  The  penis  is  a  fleshy,  muscular  organ,  filled 
with  most  sensitive  nerves,  and  blood  vessels  that  are 
cai)able  of  extension  to  a  much  greater  degree  than 
any  of  their  similars  in  other  parts  of  the  body.  In 
a  quiescent,  or  unexcited  condition,  in  the  average 
man,  this  organ  is  from  three  to  four  inches  long 
and  about  an  inch  or  more  in  diameter.  It  hangs 
limp  and  pendent  in  this  state,  retired  and  in  evi- 
dence not  at  all.     In  its  excited,  or  tumescent  condi- 

40 


Sane  Sex  Living  41 

tion  (the  word  tumescent  means  swelled,  and  is  the 
technical  word  for  describing  the  erect  condition  of 
the  penis)  it  becomes  enlarged  and  rigid,  its  size  in 
this  state  being,  on  an  average,  six  or  seven  inches 
long,  and  from  an  inch-and-a-half  to  two  inches  in 
diameter.  It  is  almost  perfectly  cylindrical,  slightly 
thicker  at  the  base  than  at  its  forward  part. 

The  testicles  are  two  kidney  shaped  glands,  not 
far  from  the  size  of  a  large  hickory  nut,  and  are 
contained  in  a  sort  of  sack,  or  pocket,  called  the 
scrotum,  which  is  made  for  their  comfortable  and 
safe  carrying.  The  scrotum  hangs  directly  between 
the  thighs,  at  the  base  of  the  penis,  and  in  it  are 
the  testicles,  suspended  by  vital  cords  that  are  sus- 
pended from  the  body  above.  The  left  testicle  hangs 
a  little  higher  in  the  sack  than  the  right,  so  that, 
in  case  the  thighs  are  crowded  together,  one  testicle 
will  slip  over  the  other,  and  so  the  danger  of  crush- 
ing them  will  be  avoided.  This  is  one  of  the  many 
ways  which  the  Maker  of  the  human  body  has  devised 
to  insure  the  proper  preservation  of  the  vital  organs 
from  harm,  a  fact  which  should  inspire  all  human 
beings  with  profound  reverence  for  this  most  won- 
derful of  all  life  forms,  the  beautiful  human  body, 
the  "temple  of  the  Holy  Spirit." 

The  part  of  the  body  upon  which  the  sex  organs, 
male  and  female,  are  located  is  known  as  the  pubic 
region.  It  is  covered  with  hair,  which,  in  both  sexes, 
extends  well  up  the  lower  belly.  This  is  known  as 
pubic  hair,  and  in  general  corresponds  in  quality 
and   quantity   to    the   hair    upon   the   individual    head, 


42  Sane  Sex  Life 

being  coarse  or  fine,  soft  or  bristly,  to  match  the 
head  covering,  in  each  case.  This  hair  is  usually 
more  or  less  curly,  and  forms  a  covering  an  inch  or 
more  in  depth  over  the  whole  pubic  region,  extending 
back  between  the  thighs  slightly  beyond  the  rectum. 
In  occasional  cases  this  hair  is  straight  and  silky 
and  sometimes  grows  to  great  length,  instances  being 
known,  in  some  women,  where  it  has  extended  to  the 
knees.  A  well-grown  and  abundant  supply  of  fine 
pubic  hair  is  a  possession  highly  prized  by  women, 
of  which  they  are  justly  proud,  though  few  of  them 
would  acknowledge  the  fact,  even  to  themselves. 
None  the  less  it  is  a  fact. 

The  female  sex  organs,  speaking  generally  also, 
are  as  follows :  The  vulva,  or  outward  portion  of  the 
parts;  the  vaginal  passage;  the  uterus,  or  womb,  and 
the  ovaries.  All  but  the  first  named  lie  within  the 
body  of  the  woman.  The  vulva  is  made  up  of  several 
parts  which  will  be  named  and  described  later.  The 
vaginal  passage  is  a  tube,  or  canal  leading  from  the 
vulva  to  the  womb.  In  length  and  diameter  it  cor- 
responds almost  exactly  w4th  that  of  the  penis,  being 
six  or  seven  inches  in  depth,  and  capable  of  a  lateral 
extension  which  will  readily  admit  the  entrance  of 
the  male  organ  when  the  two  are  brought  together. 
The  vaginal  passage  opens  into,  and  terminates  in 
the  uterine,  or  womb  cavity. 

The  womb  is  a  pear  shaped  sack  which  is  sus- 
pended in  the  womb  cavity  by  cords  and  muscles 
from  above.  It  hangs,  neck  downwards,  and  is,  in 
its   unimpregnated    condition,    about    two    and    a    half 


Sane  Sex  Living  43 

inches  in  diameter  at  its  upper,  or  widest  part,  taper- 
ing to  a  thin  neck  at  its  lower  end.  It  is  hard  and 
muscular  in  its  quiescent  state,  filled  with  delicate 
and  most  sensitive  nerves  and  capacious  blood  ves- 
sels. At  its  lower,  or  neck  end,  it  opens  directly  into 
the  vaginal  passage. 

The  ovaries  are  two  in  number,  and  are  situated 
on  each  side  of,  and  above  the  womb,  in  the  region 
of  the  upper  groins.  They  are  small,  fan  shaped 
glands,  and  are  connected  with  the  uterus  by  small 
ducts  which  are  known  as  the  fallopian  tubes. 

As  already  stated,  the  exterior  parts  of  the  body, 
in  which  the  female  sex  organs  are  located,  are 
covered  with  hair  for  their  adornment  and  protection. 

Such  in  brief,  are  the  male  and  female  sex  organs 
in  human  beings.  A  further  description  of  them  and 
their  functions  and  proper  use  we  are  now  ready  to 
consider. 


THE  FUNCTION  OF  THE  SEX  ORGANS 

IT  hardly  need  be  stated  here,  for  it  is  a  matter 
of  common  knowledge,  that  the  primary  pur- 
pose of  sex  in  the  human  family  is  the  reproduction 
of  the  race.  In  this  respect,  considered  merely  on 
its  material,  or  animal  side,  mankind  differs  little 
from  all  other  forms  of  animate  life.  As  Whitman 
says,  we  see  "everywhere  sex,  everywhere  the  urge 
of  procreation."  That  flowers  are  possessed  of  this 
quality,  and  with  them  all  vegetable  forms.  In  the 
animal  kingdom  the  same  is  true.  Always  "male  and 
female"  is  everything  created. 

And  the  chief  facts  in  reproduction  are  practic- 
ally the  same  wherever  the  phenomena  occur.  Here, 
as  everywhere  else  in  the  world,  when  a  new  life- 
form  appears,  it  is  always  the  result  of  the  union  of 
two  forces,  elements,  germs  or  whatsoever.  These 
two  elements  differ  in  nature  and  in  function,  and 
each  is  incomplete  and  worthless  by  itself.  It  is  only 
by  the  combining  of  the  two  that  any  new  result  is 
obtained.  It  is  this  fact  that  has  led  to  the  most 
suggestive  and  beautiful  phrase  "The  duality  of  all 
unity  in  nature." 

Many  centuries  ago  an  old  Latin  philosopher 
wrote    the    now    celebrated    phrase,     Omne    ex    ovo, 

44 


Sane  Sex  Living  45 

which,  translated,  means  everything  is  from  an  egg. 
This  is  practically  true  of  all  life-forms.  Their  hegin- 
ning  is  always  from  an  ovum,  or  egg.  In  this  respect, 
the  reproduction  of  human  beings  is  the  same  as 
that  of  any  other  life-form. 

Now  in  this  process  of  producing  a  new  life-form, 
the  female  is  always  the  source  of  the  egg,  out  of 
which  the  new  creation  is  to  come.  This  egg,  how- 
ever, is  infertile  of  itself,  and  must  be  given  life  to, 
by  mingling  with  its  germ,  an  element  which  only 
the  male  can  produce  and  supply.  This  element  is 
technically  known  as  a  sperm,  or  a  spermatozoa.  Its 
function  is  to  fertilize  the  dormant  germ  in  the  egg 
produced  by  the  female,  and  thus  to  start  a  new 
and  independent  life-form.  This  life-form,  thus 
started,  grows  according  to  the  laws  of  its  becoming 
more  and  more,  until,  at  the  expiration  of  a  fixed 
period,  which  varies  greatly  in  different  animals,  it 
becomes  a  complete  young  individual,  of  the  nature 
and  kind  of  its  parents.  The  fertilization  of  the 
ovum  in  the  female  is  called  conception  ;  its  growing 
state  is  called  gestation,  and  its  birth,  on  becoming 
a  separate  being,  is  called  parturition.  In  its  grow- 
ing condition,  and  before  its  birth,  the  new  young 
life  form  is  known  as  the  foetus. 

Now  it  is  the  fertilization  of  the  ovum  in  the 
female  (and  from  now  on,  it  is  only  of  the  male  and 
female  in  the  human  family  that  mention  will  be 
made)  by  the  male,  in  the  woman,  by  the  man,  that 
is  of  supreme  interest  and  importance  to  both  the 
parties  concerned  in  producing  this  result.     How  this 


46  Sane  Sex  Life 

is  brought  about  is  substantially  as  follows : 

As  already  stated,  the  infertile  ovum,  or  egg,  is 
produced  by  the  woman.  Such  production  begins  at 
what  is  known  as  the  age  of  puberty,  or  when  the 
hair  begins  to  grow  upon  the  pubic  parts  of  the 
female  body.  The  time  of  the  appearance  of  this 
phenomenon  in  feminine  life  varies  from  the  age  of 
nine  or  ten  years  to  fifteen  or  sixteen.  The  average, 
for  most  girls,  is  fourteen  years  of  age.  At  this 
time  the  formation  of  ova,  or  eggs,  in  the  female 
body  begins,  and  it  continues,  in  most  women,  at  reg- 
ular intervals  of  once  in  twenty-eight  days,  except 
during  pregnancy  and  lactation,  for  a  period  of  about 
thirty  years.  During  all  this  time,  under  favorable 
conditions,  it  is  possible  for  the  ovum  produced  by 
the  woman  to  become  fertilized,  if  it  can  meet  the 
sperm  of  the  male. 

In  a  general  way,  this  meeting  of  the  infertile 
ovum  of  the  woman  with  the  sperm  of  the  man  can 
be  brought  about,  as  follows : 

The  ova  are  produced  by  the  ovaries  (the  word 
ovaries  means  egg  producers)  where  they  slowly 
develop  from  cells  which  originate  in  these  glands. 
When  they  have  reached  maturity,  or  are  ready  for 
fertilization,  they  pass  out  of  the  ovaries  and  down 
into  the  womb,  by  way  of  the  fallopian  tubes.  As 
already  stated,  such  passage  of  the  ova  from  the 
ovaries  into  the  womb  occurs  every  twenty-eight 
days,  and  it  is  accomplished  by  a  more  or  less  co- 
pious flow  of  blood,  a  sort  of  hemorrhage,  which 
carries    the    ova    down    through    the    fallopian    tubes. 


Sane  Sex  Living  47 

and  deposits  them  in  the  womb.  This  blood,  after 
performing  its  mission  of  carrying  the  ova  down 
into  the  womb,  escapes  from  the  body  through  the 
vaginal  passage  and  is  cared  for  by  the  wearing  of 
a  bandage  between  the  thighs.  This  flow  of  blood 
continues  for  about  five  days,  and  is  known  as  a 
menstrual  flow ;  and  this  time  in  a  woman's  life  is 
known  as  the  menstrual  period.  It  is  so  named  be- 
cause of  the  regularity  of  its  recurrence,  the  word 
mensa  meaning  a  month.  In  common  parlance,  these 
periods  are  often  spoke  of  as  the  "monthlies." 

After  the  ovum  has  reached  the  womb  it  remains 
there  for  a  period  of  about  ten  days,  after  which, 
if  it  is  not  fertilized  during  that  time,  it  passes  out 
of  the  womb  into  the  vaginal  passage,  and  so  out  of 
the  body.  But  if,  at  any  time  after  it  is  ripe  for 
fertilization,  that  is,  from  the  time  it  begins  its 
journey  from  the  ovaries  to  the  womb,  and  while  it 
is  in  the  womb,  the  ovum  is  met  by  the  male  sperm, 
it  is  liable  to  become  fertilized — conception  is  pos- 
sible. These  are  facts  of  the  utmost  importance,  to 
be  thoroughly  understood  and  kept  well  in  mind  by 
all  married  people  who  would  live  happily  together, 
as  will  be  hereafter  shown. 

So  much  regarding  the  female  part  of  the  meet- 
ing of  the  ovum  and  the  sperm.  The  male  part  of  this 
mutual  act  is  as  follows : 

The  sperm,  or  spermatozoa,  originate  in  the  tes- 
ticles. Each  sperm  is  an  individual  entity  and 
several  thousands  of  them  are  produced  and  in  readi- 
ness for  use,  at  each  meeting  of  the  male  and  female 


48  Sane  Sex  Life 

generative  organs ;  and  if  any  one  of  the  countless 
number  comes  in  contact  with  the  unfertilized  ovum 
in  the  womb,  conception  is  liable  to  result. 

These  sperms  are  so  small  that  they  are  not  visi- 
ble to  the  naked  eye,  but  they  are  readily  seen  by  the 
use  of  a  microscope.  In  shape  they  much  resemble 
tad-poles  in  their  earliest  stages. 

At  the  base  of  the  penis,  well  up  in  the  man's 
body,  there  is  a  large  gland  which  surrounds  the 
penis  like  a  thick  ring,  and  which  is  called  the  pros- 
tate gland.  It  secretes  a  mucous  fluid  which  looks 
much  like,  and  is  about  the  consistency  of  the  white 
of  an  egg.  Close  to  this  gland,  and  almost  a  part  of 
it,  is  a  sack,  or  pocket,  into  which  the  mucous  secre- 
tion from  the  prostate  gland  is  poured,  and  where  it 
is  kept,  ready  for  use,  in  performing  its  part  of  the 
germinal  act. 

Now  it  is  the  business  of  this  mucous  fluid,  which 
comes  from  the  prostate  gland,  to  form  a  "carrying 
medium"  for  the  spermatozoa  which  originate  in  the 
testicles.  There  are  small  ducts  leading  from  the 
testicles  into  the  pocket  which  contains  the  prostate 
fluid.  These  are  known  as  the  seminal  ducts,  and 
through  them  the  spermatozoa  pass  from  the  testicles 
into  the  prostate  pocket.  Here  they  mingle  with 
the  prostate  fluid,  in  which  they  can  move  about 
freely,  and  by  means  of  which  they  can  be  carried 
wherever  this  fluid  goes.  The  combination  of  prostate 
fluid  and  spermatozoa  is  called  "semen." 

Seen  under  a  microscope,  a  single  drop  of  semen 
reveals  a   multitude   of   spermatozoa   swimming   about 


Sane  Sex  Living  49 

in  the  prostate-carrying  medium.  It  is  in  this  form 
that  the  vitalizing  male  element  meets  the  female 
infertile  ovum.  The  mass  of  live  and  moving  germs 
is  poured  all  around  and  about  the  region  in  which 
the  ovum  lies  waiting  to  be  fertilized,  and  every  one 
of  them  seems  to  be  "rushing  about  like  mad"  to 
find  what  it  is  sent  to  do,  namely,  to  meet  and  ferti- 
lize the  ovum.  The  manner  of  depositing  the  semen 
where  it  can  come  in  contact  with  the  ovum  is  as 
follows : 

In  order  that  this  mingling  of  the  male  and 
female  sources  of  life  may  be  possible,  it  is  necessary 
that  there  be  a  union  of  the  male  and  female  gen- 
erative organs.  For  such  meeting,  the  penis  is  filled 
with  blood,  all  its  blood  vessels  being  distended  to 
their  utmost  capacity,  till  the  organ  becomes  stout 
and  hard,  and  several  times  its  dormant  size,  as  has 
been  already  told.  In  this  condition  it  is  able  to 
penetrate,  to  its  utmost  depths,  the  vaginal  passage 
of  the  female,  which  is  of  a  nature  to  perfectly  con- 
tain the  male  organ  in  this  enlarged  and  rigid  con- 
dition. Under  such  conditions,  the  penis  is  inserted 
into  the  widened  and  distended  vaginal  passage. 
Once  together,  a  mutual  back  and  forth,  or  partly  in 
and  out  movement,  of  the  organs  is  begun  and  carried 
on  by  the  man  and  woman,  which  action  further  en- 
larges the  parts  and  raises  them  to  a  still  higher  de- 
gree of  tension  and  excitement.  It  is  supposed  by 
some  that  this  frictional  movement  of  the  parts  de- 
velops an  electrical  current,  which  increases  in 
tension   as   the   act    is   continued ;    and    that   it   is   the 


50  Sane  Sex  Life 

mission  of  the  pubic  hair,  which  is  a  non-conductor, 
to  confine  these  currents  to  the  parts  in  contact. 

Now  there  are  two  other  glands  in  these  organs; 
one  in  the  male  and  one  in  the  female,  which  per- 
forms a  most  wonderful  function  in  this  part  of  the 
sexual  act.  These  are  the  "glans  penis"  in  the  male 
and  the  "clitoris"  in  the  female.  The  first  is  located 
at  the  ajiex  of  the  male  organ,  and  the  other  at  the 
upper-middle  and  exterior  part  of  the  vulva.  These 
glands  are  covered  with  a  most  delicate  cuticle,  and 
are  filled  with  highly  sensitive  nerves.  As  the  act 
progresses,  these  glands  become  more  and  more  sen- 
sitized, and  nervously  surcharged,  until,  as  a  climax, 
they  finally  cause  a  sort  of  nervous  explosion  of  the 
organs  involved.  This  climax  is  called  an  "orgasm" 
in  scientific  language.  Among  most  men  and  women 
it  is  spoken  of  as  "spending." 

On  the  part  of  the  man,  this  orgasm  causes  the 
semen,  which  till  this  instant  has  remained  in  the 
prostate  pocket,  to  be  suddenly  driven  out  of  this 
place  of  deposit,  and  thrown  in  jets,  and  with  spas- 
modic force,  through  the  entire  length  of  the  jjenis, 
and,  as  it  were,  shot  into  the  vaginal  passage  and 
the  uterine  cavity,  till  the  whole  region  is  literally 
deluged  with  the  life-giving  fluid.  At  the  same  time, 
the  moutli  of  the  womb  opens  wide;  and  into  it  pours, 
or  rushes,  this  "father  stuff,"  entirely  surrounding 
and  flooding  the  ovum,  if  it  be  in  the  womb.  This 
is  the  climax  of  the  sexual  act,  which  is  called 
"coitus."  a  word  which  means,  going  together. 

With     the     myriads     of     spermatozoa     swarming 


Sane  Sex  Living  51 

about  it,  if  the  vital  part  of  the  ovum  comes  in  con- 
tact with  some  one  of  them,  any  one  of  which, 
brought  into  such  contact,  will  fertilize  it,  concep- 
tion results.  The  woman  is  then  pregnant,  and  the 
period  of  gestation  is  begun. 

This  is  a  brief  description  of  the  act  of  coitus 
and  of  the  means  by  which  pregnancy  takes  place. 
It  is,  however,  only  a  small  part  of  the  story  of  the 
sex  relations  of  husbands  and  wives,  and,  be  it  said, 
a  very  small  part  of  that,  as  will  now  be  shown. 

As  has  already  been  said,  this  use  of  the  sex 
organs,  merely  to  produce  progeny,  and  so  insure  a 
continuance  of  the  race,  is  a  quality  that  mankind 
shares  with  all  the  rest  of  the  animal  kingdom.  In 
all  essentials,  so  far  as  the  material  parts  of  the 
act  are  concerned,  the  beginnings  of  the  new  life  in 
the  human  family  differ  not  a  whit  from  that  of  any 
other  mammals.  In  each  case  the  ovum  is  produced 
by  the  ovaries  of  the  female,  passes  into  the  womb, 
is  there  met  by  the  semen  from  the  male,  fertilized 
by  the  spermatozoa,  and  so  the  foetus  gets  its  start. 
This  is  the  universal  means  by  which  the  beginnings 
of  all  animal  reproductive  Hfe  takes  place. 

But  there  is  another  phase  in  the  sex  life  of  hu- 
man beings,  which  is  entirely  different  from  that  of 
all  other  animals,  and  which  must  therefore  be  consid- 
ered beyond  all  that  needs  to  be  said  regarding  the 
act  of  coitus  for  reproductive  purposes  only.  This 
we  are  now  ready  to  consider  and  study. 

Now  in  all  animals,  except  human  beings,  the  act 
of  coitus  is  only  permitted  by  the  female,   (it  would 


52  Sane  Sex  Life 

seem  is  only  possible  for  her)  when  the  ovum  is  pres- 
ent in  the  womb  and  ready  to  be  fertilized.  At  all 
other  times,  all  female  animals,  except  ivoman,  arc 
practically  sexless.  Their  sexual  organs  are  dor- 
mant, and  nothing  can  arouse  them  to  activity.  Not 
only  do  they  fail  to  show  any  desire  for  coitus,  but  if 
an  attempt  should  be  made  to  force  it  upon  them, 
they  would  resist  it  to  the  utmost  of   their  strength. 

But  when  the  ovum  is  present  in  the  womb,  these 
same  female  animals  are  beside  themselves  with  desire 
for  coitus.  They  are  then  spoken  of  as  "in  heat." 
And  until  they  are  satisfied,  by  meeting  the  male 
and  procuring  from  him  the  vitalizing  fluid  which 
will  fertilize  their  infertile  ovum ;  or,  failing  in  this, 
until  the  ovum  passes  away  from  them,  out  of  the 
womb,  they  know  no  rest.  At  such  times  they  will 
run  all  risks,  incur  all  sorts  of  danger,  do  every  pos- 
sible thing  to  secure  pregnancy.  The  thousand-and- 
one  ways  which  female  animals  use  to  make  known 
to  their  male  mates  their  sexual  desire  and  needs, 
when  in  heat,  is  a  most  interesting  and  wonderful 
story,  a  record  made  up  of  facts  which  would  be  well 
worth  any  student's  knowing.  But  as  all  such  knowl- 
edge can  readily  be  procured  from  books  which  are 
within  the  reach  of  all,  there  is  no  need  of  noting  the 
data  here. 

But  now.  in  ivoman,  all  these  tilings  are  different! 
As  a  matter  of  fact,  the  presence  of  the  ovum  in 
the  womb  of  a  normally  made  woman  makes  little, 
and,  in  many  eases,  no  difference  whatever  as  regards 
her    status    concerning    the    act    of    coitus !      That    is, 


Sane  Sex  Living  53 

women  are  never  "in  heat,"  in  the  same  sense  in 
which  other  female  animals  are.  To  be  sure,  in  some 
cases,  though  they  are  rare,  some  women  are  con- 
scious of  a  greater  desire  for  coitus  just  after  the 
ceasing  of  the  menstrual  flow ;  that  is,  when  the  ovum 
is  in  the  womb.  But  such  cases  are  so  infrequent 
that  they  may  well  be  counted  atavistic,  tliat  is,  of 
the  nature  of  a  tendency  to  return  to  a  previous 
merely  animal  condition.  For  the  most  part,  it  is 
true  of  all  normal  women  that  the  presence  of  the 
ovum  in  the  womb  makes  little  difference,  one  way 
or  another,  in  regard  to  their  desire  for,  or  aversion 
to,  the  act  of  coitus. 

Now  the  fact  of  this  remarkable  difference  in  the 
sex-status  of  women  and  the  same  quality  in  all  other 
female  animals  leads  us  to  a  great  number  of  inter- 
esting, not  to  say  startling,  conclusions,  some  of 
which  are  as  follows: 

In  the  first  place,  the  phenomenon  clearly  estab- 
lishes the  fact  that  sex  in  the  female  human  being 
differs,  pronouncedly,  from  that  of  all  other  female 
life.  For,  whereas,  among  all  females  except  woman, 
coitus  is  impossible,  except  at  certain  times  and  sea- 
sons, among  women  the  act  can  not  only  be  permit- 
ted, but  is  as  much  possible  or  desired  at  one  time 
as  any  other,  regardless  of  the  presence  or  absence 
of  the  ovum  in  the  womb.  That  is  (and  this  point 
should  be  noted  well  by  the  reader)  there  is  a  pos- 
sibility, on  the  part  of  the  female  humanity,  for 
coitus,  under  conditions  that  do  not  at  all  obtain  in 
any  other  female  animal  life. 


54  Sane  Sex  Life 

This  is  a  conclusion  which  is  of  such  far-reaching 
importance  that  its  limits  are  but  dimly  recognized, 
even  in  the  clear  thinking  of  most  married  people. 
The  fact  of  such  difference  is  known  to  them,  and 
their  practices  in  living  conform  to  the  conditions ; 
but  what  it  all  means,  they  are  entirely  ignorant  of, 
and  they  never  stop  to  think  about  it. 

And  yet,  riglit  here  is  the  very  center  and  core  of 
the  real  success  or  failure  of  married  life!  Around 
this  fact  are  grouped  all  the  troubles  that  come  to 
husbands  and  wives.  About  it  are  gathered  all  the 
joys  and  unspeakable  delights  of  the  happily  mar- 
ried— the  only  truly  married.  It  is  these  items  which 
make  a  knowledge  of  the  real  conditions  which  exist, 
regarding  this  part  of  married  life,  of  such  supreme 
importance.  If  these  conditions  could  be  rightly 
understood,  and  the  actions  of  husbands  and  wives 
could  be  brought  to  conform  to  the  laws  which  obtain 
under  them,  the  divorce  courts  would  go  out  of  busi- 
ness, their  occupation,  like  Othello's,  would  be  "gone 
indeed." 

The  first  conclusion,  then,  one  that  is  forced  upon 
the  thoughtful  mind  by  the  fact  of  this  dift'erence  in 
the  sex  possibilities  of  women  and  other  female  ani- 
mals, is,  as  already  stated,  but  which  is  here  repeated 
for  emphasis,  that  coitus,  can  be  engaged  in  by  zvomen 
when  pregnancy  is  not  its  purpose,  on  her  part ;  and 
that  this  never  occurs  in  any  other  form  of  female 
life! 

In  view  of  this  fact,  is  it  too  much  to  raise  the 
question  whether  or  not  sex  in  woman  is  designed  to 


Sane  Sex  Living  55 

fulfill  any  other  purpose  than  that  of  the  reproduc- 
tion of  the  race?  True  it  is,  that  the  only  function  of 
sex  in  all  other  females  is  merely  that  of  i)roducing 
offspring — of  perpetuating  its  kind.  Under  no  cir- 
cumstances does  it  ever  serve  any  other  end,  fulfill 
any  other  design.  There  is  no  possibility  of  its 
doing  so! 

But  one  can  help  wondering  if  it  is  not  true  that, 
with  the  existence  of  the  possibility  of  engaging  in 
coitus  at  wiU,  rather  than  at  the  bidding  of  instinct 
alone,  there  has  also  come  a  new  and  added  function 
for  the  sex-natures  that  are  capable  of  engaging  in 
such  before-unknown  experiences?  To  a  fair-minded 
person,  such  conclusion  seems  not  only  logical,  but 
irresistible !  That  is  in  view  of  this  conclusion,  it 
naturally  follows  that  sex  in  the  human  family  is 
positively  designed  to  fulfill  a  function  that  is  en- 
tirely unknown  to  all  other  forms  of  animal  life. 
And  from  this,  it  is  but  a  step  to  the  establishment 
of  the  fact  that  sex  exercise  in  the  human  family 
serves  a  purpose  other  than  that  of  reproduction! 

Now,  this  fact  established,  a  whole  world  of  new 
issues  arises  and  demands  settlement.  Among  these, 
comes  the  supreme  question :  What  is  the  nature  of 
this  new  experience  that  has  been  conferred  upon 
human  beings,  over  and  above  zvhat  is  vouchsafed  to 
any  other  form  of  animal  life.  What  purpose  can  it 
serve?  Hozv  can  it  be  properly  exercised?  What  is 
right  and  zvhat  is  wrong  under  these  nezv  possibil- 
ities? These  are  some  of  the  issues  that  force  them- 
selves upon  all  thoughtful  people,  those  who  wish  to 


56  Sane  Sex  Life 

do  right  under  any  and  all  circumstances  in  which 
they  are  placed. 

Of  course,  here  as  elsewhere,  the  unthinking,  the 
happy-go-lucky  and  the  "don't-give-a-damn,"  can 
blunder  along  in  almost  any-old-way.  But  they  can, 
and  will,  reap  only  the  reward  which  always  follows 
blundering  and  ignorance.  In  these  days  of  scientific 
clear-thinking,  we  have  come  to  understand  that 
salvation  from  sin  comes  by  the  way  of  positive 
knowledge  and  not  at  the  hands  of  either  ignorance 
or  innocence!  If  husbands  and  wives  ever  attain  to 
the  highest  conditions  of  married  life,  it  can  only 
be  after  they  know  and  practice,  what  is  right  in  all 
their  sex  relations,  both  for  reproductive  purposes 
and  in  all  other  respects!    Note  that  zuell! 

As  things  are  now,  especially  in  all  civilized  coun- 
tries, and  particularly  among  Christian  people,  this 
secondary  function  of  sex  in  the  human  family,  while 
blindly  recognized  as  a  fact,  is  none  the  less  abused, 
to  a  most  shameful  degree.  For  ages,  the  whole  sit- 
uation has  been  left  in  a  condition  of  most  deplor- 
able, not  to  say  damnable,  ignorance ;  and  no  honest 
endeavor  has  been  made  to  find  out  and  act  up  to  the 
truth  in  the  premises.  Husbands  and  wives  have 
engaged  in  coitus  ad  libitum,  utterly  regardless  of 
whether  it  was  right  or  wrong  for  them  to  do  so! 
They  have  taken  it  for  granted  that  marriage  con- 
ferred on  them  the  right  to  have  sexual  intercourse 
whenever  they  chose,  (especially  when  the  man 
chose)  and  they  have  acted  accordingly.  This  is 
especially    true    of    men,    and    the   practice   has    been 


Sane  Sex  Living  57 

carried  to  such  length  that  the  right  of  a  man  to 
engage  in  coitus  with  his  wife  has  been  established  by 
law,  and  the  wife  who  refuses  to  yield  this  "right" 
to  her  husband  can  be  divorced  by  him,  if  she  per- 
sists in  such  way  of  living!  It  is  such  a  fact  as  this 
which  caused  Mr.  Bernard  Shaw  to  write:  "Mar- 
riage is  the  most  licentious  institution  in  all  the 
world."  And  he  might  rightfully  have  added  "it  is 
also  the  most  brutal,"  though  it  is  an  insult  to  the 
brute  to  say  it  that  way,  for  brutes  are  never  guilty 
of  coitus  under  compulsion.  But  a  husband  can 
force  his  zmfc  to  submit  to  his  sexual  embraces,  and 
she  has  no  legal  right  to  say  him  nay!  This  doesn't 
seem  quite  right,  does  it? 

Now  there  are  several  different  ways  of  viewing 
this  new  and  added  sexual  possibility  in  the  human 
family,  namely,  the  act  of  coitus  for  other  than  re- 
productive purposes.  The  Catholic  church  has 
always  counted  it  as  a  sin.  Popes  have  issued  edicts 
regarding  it,  and  conclaves  of  Bishops  have  discussed 
it  and  passed  resolutions  regarding  it.  There  has 
always  been  a  difference  of  opinion  upon  the  subject 
amongst  these  dignitaries  and  authorities,  but  they 
all  agree  in  one  respect,  namely,  that  it  is  a  sin. 
The  only  point  of  difference  has  been  as  to  the 
extent  or  enormity  of  the  sin!  By  some  it  has  been 
reckoned  as  a  "deadly  sin,"  punishable  by  eternal 
hell  fire,  if  not  duly  absolved  before  death;  by  others 
it  has  been  held  to  be  only  a  "venial  sin,"  one  that 
must  always  be  confessed  to  the  priest  when  coitus  is 
engaged  in,  and  which  can  be  pardoned  by  the  prac- 


58  Sane  Sex  Life 

tice  of  due  penance.    But,  akvays,  it  was  a  sin! 

The  Protestant  church  has  never  issued  edicts 
regarding  this  matter,  but,  for  the  most  part,  it  has 
tacitly  held  to  the  Catholic  teaching  in  theory,  while 
universally  practicing  the  reverse,  in  actual  married 
life.  Protestants  have  looked  upon  it  as  a  necessity, 
but  have  taught  that  it  was  regrettable  that  such 
was  the  case.  They  have  held,  with  Paul,  that,  "it  is 
better  to  marry  than  to  burn."  And  most  of  them 
have  chosen  the  marriage  horn  of  the  dilemma. 

Among  some  European  nations,  attempts  have 
been  made  to  make  it  impossible  for  husbands  and 
wives  to  cohabit  except  for  reproductive  purposes. 
In  one  of  these  nations,  padlocks  were  used  for  pre- 
venting the  act.  A  slit  was  made  through  the  fore- 
skin of  the  penis,  and  through  this  slit  the  ring  of 
a  padlock  was  passed,  much  as  an  ear-ring  is  passed 
through  the  lobe  of  a  lady's  ear.  The  padlock  was 
made  so  large  that  it  could  not  be  introduced  into 
the  vaginal  passage,  and  so  coitus  was  impossible 
when  it  was  worn.  It  could  only  be  removed  by 
the  magistrate  into  whose  hands  the  regulation  of 
this  part  of  the  citizens'  life  was  given.  Specimens  of 
these  padlocks  are  still  to  be  seen  in  European 
museums. 

Now  the  terribly  immoral  thing  in  all  this  way  of 
living  has  always  been  the  fact  that  it  compelled 
people  to  continually  violate  their  consciences,  by 
pretending  to  believe  one  thing  and  constantly  prac- 
ticing the  reverse  of  their  proclaimed  belief.  That 
is,  it  lured  them  into  living  a  continual  lie,  and  such 


Sane  Sex  Living  59 

can  never  be  for  the  good  of  the  soul!  It  goes  with- 
out saying  that  the  sooner  this  abominable  way  of 
living  can  be  ended,  the  better  it  will  be  for  all 
parties  concerned — the  individuals  who  are  the  vic- 
tims of  such  falsehood,  and  the  communities  of  which 
they  form  a  part. 

From  all  this  it  follows  that  the  first  thing  every 
new  husband  and  wife  ought  to  do  is  to  settle  clearly 
in  their  own  minds  the  issue  as  to  zvhether  it  is  right 
or  zvrong  for  them  to  engage  in  coitus  for  any  other 
than  procreative  purposes.  Having  settled  this 
point,  one  way  or  the  other,  then  let  them  conscien- 
tiously act  accordingly.  For  only  so  can  they  live 
righteous  lives! 

In  settling  this  point,  so  far  as  available  author- 
ities for  the  young  people  to  study  and  consider  are 
concerned,  these  are  all  against  coitus  except  for 
begetting  of  ofif-spring.  All  the  "purity"  writers 
and  Purity  Societies  are  ranged  together  on  the 
negative  side.  Likewise  are  all  the  books  of  "advice 
to  young  wives  and  husbands,"  especially  those  ad- 
dressed to  young  wives. 

Now  all  these  "authorities"  base  their  whole  ar- 
gument upon  the  purely  animal  facts  in  the  premises. 
Probably  a  certain  Dr.  C.  is  more  largely  read  for 
information  on  these  matters  than  any  other  author, 
especially  among  young  women.  He  has  written  a 
large,  and  from  the  view-point  he  takes,  a  very 
plausible  volume ;  and  it  is  very  extensively  adver- 
tised, especially  in  papers  which  young  women  read. 
The  result  is  that  it  has  come  to  be  almost  a  stand- 


60  Sane  Sex  Life 

ard  authority  in  these  affairs. 

Dr.  C.'s  argument  is,  baldly,  as  follows: — (a) 
Among  animals,  the  universal  practice  is  a  single  act 
of  coitus  for  each  begetting  of  off-spring.  (b) 
Human  beings  are  animals,  (c)  Therefore,  human 
beings  should  only  engage  in  coitus  for  reproductive 
purposes. 

To  this  syllogism  he  heads  a  corollary,  v^^hich  is, 
that,  therefore,  all  sexual  commerce  in  the  human 
family,  for  any  other  than  reproductive  purposes, 
is  ivroiig.  These  are  his  texts,  so  to  speak,  and 
through  several  hundred  pages  he  preaches,  don't, 
don't,  don't,  sermons.  The  entire  volume  is  one  of 
denial  and  prohibition.  He  proclaims  the  act,  even 
for  the  one  purpose  he  allows  to  be  right,  as  low, 
and  in  itself  degrading,  to  be  engaged  in  only  after 
"prayer  and  fasting"  and  "mortifying  the  flesh" 
and  even  then,  in  the  most  passionless,  and  only 
done-because-it-has-to-be  manner ;  as  a  mere  matter 
of  duty ;  to  be  permitted  by  sufferance ;  joyless, 
disgusting  in  itself;  a  something  to  be  avoided,  even 
in  thought,  other  than  it  is  a  necessity  for  the  con- 
tinuance of  the  race. 

It  is  from  such  data  as  this  that  thousands  of 
"innocent"  brides  annually  make  up  their  minds  as 
to  what  is  right  or  ivrong  in  the  matter  of  sexual 
intercourse. 

In  doing  this,  most  of  these  young  women  are 
perfectly  conscientious,  and  want  to  do  the  right 
thing,  and  there  are  two  items  in  the  count  that 
naturally   lead    them    to   accept    Dr.    C.'s   teachings   as 


Sane  Sex  Living  61 

correct.  The  first  is,  that  it  coincides  with  all  they 
have  ever  heard  about  such  matters ;  the  second,  that 
the  Doctor  flavors  all  his  text  with  a  religious  qual- 
ity, of  the  alleged  most  sacred  sort.  He  instances 
saintly  women  who  have  lived  the  most  ascetic  lives, 
and  whose  religious  status  was  achieved  because,  and 
by  means  of,  their  perfect  chastity.  In  fact,  this 
word  "chastity"  which  he  translates  as  entire  re- 
nunciation of  the  whole  sex  nature)  becomes  the  test 
word  of  his  whole  treatise,  and  its  practice  is  upheld 
as  the  true  road  to  all  goodness  and  virtue. 

Now,  nearly  all  well-bred  and  cultivated  young 
women  are  naturally  religious  (and  not  a  word  should 
be  said  against  their  being  so)  and  they  are  anxious 
to  time  their  lives  to  everything  that  the  highest 
religious  demands  prescribe.  It  is,  therefore,  most 
natural  that,  being  thus  taught  by  an  authority  for 
which  they  have  the  highest  regard,  they  enter 
marriage  with  the  fixed  opinion  in  accordance  with 
their  teaching.     How  could  it  be  otherwise? 

On  the  other  hand,  a  few  young  husbands,  indeed 
none  but  now  and  then  a  "goody-good"  (who  usually 
turns  out  to  be  the  worst  of  the  whole  lot,  in  course 
of  time),  are  willing  to  "stand  for"  any  such  theory 
much  less  to  live  any  such  life  as  this  theory  would 
impose.  These  "don't  care  what  the  book  says,"  and, 
from  the  manner  of  their  bringing  up,  from  all  they 
have  learned  or  heard  by  hearing  men  talk  about 
married  life,  (which  is  usually  of  the  most  vulgar 
sort)  they  have  come  to  the  conclusion  that  marriage 
confers  upon  the  parties  the  right  to  engage  in  sexual 


62  Sane  Sex  Life 

commerce  at  will :  and  especially,  that  the  husband 
has  the  right  to  the  body  of  his  wife  whenever  he 
chooses.  For,  indeed,  does  not  the  law  give  him  that 
right !  And  so  long  as  one  "keeps  inside  the  law" 
what  more  could  be  asked !  Yea,  verily !  What  more 
could  be  asked? 

So  it  is  that  most  brides  and  bridegrooms  go  to 
their  marriage  bed  with  the  m^ost  widely  diverse  views 
as  to  what  is  right  and  wrong  in  the  premise — as  to 
the  life  they  will  lead  in  their  new  estate.  The  young 
wife  is  for  "purity"  and  "chastity."  The  young  hus- 
band, driven  by  a  passion  which  he  has  long  held  in 
thrall,  in  the  belief  that  he  can  now  give  the  fullest 
vent  to  it,  when  he  has  got  where  such  relief  is  pos- 
sible, is  like  an  excited  hound  when  it  seizes  its  prey, 
which  he  fully  believes  he  has  the  right  to  deal  with 
as  he  pleases !  What  wonder  that,  in  view  of  all  these 
circumstances,  the  most  extensive  observer  of  mar- 
riage-bed phenomena  should  write:  "As  a  matter  of 
fact,  nine  young  husbands  in  ten  practically  rape 
their  brides  at  their  first  sexual  meeting."  Could  any- 
thing be  more  horrible,  or  criminally  wicked?  And  it 
is  all  so  needless !  It  is  all  the  result  of  ignorance, 
of  "innocence,"  and  the  worst  of  false  teaching.  The 
pity  of  it ! 

True,  these  unfortunate  conditions  are  often 
modified  by  "mother  nature,"  who  inspires  the  bride 
with  curiosity,  which,  in  a  measure,  controls  her  in 
spite  of  her  false  teachings,  and  with  passion,  which, 
to  a  degree,  will  assert  itself  over  and  above  all  false 
modesty,  her  religious  scruples  and  her  fear  of  preg- 


Sane  Sex  Living  63 

nancy ;  and  so  she  may  come  through  the  ordeal  of 
introduction  to  the  act  of  coitus  in  a  fairly  sane 
condition  of  mind,  even  though  she  may  have  prac- 
tically been  raped!  But,  too  often,  the  result  of  such 
first  contact  is  a  shock  to  the  bride  from  which  she 
may  not  recover  during  all  the  subsequent  years  of 
married  life!  And  "here  is  where  the  trouble  lies," 
for  untold  thousands  of  married  men  and  women,  all 
over  the  civilized  world,  to-day.  And  it  might  all  be 
so  different !  It  ought  in  every  case,  to  be  all  so  dif- 
ferent !  But  if  it  ever  does  become  different,  knowl- 
edge has  got  to  take  the  place  of  "innocence"  on  the 
part  of  the  bride,  and  of  ignorance  on  the  part  of  the 
bridegroom,  both  of  whom  must  be  taught  to  "Know 
what  they  are  about"  before  they  engage  in  the  sex- 
ual act,  and  be  able  to  meet  each  other  sanely,  right- 
eously, lovingly,  because  they  both  desire  what  each 
has  to  give  to  the  other ;  in  a  way  in  which  neither 
claims  any  rights,  or  makes  any  demands  of  the 
other — in  a  word,  in  perfect  concord  of  agreement 
and  action,  of  which  mutual  love  is  the  inspirer,  and 
definite  knozvlcdgc  the  directive  agent. 

Such  a  first  meeting  of  bride  and  bridegroom  will 
be  no  raping  affair.  There  will  be  no  shock  in  it,  no 
dread,  no  shame  or  thought  of  shame ;  but  as  per- 
fectly as  two  drops  of  water  flow  together  and  be- 
come one,  the  bodies  and  souls  of  the  parties  to  the 
act  will  mingle  in  a  unity  the  most  perfect  and  bliss- 
ful that  can  ever  be  experienced  by  human  beings  in 
this  world.  This  is  no  dream !  It  is  a  most  blessed 
reality,  which  all  normally  made  husbands  and  wives 


64  Sane  Sex  Life 

can  attain  to,  if  only  they  are  properly  taught  and 
educated,  if  only  they  will  learn  how  to  reach  such 
bHssful  condition. 

However,  such  greatly  desired  status  is  not  to  be 
had  for  the  asking  merely.  Instinct  can  never  bring 
it  about;  "innocence"  will  never  yield  such  a  result ; 
and  force,  or  the  declaration  of  a  "right"  in  the 
premises  will  forever  banish  it  to  the  realm  of  the 
never-to-be-realized.  It  can  only  come  as  a  result 
of  clear-headed  thinking,  scientific  investigation, 
honest  study,  wise  and  righteous  action  under  the 
given  conditions ;  and,  above  all,  a  love,  each  for  the 
other,  that  knozvs  no  bounds.  All  these  things  must 
obtain,  on  the  part  of  both  parties  concerned,  or  the 
desired  results  can  never  be  attained. 

Having  said  which,  here  shall  follow  some  sug- 
gestions as  to  how  such  estate  may  be  reached  by 
the  readers  of  these  pages. 

But  first,  let  us  finish  Dr.  C,  and  all  of  his  tribe 
— banish  them  from  all  our  reckoning  in  these  mat- 
ters, forever. 

As  already  shown,  this  argument  has  not  a  leg  to 
stand  on.  These  writers  treat  the  whole  situation  as 
though  men  and  women  were  mere  animals!  Men  and 
women  are  far  more  than  mere  animals,  and  God 
hath  made  them  so!  And  for  these  reasons  we  will 
have  respect  for  men  and  women  as  God  has  made 
them,  rather  than  as  Dr.  C.  and  the  "purity  leagues" 
say  God  should  have  made  them ! 

As  a  matter  of  fact,  the  secondary  function  of 
sex  in  the  human  family  is  something  far  above  mere 


Sane  Sex  Living  65 

animality ;  it  is  something  that  mere  animals  know 
nothing  about,  that  they  can  never  experience,  or  in 
any  way  attain  to,  and  these  fundamental  differences 
in  the  premises  remove  the  whole  issue  from  the  realm 
of  comparison  with  any  forms  or  functions  of  mere 
animal  life.  As  well  reason  that  animals  never  eat 
cooked  food,  and  so  men  ought  never  to  eat  cooked 
food  (and  there  are  some  people  who  do  so  reason, 
strange  to  say)  or  that  animals  do  not  wear  clothes, 
and  so  men  ought  not  to  wear  clothes — as  well  make 
these,  or  a  score  more  of  comparisons,  between  the 
human  race  and  mere  animals,  as  to  try  to  compare 
them  in  the  item  of  their  sex  functions. 

In  only  the  single  fact  that,  on  the  physical  plane 
merely,  coitus  for  the  purpose  of  procreation  is  com- 
mon to  all  animal  life,  mankind  included,  is  there  a 
point  of  comparison  between  humanity  and  the  brute 
creation.  Beyond  that  point  there  is  nothing  com- 
parable betzveen  the  two!  As  well  say  that  because 
beasts  can  hear,  therefore  they  can  comprehend  and 
enjoy  a  Beethoven  Sonata,  or  because  they  have  eyes 
they  can  delight  in  a  picture  by  Corot ! 

This  is  only  another  way  of  saying  that  sex  has 
functions  and  uses  in  the  human  family  that  are 
entirely  apart  from  the  possibilities  of  all  other  ani- 
mal life — functions  as  much  above  mere  animality  as 
music  is  above  mere  physical  hearing,  as  painting 
above  mere  physical  sight. 

These  facts  forever  upset  and  overthrow  all  the 
theories  of  Dr.  C.  and  Co.,  they  entirely  eliminate 
the  whole  bunch  from  any  part  or  lot  in  the  issue  on 


66  Sane  Sex  Life 

which  they  have  essayed  to  speak  with  such  author- 
ity, but  whose  main  point,  whose  essential  elements 
they  have  entirely  misunderstood,  and  hence  have 
treated  in  a  way  that  is  wholly  at  variance  with  the 
truth  in  the  premises,  and  it  is  the  truth  that  we  are 
looking  for. 

Once  more  (for  it  is  well  to  go  to  the  bottom  of 
this  matter  while  we  are  about  it)  the  honest  truth 
is  that  it  is  the  universal  practice  of  the  human  race 
for  men  and  zvomcn  to  cohabit  for  other  purposes 
than  reproduction,  and  it  has  always  been  so,  since 
men  and  women  were  men  and  women !  It  is  true 
among  the  most  savage  and  barbarous  tribes  of  the 
earth,  and  it  is  more  emphatically  true  of  the  highly 
civilized  people  in  all  lands  and  climes.  And  is  it 
reasonable  to  suppose  that  such  a  universal  phe- 
nomenon should  not  have  been  intended  to  be  as  it  is ! 
As  well  say  that  appetite  for  food  is  a  mistake,  one 
that  ought  to  be  eliminated ! 

Again,  the  experiences  of  men  and  women,  all 
over  the  world,  prove  that,  where  this  act  is  engaged 
in  properly,  according  to  the  laws  that  obtain  in  the 
premises,  it  conduces  to  the  highest  physical,  mental, 
and  spiritual  well-being  of  the  parties  concerned. 
Indeed,  it  is  beyond  doubt  true  that  the  men  and 
women  who  have  never  known  this  most  perfect  of  all 
human  experiences,  have  never  reached  the  summit  of 
human  attainment,  have  never  arrived  at  the  per- 
fection of  manhood  and  womanhood.  Length  of  life, 
health  of  the  highest  sort,  and  happiness,  the  most 
delectable — all    come,    these   and    more,    to   men    and 


Sane  Sex  Living  67 

women  by  this   route,  if  it  is  rightly   traveled.     Hell 
and  damnation  result  if  that  road  is  wrongly  trod ! 

And   that's   what   makes   the  manner   of    traveling 
it  so  important. 


VI 


THE   ACT  OF   COITUS 


STRICTLY  speaking,  the  act  of  coitus  should 
be  considered  as  composed  of  four  parts,  or 
acts,  of  one  common  play,  or  drama.  Not  that  there 
is  a  sharp  line  of  demarcation  between  each  act  or 
part,  for  the  four  really  blend  into  oyie  composite 
whole,  when  taken  together,  seriatim ;  but  there  are 
four  phases  of  the  act  which  may  well  be  studied 
separately,  in  making  a  detailed  review  of  a  sexual 
meeting  of  a  man  and  a  woman. 

These  four  parts  are:  first,  the  preparation  for 
the  act ;  second,  the  union  of  the  organs ;  third,  the 
motion  of  the  organs ;  fourth,  the  orgasm. 

In  what  immediately  follows,  these  four  stages  of 
the  act  of  coitus  will  be  studied  and  traced  in  detail, 
with  the  utmost  care,  in  the  hope  that  such  pursuit 
may  result  in  the  best  possible  good  to  the  student. 

Regarding  the  first  part  of  the  act,  let  it  be  said 
that  here,  above  all  other  situations  in  the  world 
"haste  makes  zcaste."  Put  that  do2vn  as  the  most 
fundamental  fact  in  this  ivhole  affair!  Right  here 
is  where  ninety-nine  one-hundredths  of  all  the 
troubles  of  married  life  begin!  And  the  fault,  right 
here,  is  usually  (though  not  always)  with  the  hus- 
band !     But  he  doesn't  mean  to  be  bad.     Not  once  in 

68 


Sane  Sex  Living  69 

a  thousand  times  does  he  deHberately  purpose  to  do 
wrong.  He  is  simply  the  victim  of  undirected  and 
ungoverned  passion,  and  of  an  ignorance  which  re- 
sults in  stupid  blundering,  or  carelessness,  or 
thoughtlessness.  What  such  a  husband  practically 
does  is  to  rush  blindly  and  furiously  along  a  way  he 
knows  nothing  of,  but  which  he  has  been  led  to 
think  he  has  a  right  to  travel  when  and  how  he  will. 
The  ordinary  figure  of  a  "bull  in  a  china  shop"  can 
but  faintly  describe  the  smashing  and  grinding  to 
powder  of  the  most  delicate  situation  that  can  occur 
in  all  human  experiences,  that  result  from  such  ac- 
tion as  this.  Ideals  that  have  touched  heaven  are 
tumbled  from  their  lofty  places  and  ruthlessly 
crushed  to  atoms ;  hopes  that  were  beyond  the 
power  of  words  to  express  go  out  in  despair ;  dreams 
become  a  hideous  nightmare ;  and  love,  which  was 
as  pure  as  crystal  waters,  is  muddied,  befouled,  and 
made  into  a  cesspool !  And  all  this  because  of  ignor- 
ance or  careless  hurrying,  of  making  haste  where 
the  utmost  of  time,  caution  and  intelligent  care 
should  have  obtained. 

As  has  already  been  explained,  when  the  act  of 
coitus  is  to  be  engaged  in,  the  sex  organs  of  both 
the  man  and  the  woman  undergo  great  changes. 
Blood  rushes  to  all  these  parts,  in  copious  quantities, 
till  they  become  gorged.  The  result  is  that  the  penis 
is  enlarged  to  several  times  its  dormant  size,  and  the 
vulva  and  vagina  should,  and  will,  under  right  con- 
ditions, undergo  similar  changes  and  transforma- 
tion. 


70  Sane  Sex  Life 

But  there  is  usually  a  great  difference  in  the 
length  of  time  it  takes  for  these  changes  to  take 
place  in  men  and  women.  On  the  part  of  the  man, 
as  soon  as  his  passion  is  aroused  to  any  considerable 
extent,  the  penis  at  once  makes  itself  ready  for 
action.  It  "tumesces,"  or  swells  itself  hard,  almost 
instantly ;  and,  so  far  as  its  mere  physical  stoutness 
is  concerned,  is  as  ready  to  enter  the  vagina  then 
as  ever,  even  if  it  has  to  force  itself  in. 

On  the  other  hand,  the  tumescence  of  the  parts 
in  women  is  usually,  (especially  as  girls  are  reared) 
not  infrequently,  a  matter  of  considerable  time,  not 
infrequently  several  minutes,  and  now  and  then,  of 
half-an-hour  or  more!  This  is  not  always  so,  for  in 
some  very  passionate  women  they  are  ready  for 
action  almost  instantly.  Indeed,  there  are  some 
women  whose  sex  organs  tumesce  if  they  (the  wo- 
men) even  touch  a  man — any  man — and  occasion- 
ally a  case  occurs  where  a  woman  will  experience 
an  orgasm  if  her  clothing  brushes  against  a  man! 
Such  cases  are,  of  course,  abnormal.  But,  for  the 
most  part,  it  is  true  that  women  are  much  slozver  in 
making  ready  for  the  sexual  act  than  men  are. 

Again,  as  the  organs  become  ready  for  the  act, 
nature  has  provided  a  most  wonderful  means  for 
bringing  about  their  easy  and  hapjiy  union.  Both 
the  male  and  female  organs  secrete  and  emit,  or  pour 
out,  a  sort  of  lubricating  fluid  which  covers  and 
sometimes  almost  floods  the  parts.  This  is  a  clear 
and  limpid  substance,  that  looks  much  like  the  white 
of  an  Qgg,  and  is  much  like  the  saliva  that  is  secreted 


Sane  Sex  Living  71 

in  the  mouth,  only  it  is  a  thicker  substance.  Chemi- 
cally, it  is  almost  identical  with  saliva.  That  gen- 
erated by  the  man  is  called  "prostatic  flow ;"  that 
produced  by  the  woman  "pre-coital  secretion." 

Now,  if  time  is  given  for  this  fluid  to  be  secreted 
and  exuded,  all  the  parts  become  covered  or  satu- 
rated with  it,  and  they  are  admirably  equipped  for 
easy  union.  The  glans  penis  is  then  covered  with  the 
.slippery  fluid,  and  the  vulva  and  all  the  walls  of  the 
vagina  are  laved  with  the  substance.  At  the  same 
time,  the  vaginal  walls  have  widened  and  grown  soft, 
and  all  the  parts  of  the  vulva  (which  are  yet  to  be 
named  and  described  in  detail)  are  in  like  condi- 
tion. The  result  is  that,  though  the  penis  be  what 
might  at  first  seem  of  such  size  as  to  make  its 
entrance  into  the  vagina  impossible,  as  a  matter  of 
fact,  such  entrance  is  perfectly  easy,  when  the  parts 
are  fully  ready  to  be  joined.  But  not  before  or 
otherwise. 

So  here  is  where  the  trouble  comes.  If  the  hus- 
band is  in  haste,  if  he  does  not  wait  for  the  wife  to 
become  ready  to  meet  him ;  if  he  forces  his  large, 
hard  penis  into  the  vagina  before  either  is  fully 
ready  for  such  union — when  there  is  no  prostatic 
fluid  on  its  glans,  and  the  vagina  is  shrunken  and  its 
walls  are  dry — if  coitus  is  engaged  in  in  this  way,  it 
is  perfectly  easy  to  see  that  only  disaster  can  result! 
The  woman  is  hurt,  sometimes  most  cruelly,  and  the 
man  in  reality  gets  only  a  beastly  gratification  from 
the  act.  Of  all  bad  things  in  all  the  world,  such  man- 
ner of  coition  is  the  worst! 


72  Sane  Sex  Life 

And  so,  in  this  first  part  of  the  act,  the  one  fore- 
most thought  to  remember  and  observe  is,  take 
plenty  of  time! 

There  is  another  reason  why,  on  the  part  of 
woman,  this  time  should  be  extended,  especially  when 
she  is  a  bride  and  inexperienced  in  these  matters,  and 
that  is,  that  her  "innocence,"  and  all  her  education, 
make  her  feel  that  she  is  doing  wrong,  or  at  least 
permitting  a  wrong  thing  to  be  done,  and  this  holds 
back  the  proper  growth  of  her  passion,  hinders  the 
tumescence  of  her  sex  organs,  delays  the  flow  of 
the  precoital  secretion,  and  so  keeps  her  from  be- 
coming properly  prepared  for  her  share  of  the  mu- 
tual act. 

Again,  her  fear  of  pregnancy  may  still  further 
retard  her  coming  into  a  proper  condition.  Indeed, 
this  last  is  the  almost  common  cause  for  her  failing 
to  be  in  readiness  for  meeting  her  husband.  All  of 
which  items  must  be  taken  into  account  by  both  hus- 
band and  wife,  and  intelligently,  lovingly  dealt  with, 
if  the  best  results  for  both  parties  are  attained. 

As  regards  the  item  of  possible  pregnancy,  spe- 
cial note  will  be  made  of  this  feature  later  on.  It  is 
here  placed  in  abeyance  for  the  time  being,  because 
its  consideration  can  be  better  provided  for  after 
some  other  points  have  been  studied. 

Now  the  one  easily  understood  (and  as  easily 
practiced  as  understood)  direction  as  to  what  to 
do  by  way  of  preparation  for  the  act  of  coitus  is: 
do  as  lovers  do  zvhen  they  are  "courting."  And 
everybody  knows  what  that  is !     And  note  this — that 


Sane  Sex  Living  73 

nobody  ever  hurries  when  they  are  courting!  They 
delay,  they  protract,  they  dilly-dally,  they  "fool 
around,"  they  pet  each  other  in  all  sorts  of  possible 
and  impossible  ways.  They  kiss  each  other — "long 
and  passionate  kisses,  they  again  and  again  give  and 
receive" — they  hug  each  other,  nestle  into  each 
other's  arms — in  a  word,  they  "play  together"  in  a 
thousand-and-one  ways  which  the  "goody-goods" 
declare  to  be  wrong,  and  the  cold-blooded  call  non- 
sense or  foolishness,  but  which  all  lovers  know  is  an 
unspeakable  delight  ("unspeakable"  is  the  word,  for 
who  wants  to  talk  when  these  blissful  experiences  are 
going  on  ! ) . 

Now,  these  things,  and  the  likes  of  these  things,  in 
limitless  supply,  should  always  precede  the  act  of 
coitus.  It  is  right  there  that  this  part  of  the  first 
act  of  this  wonderful  four-act  drama  or  play  should 
be  wrought  out,  and  if  they  are  omitted  or  disre- 
garded, the  play  will  end  in  tragedy,  ztnth  all  the 
leading  actors  left  dead  upon  the  stage! 

Now  the  chief,  if  not  the  only  reason  why  this 
part  of  the  supreme  act  of  married  life  is  not  always 
preluded  in  this  way  is  found  in  the  false  view  of 
what  the  marriage  ceremony  means,  and  a  wrong  im- 
pression as  to  what  it  confers  upon  the  parties  who 
say  "yes"  to  its  prescriptions.  That  is,  the  common 
idea  is,  that  the  taking  of  "marriage  vows"  bestows 
certain  rights  and  imposes  certain  duties  upon  the 
new  husband  and  wife.  It  is  thought  that  such  cere- 
mony makes  certain  acts  right  which  would  other- 
wise be   wrong,   and   that   it   establishes   the   right   to 


74  Sane  Sex  Life 

engage  in  such  acts,  ztnth  or  mithout  any  further  con- 
sultation or  consent  in  the  premises.  It  makes  love 
a  matter  of  contract,  a  something  bound  by  promise 
and  pledge  rather  than  a  free  and  unfettered  effusion 
of  the  soul. 

The  resuh  of  this  is  that,  whereas,  before  the 
marriage  ceremony  both  the  man  and  woman  take 
the  utmost  care  to  do  everything  in  their  power  to 
increase,  magnify,  and  retain  each  other's  love,  after 
they  have  been  granted  a  "license,"  and  the  minister 
has  put  their  hands  together  and  prayed  over  them 
— after  this,  they  both  think  they  have  a  "cinch"  on 
each  other,  that  they  are  bound  together  by  a  bond 
that  cannot  be  broken,  a  tie  so  strong  that  it  will 
need  no  further  looking  after,  but  which  will  "stay 
put"  of  its  own  accord,  and  which  may  therefore  be 
let  to  shift  for  itself  from  the  hour  of  its  pronounce- 
ment !  Nothing  could  be  further  from  the  truth  than 
this  is.  And  yet  it  is  a  common  feeling  and  belief 
among  young  married  people ! 

Nor  is  it  any  wonder  that  this  should  be  so.  The 
very  form  of  the  marriage  ceremony  and  contract 
tends  to  make  it  so.  The  fact  that  marriage  orig- 
inated as  a  form  of  slavery,  and  that  much  of  its 
original  status  yet  remains — all  these  things  tend  to 
establish  these  wrong  ideas  regarding  the  estate,  in 
the  minds  of  the  parties  to  it. 

Nor  are  the  evils  that  come  from  such  wrong  view 
of  marriage  all  confined  to  one  side  of  the  house. 
On  the  contrary,  they  arc  about  evenly  divided  be- 
tween husbands  and  wives,  witness  a  few  illustrations, 


Sane  Sex  Lhnng  75 

as  follows : 

A  couple  had  been  married  about  a  year.  They 
had  no  children,  nor  were  there  prospects  of  any. 
The  husband  was  beginning  to  spend  his  evenings 
away  from  home,  leaving  his  wife  alone.  One  evening, 
as  he  was  making  ready  to  go  out  his  wife  said: 
"What  makes  you  go  out  evenings  now,  and  leave 
me  alone !  You  didn't  use  to  do  it !"  And  the  hus- 
band replied : 

"Why,  you  don't  do  anything  to  make  it  interest- 
ing for  me  now !  You  used  to  put  on  your  prettiest 
clothes  when  I  came  to  see  you,  fixed  up  your  hair 
bewitchingly,  had  a  smile  for  me  that  wouldn't  come 
ofT,  would  sing  for  me,  read  to  me,  sit  on  my  lap  and 
pet  me  and  kiss  me,  and  now  you  never  do  anything 
of  the  kind."  And  before  he  could  say  more,  the 
wife  responded:  "Oh,  but  we  are  married  now,  and 
it's  your  duty  to  stay  zinth  me!" 

What  wonder  that  the  husband  went  out  of  the 
house,  slamming  the  door  after  him !  The  wonder  is 
that  he  ever  came  back. 

Again :  A  woman  who  was  a  graduate  of  a  famous 
Eastern  College  and  who  had  taught  for  a  number 
of  years,  who  was  from  one  of  the  "first  families" 
in  the  east,  and  was  counted  as  a  lady  of  the  highest 
culture  and  refinement,  finally  married  a  Western 
business  man.  On  their  bridal  night,  as  they  were 
retiring,  the  man  laid  his  hand  on  the  woman's  bare 
shoulder,  and  she  threw  it  off,  and  said:  "Don't  be 
disgusting!  I  married  you  because  I  was  tired  of  tak- 
ing care  of   myself,   or   of   having   my   relatives  take 


76  Sane  Sex  Life 

care  of  me.  You  are  worth  fifty  thousand  dollars,  and 
one-third  of  all  that  was  made  mine  just  as  soon 
as  the  preacher  got  through  his  closing  prayer,  and 
you  can't  help  it !  That's  the  truth,  and  we  are  mar- 
ried, and  you  can  make  the  best  of  it !" 

These  are  both  truthful  tales,  nor  are  they  the 
only  ones  of  the  sort  that  could  be  told. 

On  the  other  hand,  these  are  matched  with  acts 
of  ignorant  and  careless  young  husbands,  who  do 
dastardly  deeds  to  their  brides  because  they  think 
the  law  and  the  contract  give  them  the  right !  There 
is  no  need  to  go  into  details.  The  whole  evil  is  re- 
vealed by  the  words  of  the  woman  just  quoted:  ''Oh, 
but  zve  are  married  now." 

These  records,  and  all  like  them,  lead  to  the  re- 
mark that  marriage  confers  no  rights,  to  either  the 
bride  or  the  bridegroom,  in  the  highest  meaning  of 
the  zvord.  So  far  as  its  outward  and  formal  observ- 
ance is  concerned,  marriage  is  merely  a  sort  of  pro- 
tection for  society  which  has  grown  up  through  the 
years,  and  which  is  probably  for  the  best,  for  the 
present,  things  being  as  they  are.  But  it  should  be 
well  understood  that  it  can  never  lead  to  true  hap- 
piness if  it  is  viewed  and  utilized  merely  on  its  legal 
and  formal  side.  True  marriage  is  based  on  mutual 
love;  and  mutual  love  can  never  be  traded  upon,  or 
made  an  item,  of  formal  agreement  and  contract. 
Peo])le  may  contract  to  live  together  and  to  cohabit, 
and  they  may  faithfully  carry  out  their  agreements; 
but  this  is  not  marriage!  It  is  simply  legalised  pros- 
titution, bargain  and  sale,  for  a  consideration.     It  is 


Sane  Sex  Living  77 

blasphemy  to  call  it  by  the  sacred  name  of  marriage! 
Truly  does  Tennyson  say :  "Free  love  will  not  be 
bound."  Indeed  it  cannot  be !  It  must  remain  forever 
free  if  it  stays  at  all.  And  if  the  parties  to  it  try 
to  bind  it,  the  more  chains,  fastenings,  pledges  and 
agreements  they  put  upon  it,  the  sooner  and  quicker 
will  it  escape  from  all  its  holdings  and  fly  away  and 
stay  away! 

And  so,  to  come  back  to  where  we  left  off  (for 
we  said  there  should  be  no  hurrying  or  haste  here) 
let  married  people  understand  that  the  key  to  mar- 
ried happiness  is  to  keep  on  "courting"  each  other. 
Indeed,  to  make  courting  continually  grow  to  more 
and  more.  During  the  whole  extent  of  married  life, 
never  neglect,  much  less  forget  to  be  lovers,  and  great 
shall  be  your  reward.  Don't  ask  how  to  do  this ! 
You  know  how,  well  enough.     Do  it ! 

And  be  careful  not  to  do  anything  that  a  careful 
lover  ought  not  to  do !  This  direction  should  be 
heeded  by  both  husband  and  wife.  Make  yourself 
beautiful  for  your  husband.  Oh,  wife,  and  keep  your- 
self so.  As  between  the  public,  or  your  friends,  or 
society,  give  them  what  of  yourself  you  can  spare, 
after  you  have  given  to  your  lover  all  that  you  can 
bestow  upon  him,  or  he  can  wish  you  to  bestow. 
Don't  give  to  everybody  and  everything  else,  church, 
society,  work,  children,  friends,  or  what-so-ever — 
don't  give  all  of  yourself  to  these,  and  let  your  hus- 
band "take  what  there  is  left."  Don't  do  that,  as 
you     value     your     married     success     and     happiness ! 


78  Sane  Sex  Life 

Don't  say:  "Oh,  but  we  are  married  now,"  and  let 
it  go  at  that ! 

The  beautiful  and  delicate  flowers  of  married 
love  need  to  be  watched  and  tended  with  the  most 
skillful  care,  continually,  by  both  husband  and  wife. 
Treated  in  this  way,  they  will  not  only  be  fragrant 
and  lovely  through  all  the  years  of  wedded  life;  but 
as,  one  by  one,  the  blossoms  shed  their  petals  and 
change  their  forms  so  that  luscious  fruits  may  come 
in  turn — as  these  changes  take  place,  new,  more  beau- 
tiful and  more  fragrant  flowers  will  continue  to  the 
very  end  of  the  longest  married  life.  Don't  ever 
forget  this,  or  doubt  it,  as  you  hope  for  happiness  in 
the  marriage  state !  Mind  what  is  here  said,  and  act 
accordingly  all  the  time — days,  nights  and  Sundays. 

Now  if  these  truths  are  thoroughly  inculcated, 
"kicked  in"  so  firmly  and  deeply  that  they  will  never 
"jar  loose"  or  get  away,  we  will  move  on. 

So,  then,  the  first  part  of  every  act  of  coitus 
should  always  be  a  courting  act,  in  which  there 
should  be  no  haste,  but  in  which  the  parties  should 
"make  delays,"  as  John  Burroughs  says. 

And  this  should  be  added :  that,  for  married 
lovers,  courting  has  a  far  wider  range  of  possibilities 
than  it  has  for  the  unmarried.  Previous  to  marriage, 
there  are  conventionalities  and  clothes  in  the  way ! 
After  that,  neither  of  these  need  be  in  evidence,  and 
this  makes  a  lot  of  difference,  and  all  in  favor  of  the 
best  results,  if  rightly  used,  and  made  the  most  of. 
One  hardly  need  to  go  into  details  here,  (though  this 
may  be  done  later  on  in  this  writing).     If  the  lovers 


Sane  Sex  Living  79 

will  be  as  free  with  each  other  unclothed  as  clothed ; 
if  they  will  utterly  ignore  all  conventionalities,  and 
do  with  and  for  each  other  anything  and  everything 
that  their  impulses  and  inclinations  suggest,  or 
their  desires  prompt ;  if  they  will,  with  the  utuiost 
abandon  give  themselves  up  to  petting  each  other  in 
every  possible  way  that  mother  nature  has  put  with- 
in their  reach ;  if  they  will  hug  and  kiss  and  "spoon" 
and  "p^'iy  ^ith  each  other"  just  as  they  want  to  do 
— if  they  will  do  this  and  not  hurry  about  it — then, 
in  due  course,  they  will  successfully  execute  the  first 
act  of  the  great  play  they  are  performing ;  the  sex 
organs  will  become  fully  ready  for  the  union  they  are 
both  longing  for;  the  prostate  flow"  will  have  added 
to  the  erect  condition  of  the  penis ;  the  walls  of  the 
vagina  and  all  the  area  of  the  vulva  will  be  enlarged, 
soft,  flexible  and  made  smooth  and  slippery  by  a  most 
generous  supply  of  the  pre-coital  secretion"  and 
everything  will  be  in  perfect  readiness  for  the  next 
part  of  the  performance,  namely  the  union  of  the 
organs. 

And  here  it  becomes  necessary  to  say  something 
al)out  the  position  of  the  parties  in  making  such 
union.  There  are  a  large  number  of  these  possible, 
some  of  which  may  be  noted  later,  but  here,  only  the 
most  common  one  will  be  considered  (it  is  said  there 
are  more  than  forty  diflFerent  positions  possible  in 
this  act). 

The  most  common  position  is  for  the  woman  to 
lie  flat  on  her  back,  with  her  legs  spread  wide  apart, 
and  her  knees  drawn  up  so  that  the  angle  made  by 


80  Sane  Sex  Life 

the  upper  and  lower  part  of  the  leg  shall  be  less  than 
a  right  angle.  Her  head  should  not  be  too  high, 
there  should  be  no  pillow  under  it. 

Into  her  arms,  and  between  her  spread  legs  as 
she  lies  thus,  her  lover  should  come.  His  body  will 
thus  be  over  and  above  her,  and  he  should  sustain 
himself  on  Ins  elbows  and  knees,  so  that  little  or  none 
of  his  weight  may  rest  upon  her.  In  this  position, 
face  to  face  (and  it  should  be  noted  that  only  in  the 
human  family  is  this  position  of  coitus  possible! 
Among  mere  animals,  the  male  is  always  upon  the 
back  of  the  female.  They — mere  animals — can  never 
look  each  other  in  the  eye  and  kiss  each  other  during 
the  act!  This  is  another  marked  and  very  signifi- 
cant difference  between  human  beings  and  all  other 
animals  in  this  regard)  it  is  perfectly  natural  and 
easy  for  the  organs  to  go  together,  when  properly 
made  ready,  as  here-before  described.  The  woman 
should  also  place  her  heels  in  the  knee  hollows  of  her 
lover's  legs,  and  clasp  his  body  with  her  arms. 

The  entrance  of  the  penis  into  the  vagina  should 
not  be  too  abrupt,  unless  circumstances  are  perfectly 
favorable  for  such  meeting  and  it  is  the  wish  of 
the  wife  that  it  be  made  in  this  way.  It  is  only  fair 
to  say,  though,  that  such  bold  and  pronounced  en- 
trance is  often  greatly  desired  by  the  woman,  if  her 
passion  has  been  fully  aroused  at  this  stage  of  the 
act.  Such  union  is  not  infrequently  of  the  greatest 
delight  to  her,  if  everything  is  favorable  for  its  be- 
ing so  made.  But,  if  there  is  any  pain  produced  in 
her   by   the  coming  together,   the   meeting  should   be 


Sane  Sex  Living  81 

gentle  and  slow,  the  penis  working  its  way  into  the 
vagina  by  degrees,  till,  finally,  it  is  entirely  encased 
therein.  Once  thus  happily  together,  the  vagina  and 
uterine  cavity  will  still  further  expand,  till,  in  due 
order,  the  two  organs  will  be  fitted  together  perfectly, 
a  single  unit,  one,  in  the  highest  sense  of  unity. 

This  is  the  second  act  in  this  wonderful  play. 

Once  well  together,  and  the  organs  perfectly  set- 
tled and  adapted  to  each  other,  the  third  act  begins, 
namely,  the  motion  of  the  organs — the  sliding  of  the 
penis  back  and  forth,  partly  in  and  out  of  the  va- 
gina, though  this  is  not  really  the  best  way  of  de- 
scribing just  what  should  take  place.  What  should 
actually  be  done  is,  that  the  two  organs  should  en- 
gage in  this  motion,  which  is  common  to  them  both. 
They  should  mutually  slip  a  few  inches,  back  and 
forth,  each  party  to  the  ^notion  doing  a  fair  half. 

It  is  often  supposed,  by  both  an  uninitiated  hus- 
band and  an  "innocent"  wife,  that  all  the  motion 
should  originate  with  the  husband — that  he  should 
slide  his  penis  in  and  out  of  the  vagina,  while  the 
woman  should  lie  still  and  "let  him  do  it  all."  This 
is  however  a  great  mistake,  and  one  that  has  caused 
an  endless  amount  of  ill  to  untold  numbers  of  hus- 
bands and  wives.     And  for  the  following  reasons : 

In  the  position  just  described,  if  the  wife  has 
her  arms  around  her  lover's  body  and  her  heels  in 
his  knee-pockets,  while  he  supports  himself  by  his 
elbows  and  knees  over  and  above  her,  resting  none 
of  his  weight  upon  her,  it  is  perfectly  easy  for  her 
to  lift  her  hips  up  and   down,   or  sway  them   from 


82  Sane  Sex  Life 

side  to  side,  or  swing  them  in  a  circling  "round- 
and-round"  motion,  as  she  may  choose  to  do.  She 
can  thus  originate  her  half  of  the  in-and-out  motion 
— a  something  she  will  delight  to  do,  if  given  a  fair 
chance.  If,  however,  the  man  lies  heavily  upon  her, 
holding  her  down  with  the  weight  of  his  body,  the 
possibility  of  such  action  on  her  part  is  prevented, 
and  this  results  disastrously  to  both  parties.  And 
so,  in  this  part  of  the  act,  the  husband  should  take 
the  utmost  care  to  give  his  wife  the  full  and  com- 
plete freedom  to  move  her  hips  as  she  chooses,  and 
as  a  successful  climax  demands  that  she  should. 

Now  if  the  wife  be  left  free  to  move,  as  just 
described,  and  the  in-and-out  motion  proceeds  as  it 
should,  what  immediately  follows  will  vary  in  a  great 
degree.  Thus,  the  time  taken  to  reach  the  climax, 
or  last  act  of  the  performance,  may  be  a  few  sec- 
onds, or  several  minutes,  may  require  a  mere  half 
dozen  motions,  or  several  hundred!  All  depends  on 
the  intensity  of  the  passions  of  the  husband  and 
wife,  especially  the  latter,  and  their  skill  in  manipu- 
lating this  part  of  the  act. 

The  effect  of  this  motion  is  to  still  further  excite 
and  still  more  distend  all  the  organs  involved.  Nor- 
mally, the  motion  grows  faster  and  faster,  the  strokes 
becoming  as  long  as  the  length  of  the  organs  will 
possibly  permit  without  separating  them.  The  flow 
of  the  lubricating  fluid,  from  both  organs,  becomes 
more  and  more  copious,  till,  all  at  once,  the  orgasm, 
or  fourth  stage,  is  reached  ! 

It  is  difficult  to  describe  what  this  orgasm  is  like. 


Sane  Sex  Living  83 

There  is  no  bodily  sensation  that  at  all  corresponds 
to  it,  unless  it  be  a  sneeze,  and  this  is  only  like  it  in 
that  it  is  spontaneous,  and  a  sort  of  nervous  spasm 
(a  sneeze  is  sometimes  spoken  of  as  an  orgasm).  A 
sexual  orgasm  is  a  nervous  spasm,  or  a  series  of 
pulsating  nervous  explosions  which  defy  description. 
The  action  is  entirely  beyond  the  control  of  the  will, 
when  it  finally  arrives,  and  the  sensation  it  produces 
is  delectable  beyond  telling.  It  is  the  topmost  pin- 
nacle of  all  human  experiences.  For  a  husband  and 
wife  to  reach  this  climax,  at  exactly  the  same  in- 
stant, is  a  consummation  that  can  never  be  excelled 
in  human  life.  It  is  a  goal  worthy  the  endeavor  of 
all  husbands  and  wives,  to  attain  to  this  supreme 
height  of  sexual  possibilities. 

On  the  part  of  the  man,  the  orgasm  throws  the 
semen  into,  and  all  about  the  vaginal-uterine  tract. 
The  amount  of  semen  thus  discharged  at  a  single 
climax  is  about  a  tablespoonful,  enough  to  entirely 
flush  and  flood  the  area  into  which  it  is  thrown.  Its 
use  and  action  there  have  already  been  described, 
and  so  need  not  be  repeated  here. 

On  the  part  of  the  woman,  the  orgasm  causes  no 
corresponding  emission  of  fluid,  of  any  sort,  that  is 
jetted  forth  as  is  the  semen.  Yet  the  spasmodic 
action  of  the  sexual  parts,  so  far  as  nervous  explo- 
sions are  concerned,  is  exactly  like  that  of  her  part- 
ner. Palpitation  follows  palpitation,  through  all  the 
sexual  area ;  the  mouth  of  the  womb  opens  and  closes 
convulsively,  the  vagina  dilates  and  contracts  again 
and  again,  and  the  vulva  undergoes   similar  actions. 


84  Sane  Sex  Life 

The  sensations  are  all  of  the  most  delectable  nature, 
the  whole  of  the  woman's  body  being  thrilled,  over 
and  over,  again  and  again,  with  delights  inexpressi- 
ble. This,  however,  seems  to  be  the  entire  mission 
of  the  orgasm  in  woman.  //  has  nothing  ivhatever 
to  do  with  conception ;  though  many  people,  espe- 
cially young  husbands  who  know  just  a  little  about 
the  phenomenon,  believe  that  it  is  an  essential  to 
pregnancy.  But  sncJi  is  by  no  means  the  case.  All 
that  is  needed  to  bring  about  conception  in  a  woman 
is  the  presence  of  the  ovum  in  the  uterus,  and  its 
meeting  semen  there,  and  so  becoming  fertilized.  So 
far  as  becoming  pregnant  is  concerned,  the  zvonian 
need  have  no  pleasure  at  all  in  the  act  of  coitus. 
Indeed,  women  have  been  made  pregnant  by  securing 
fresh  semen  from  some  man  and  injecting  it  into 
the  vagina  with  an  ordinary  female  syringe ! 

The  false  idea,  which  largely  prevails,  and  which 
usually  takes  the  form  that  there  is  no  danger  or 
possibility  of  conception  unless  the  orgasm  is  simul- 
taneous on  the  part  of  the  man  and  %voman,  has 
caused  many  a  woman  to  become  pregnant  when  she 
thought  such  a  result  to  be  impossible,  because  she 
and  her  lover  did  not  "spend"  at  the  same  instant. 
For  the  same  reason,  many  a  young  husband  has 
impregnated  his  wife  when  he  least  expected  to  do 
so,  thinking  that  because  he  alone  experienced  the 
orgasm,  that  therefore  conception  was  impossible. 

Again,  there  are  many  married  men  and  women 
who  do  noi  know  that  it  is  possible  for  a  woman  to 
experience  an  orgasm  at  all!     The  writer  once  knew 


Sane  Sex  Living  85 

a  case  of  this  kind,  where  a  husband  and  wife,  most 
intelligent  and  well  cultivated  people,  lived  together 
for  twenty  years,  and  to  whom  were  born  six  chil- 
dren, who.  at  the  end  of  that  time  were  wholly  un- 
aware of  such  possibility !  They  afterwards  dis- 
covered it  by  accident,  as  it  were,  and  after  that  en- 
joyed its  delights  for  many  years.  There  are  some, 
yea,  many,  women  who  never  experience  this  sensa- 
tion at  all,  but  of  this  more  will  be  said  later. 

All  these  phenomena  seem  to  indicate  the  fact 
that,  so  far  as  women  are  concerned,  the  orgasm  is 
entirely  for  her  delectation  and  delight.  It  forms  no 
part  of  the  act  of  conception,  and  its  only  possible 
function,  beyond  that  of  pleasure,  is  that,  because 
of  the  exceedingly  delightful  sensations  it  produces, 
it  may  lure  women  to  engage  in  coitus  when,  but  for 
this  fact,  they  would  not  do  so,  and  that  it  thus  in- 
creases the  possibility  of  women  becoming  mothers. 
Indeed,  there  is  no  stronger  temptation  to  a  woman 
to  run  the  risk  of  becoming  pregnant  than  her  de- 
sire to  experience  an  orgasm !     But  more  of  this  later. 

As  soon  as  the  orgasm  is  over,  a  total  collapse 
of  the  husband  and  wife  takes  place.  They  are  truly 
"spent,"  a  most  expressive  word,  which  alone  can 
describe  their  condition.  On  the  part  of  the  man 
the  up-to-this-moment  stout  penis,  becomes  almost 
instantly  limp  and  shrunken,  while  all  the  female 
organs  become  quiescent.  A  most  delightful  lan- 
guor steals  over  them  ;  ever}'  nerve  and  fibre  of  the 
whole   body    relaxes ;   and   a   desire    to    fall   asleep   at 


86  Sane  Sex  Life 

once,  comes  upon  them  irresistibly.  And  the  thing 
for  them  to  do  is  to  avail  themselves  of  such  nat- 
ural impulse,  just  as  soon  as  possible.  They  should 
always  have  at  hand,  and  within  easy  reach,  a  towel, 
or  napkin,  with  which  to  care  for  the  surplus  of  the 
seminal  emission,  which,  as  soon  as  the  organs  are 
separated,  will,  in  greater  or  less  quantity,  flow  from 
the  vagina.  Some  of  the  same  fluid  will  also  re- 
main upon  tlie  penis  when  it  is  withdrawn.  The  hus- 
band should  absorb  this  surplus  which  remains  with 
him  with  the  towel,  as  soon  as  the  organs  are  parted, 
and  immediately  leave  his  super-imposed  position, 
leaving  his  wife  perfectly  free,  to  do  as  she  will.  She 
should  arrange  the  towel  between  her  thighs,  exactly 
as  she  would  a  sanitary  napkin,  making  no  attempt 
to  remove  the  surplus  semen  at  that  time,  and  turn 
over  and  go  to  sleep  immediately.  (It  is  said  that 
if  the  woman  goes  to  sleep  on  her  hack,  after  coition, 
she  thereby  increases  the  probability  of  becoming 
pregnant.  This  is  a  point  that  women  who  greatly 
desire  motherhood  should  note.  The  writer  knew 
one  case  where  a  wife  lay  on  her  back  for  twenty- 
four  hours  after  coition  and  so  became  pregnant 
after  all  other  means  had  failed.) 

Now  it  might  seem  that  such  neglect,  on  the  part 
of  the  woman,  to  immediately  remove  the  surplus 
semen,  was  uncleanly  and  unsanitary.  But  this  is 
not  at  all  true,  and  for  this  reason:  The  semen  is 
a  most  powerful  stimulant  to  all  the  female  sex- 
organs,  and  to  the  whole  body  of  the  woman.  The, 
organs    themselves    will   absorb    quantities    of    semen, 


Sane  Sex  Living  87 

if  left  in  contact  with  it,  and  it  is  most  healthful  and 
beneficial  to  them,  and  to  the  woman,  to  have  them 
do  so.  It  is  for  this  cause  that  many  women  in- 
crease in  flesh,  and  even  grow  fat  after  they  are  mar- 
ried and  so  can  avail  themselves  of  this  healthful 
food.  As  a  matter  of  fact,  there  is  no  nerve-stim- 
ulant, or  nerve-quieter,  that  is  as  potent  to  woman- 
kind as  semen.  There  are  multitudes  of  "nervous" 
women,  hysterical  even,  who  are  restored  to  health, 
and  kept  in  good  health,  through  the  stimulative  ef- 
fects of  satisfactory  coitus  and  the  absorption  of 
semen,  when  both  these  items  are  present  in  perfec- 
tion. On  the  other  hand,  there  are  many  women 
who  suffer  all  sorts  of  ills,  when  these  normally  bene- 
ficial factors  are  misused  or  wrongly  applied.  The 
results  that  follow  all  depend  upon  the  way  the  act 
is  done,  and  its  products  utilized. 

So,  after  the  act  of  coition  is  over,  let  the  woman 
slip  a  "bandage"  into  place  as  soon  as  possible,  and 
go  to  sleep.  If  she  sleeps  long,  so  much  the  better, 
so  much  more  will  she  be  benefited  by  the  presence 
of  the  semen  and  its  absorption.  When  she  natur- 
ally wakens,  she  may  bathe  the  vulva  region  with 
warm  water;  but  there  is  no  need  of,  nor  is  it  wise 
to  try  to  cleanse  the  vagina  and  the  uterine  tract  by 
the  use  of  a  vaginal  syringe.  Above  all,  never  in- 
ject cold  water  into  the  vagina,  especially  do  not  do 
this  immediately  after  coitus.  Some  women  use  a 
cold  water  injection  immediately  after  coitus.  There 
is  no  surer  way  to  ill  health  and  ultimate  suicide. 
The   parts   are   congested   with    blood   at   such  times. 


88  Sane  Sex  Life 

and  to  pour  cold  water  upon  them  is  as  though,  when 
one  is  dripping  with  perspiration,  he  should  plunge 
into  a  cold  bath.  Nature  has  made  wise  provision 
for  taking  care  of  all  the  semen  that  remains  in  the 
vagina.  Let  the  parts  alone,  and  they  will  cleanse 
and  care  for  themselves. 

Such,  then,  is  a  somewhat  extended  review  of  the 
act  of  coitus  at  its  best  estate,  and  in  a  general  way. 
Its  perfect  accomplishment  is  an  art  to  he  cultivated, 
and  one  in  zuhich  expertness  can  only  be  attained 
by  wise  observation,  careful  study  of  all  the  factors 
in  the  problem,  skilful  manipulation  of  all  the  parts 
involved,  and  a  loving  adaptation  of  the  bodies, 
minds  and  souls  of  both  the  parties  to  the  act.  It 
is  no  mere  animal  function.  It  is  a  utiion,  a  unity  of 
"two  souls  with  but  a  single  thought,  two  hearts  that 
beat  as  one."  There  is  nothing  low  or  degrading 
about  it,  when  it  is  what  it  ought  to  be,  when  it  is 
brought  to,  and  experienced  at,  its  highest  and  best 
estate.  It  is  God-designed,  God-born,  God-bestowed! 
As  such  it  should  be  thankfully  received  and  divinely 
used  by  all  the  sons  and  daughters  of  men. 


VII 


THE  FIRST  UNION 


AND  now,  although  so  much  has  been  said,  there 
is  much  that  remains  to  be  said,  and  which 
ought  to  be  said,  to  do  the  subject  justice.  Some 
of  these  things  are  as  follows : 

Something  more  ought  to  be  told  about  the  sec- 
ond part  of  the  act  of  coitus,  the  union  of  the  organs, 
when  this  occurs  for  the  first  time  on  the  part  of  the 
woman. 

At  the  first  meeting  of  the  husband  and  wife,  if 
the  woman  be  a  virgin,  there  are  certain  conditions 
which  exist,  on  her  part,  that  are  not  present  in 
after-meetings,  and  these  must  be  understood  and 
rightly  dealt  with,  or  the  worst  of  bad  results  may 
ensue. 

Of  course,  at  such  first  meeting,  all  the  prelimi- 
naries prescribed  as  forming  the  first  movement  of 
the  act  should  be  carried  out  to  the  limit.  It  is  not 
too  much  to  say  that  these  should  be  prolonged  for 
some  days!  Do  not  start,  young  husband,  at  this 
statement!  Well  did  Alexander  Dumas,  pere,  write: 
"Oh,  young  husband,  have  a  care  in  the  first  over- 
tures you  make  toward  your  bride!  She  may  shrink 
from  what  she  feels  must  come ;  she  may  put  her 
hands  over  her  eyes  to   shut   out  the   sight;   but  do 

89 


90  Sane  Sex  Life 

not  forget  that  she  is  a  woman,  and  so  is  filled  with 
curiosity,  under  any  and  all  circumstances!  And 
you  may  set  it  down  as  sure,  that,  though  she  blinds 
herself  with  her  hands  as  she  scales  the  dizzy 
heights  you  are  leading  her  over,  nevertheless,  she 
unll  peek  through  her  fingers!  So  she  will  watch 
you  with  most  critical  eyes,  and  note  every  show  of 
selfishness  or  blundering  on  your  part!  So  have  a 
care!  You  may  think  you  are  aiming  your  arrow 
at  the  sun.  See  to  it  that  it  does  not  alight  in  the 
mud !"  Good  words  these,  and  to  be  heeded,  come 
what  may ! 

As  a  rule,  if  the  bride  be  a  virgin,  it  is  well  to 
let  plenty  of  time  elapse  before  engaging  in  the  full 
act  of  coitus!  Delay  here  will  lead  to  a  possible 
loving  sj>eed,  later  on.  The  young  people  should 
take  time  enough  to  get  better  acquainted  with  each 
other  than  ever  before ;  to  become,  in  a  measure,  ac- 
customed to  the  uncovered  presence  of  each  other, 
and  to  the  new  possibilities  of  "courting"  and  "play- 
ing together"  that  their  new  conditions  offer.  In 
any  case,  full  coitus  should  not  be  attempted  till  the 
bride  is  at  least  willing.  If  she  can  be  brought  to 
become  anxious  for  the  meeting,  so  much  the  better. 

And  so,  with  plenty  of  time  taken  for  making 
ready  for  the  act  we  come  to  the  first  union  of  the 
organs  for  a  newly  married  couple,  the  bride  being 
a  virgin.  And  here  is  where  an  explanation  is  called 
for. 

The  vulva,  or  external  part  of  the  female  sex 
organs,    is    a    mouth    shaped    aperture,    located    later- 


Sane  Sex  Living  91 

ally  between  the  forward  part  of  the  thighs.  In 
shape,  size  and  structure,  it  much  resembles  the  ex- 
ternal parts  of  the  mouth  proper.  It  begins  just 
in  front  of  the  anus,  and  extends  forward  above 
the  pubic  bone  and  a  little  ways  up  the  belly.  Its 
entire  lateral  length  is  about  four  or  more  inches. 

This  organ  is  made  up  of  several  parts,  as  fol- 
lows: The  lips,  or  labiae,  as  they  are  technically 
known,  the  clitoris,  and  the  vaginal  opening.  The 
lips  are  a  double  row,  two  on  either  side,  and  are 
known  as  labiae  major  and  labiae  minor,  that  is,  the 
thicker  and  thinner  or  larger  and  smaller  lips.  They 
extend  almost  the  entire  length  of  the  vulva,  the 
outer  lips  folding  over  the  inner  ones  when  the  thighs 
are  together.  The  outer  parts  of  the  larger  lips 
are  covered  with  hair.  In  thickness  and  quality 
these  labiae  are  much  like  the  lips  of  the  face  of  each 
individual,  a  large  mouth  and  thick  lips  indicate  a 
large  vulva  and  thick  labiae  and  vice-versa.  The 
clitoris  is  a  gland  that  is  located  forward,  on  the 
upper  part  of  the  vulva.  It  corresponds,  almost 
exactly,  in  make-up  and  function,  with  the  glans 
penis  of  the  male  organ.  The  vaginal  opening  is 
at  the  rear,  or  lower  part  of  the  vulva,  and  leads 
directly  into  the  vagina  proper. 

All  these  parts  are  composed  of  most  keenly  re- 
sponsive nerves,  and  they  are  covered  with  a  thin, 
delicate  and  exceedingly  sensitive  skin,  almost  exact- 
ly such  as  lines  the  cheeks  and  the  mouth.  Both  the 
clitoris  and  the  lips  are  filled  with  expandable  blood 
vessels,  and  in  a  state  of  tumescence  they  are  greatly 


92  Sane  Sex  Life 

enlarged  by  a  flow  of  blood  into  the  parts.  The 
clitoris,  in  this  condition,  undergoes  an  enlargement, 
or  "erection,"  which  is  exactly  like  that  of  the  glans 
penis.  So  much  as  to  the  physiology  of  this  part  of 
the  female  sex  organs,  all  of  which  should  be  well 
understood  by  every  bride  and  bridegroom,  though 
often  it  is  not. 

Now,  in  its  virgin  state,  the  vulva  has  another 
part,  not  yet  named,  and  this  is  the  hymen,  or 
"maiden-head"  as  it  is  commonly  known.  This  is  a 
membrane  that  grows  across  the  forward,  or  upper 
part  of  the  vaginal  opening,  and  so  closes  up  nearly 
all  that  part  of  the  vulva.  This  hymen  is  not  al- 
ways present,  however,  even  in  a  state  of  undoubted 
virginity.  Sometimes  it  is  torn  away  in  childhood 
by  the  little  girl's  fingers,  as  she  "plays  with  her- 
self." Sometimes  it  is  ruptured  by  lifting,  again  it 
is  broken  away  by  the  use  of  a  large-sized  female 
syringe.  For  all  these  reasons,  it  is  not  right  to 
conclude  that  a  bride  is  not  a  virgin  because  the 
hymen  is  not  present  and  in  evidence  at  the  first 
coition. 

Now  many  young  husbands,  and  some  young 
wives,  are  wholly  ignorant  of  the  existence  of  the 
hymen,  and  of  the  troubles  it  may  cause  at  the  second 
part  of  the  sexual  act,  in  a  first  meeting.  This  mem- 
brane is  often  quite  tough  and  strong.  It  is  grown 
fast  to  the  lower  part  of  the  clitoris  and  to  the  inside 
surfaces  of  the  smaller  lips,  and  it  covers  so  much 
of  the  vaginal  opening  that  it  is  practically  impos- 
sible  for  the  erect  penis  to  enter  the  vagina  so  long 


Sane  Sex  Living  93 

as  it  is  present.  Now  if.  under  these  conditions,  the 
bride  and  groom  (especially  the  latter)  are  igno- 
rant of  the  real  construction 'of  the  parts,  and  so 
should  try  to  make  a  union  of  the  organs,  they  would 
find  such  union  obstructed,  if  not  impossible;  and  if 
the  man,  puzzled,  and  impatient,  and  passion-driven, 
should  force  a  hasty  entrance  into  the  vagina,  rup- 
turing the  hymen  ruthlessly,  he  would  hurt  the  wo- 
man cruelly,  probably  cause  her  to  bleed  freely  from 
the  wounded  parts,  and  shock  her  seriously!  All 
of  which  would  be  a  score  against  the  husband,  would 
brand  him  as  a  brute,  or  a  bungler,  and  so  tend  to 
make  his  ''sun-aimed  arrow  alight  in  the  mud." 

The  thing  to  do  here,  is,  first  of  all.  to  know  the 
situation  and  to  talk  it  over,  and  carefully,  delicately, 
do  the  best  that  can  be  done  about  it.  If  the  con- 
ditions are  fully  understood  by  the  bride  and  groom, 
they  can.  in  almost  every  case,  by  working  and  mov- 
ing together  carefully,  overcome  the  obstacle,  remove 
the  hymen  with  little  or  no  pain  or  loss  of  blood. 

As  a  matter  of  fact,  when  the  time  for  meeting 
comes,  if  all  the  facts  are  known,  and  the  husband 
will  hold  his  erect  penis  still  and  steady  against  the 
hymen,  the  bride  will  so  press  against  it,  and  "wiggle 
around"  it,  that  hy  her  own  motions,  she  will  break 
the  membrane  and  so  be  rid  of  it.  She  knows  how 
much  pain  she  can  endure,  and  when  the  pressure 
is  too  hard  she  can  relieve  it  by  her  own  action ! 
Anyhow,  what  is  done  she  docs  herself,  and   so  can 


94  Sane  Sex  Life 

never  charge  up  against  her  husband ! 

It  is  a  rare  case  in  which,  by  mutual  willingness, 
and  desire  and  mutual  effort  to  remove  the  obstruc- 
tion, it  cannot  be  eliminated  with  satisfaction  to 
both  bride  and  groom.  If,  however,  careful  and  well- 
executed  efforts  fail  to  remove  it,  the  services  of  a 
surgeon  should  be  procured,  and  he,  by  a  very  simple 
and  almost  painless  operation,  can  remove  the  diffi- 
culty. But  never,  no  never,  should  it  be  brutally  torn 
away  by  the  force  of  the  husband,  and  without  the 
full  willingness  of  the  wife.  Mark  this  well.  As  a 
matter  of  fact,  the  wise  and  practical  thing  for 
every  bride  to  do,  would  be  to  go  to  a  surgeon  a  few 
days  before  her  wedding,  and  have  him  remove  the 
hymen  for  her.  Such  operation  is  nearly  painless, 
and  is  very  easily  done.  Still,  to  do  this  might  raise 
a  doubt  of  virginity  on  the  part  of  the  husband  and 
so  this  is  a  point  to  be  careful  about ! 

The  act  of  removing  the  hymen  is  often  spoken  of 
as  "defloration" — the  tearing  to  pieces  of  a  flower. 
The  term  is  not  fortunate.  Nothing  worth  while 
has  been  taken  away  by  removing  the  hymen,  but 
much  that  is  useful  has  been  acquired.  An  organ 
that  has  outlived  whatever  usefulness  it  might  once 
have  had  has  been  removed,  and  its  going  has  made 
possible  new  and  beautiful  uses  in  life.  If  this  has 
been  accomplished  by  the  mutual  desire  and  effort 
of  the  bride  and  groom,  it  is  a  cause  for  joy  and 
not  of  sorrow ;  of  delight  and  not  of  mourning.  As 
well  weep  over  the  removal  of  the  vermiform  appen- 
dix as  for  the  destruction  of  the  hymen. 


Sane  Sex  Living  95 

With  this  obstacle  rightly  overcome,  the  second 
act  of  coitus  offers  no  situation  that  calls  for  further 
remark  or  explanation. 

And  now  a  few  words  about  the  probabilities  of 
conception  resulting  from  coitus,  and  some  matters 
which  are  very  closely  related  thereto. 

In  the  first  place,  every  healthy  and  fairly-well- 
provided-for  husband  and  wife  should  desire  to  have 
children,  and  should  act  in  accordance  with  such 
wish.  This  is  not  only  in  harmony  with  the  primary 
purpose  of  sex  in  the  human  family,  but  it  is  a 
response  to  a  natural  demand  of  the  human  soul, 
in  both  man  and  woman.  As  Bernard  Shaw  makes 
Jack  Tanner  say:  "There  is  a  father-heart  as  well 
as  a  mother-heart"  and  parenthood  is  the  supreme 
desire  of  all  normal  and  wholesome-minded  men  and 
women.  It  is  not  an  "instinct,"  but  something  far 
above  that  quality. 

Parenthood  among  mere  animals  is  the  result  of 
instinct,  and  of  that  alone,  but  not  so  in  the  human 
race.  Human  beings  naturally  desire  to  make  a  home 
for  themselves,  and  a  home,  in  the  fullest  meaning 
of  that  word,  means  children  and  a  "family  circle." 
This  is  something  that  animals  know  nothing  about. 
Animal  mothers  forget  and  ignore  their  progeny 
as  soon  as  they  are  weaned;  and  animal  fathers  will, 
in  many  cases,  kill  them  as  soon  as  they  are  born, 
if  they  get  a  chance  to  do  so.  These  facts  prove  that 
parenthood,  in  the  human  family,  is  something  much 
more  than  in  the  rest  of  the  animal  kingdom.  In- 
deed, the  whole  matter  of  comparing  this  quality,  as 


96  Sane  Sex  Life 

it  exists  in  humanity,  with  that  of  animals  merely, 
is  only  a  continuance  of  the  similar  abomination  of 
comparing  the  sex  functions  of  these  two  forms  of 
life.  In  the  real  essentials  of  existence,  they  are  in 
no  way  comparable ;  and  to  make  such  is  not  only 
folly,  but  approaches  the  positively  criminal.  The 
results  of  doing  so  certainly  lead  to  crime. 

Fundamentally,  then,  nearly  all  men  and  women 
marry  with  the  purpose  and  hope  of  having  a  family 
of  children.  They  may  not  put  it  that  way,  may 
not  even  acknowledge  it,  even  to  each  other  or  to 
themselves;  but  if  married  people  find  that  they  can- 
not produce,  it  is  a  source  of  unspeakable  regret  to 
them  both.  In  such  cases,  the  inherent  desire  for 
parenthood  will  "cry  aloud  and  spare  not."  A  "bar- 
ren" woman  greatly  mourns  her  inability,  and  will 
shed  bitter  tears  over  the  fact,  if  she  be  truly  human ; 
and  an  "impotent"  man  will  be  practically  despised 
by  all  who  are  aware  of  his  incompetence. 

And  yet,  though  all  normal  men  and  women  desire 
to  have  children,  it  is  only  right  that  they  should 
desire  to  have  them,  as  they  zvant  them,  and  ivhen 
they  want  them,  and  not  whenever  they  may  happen 
to  come!  That  is,  sensible  and  thoughtful  people, 
who  plan  definitely  for  the  future,  want  to  make  the 
coming  of  children  to  them  an  affair  of  deliberate 
arrangement,  and  not  of  chance. 

This  is  not  only  as  it  should  be.  but  is  really  the 
only  right  way  that  children  should  be  gotten  and 
born.  Which  statement  calls  for  a  few  special  words 
on   the   right   of   parents   to   regulate   the   production 


Sane  Sex  Living  97 

of  progeny. 

There  is  much  talk,  in  some  quarters,  about  "race 
suicide,"  and  the  wickedness  of  deliberately  limiting 
the  number  of  children  in  a  family.  Such  talking  and 
writing  arouse  anxious  questionings  in  the  minds  of 
conscientious  young  married  men  and  women  who 
are  desiring  to  do  the  right  thing  in  the  premises, 
but  are  uncertain  as  to  what  the  right  thing  is,  and 
for  such  are  the  following  words : 

Many  years  ago,  an  English  philosopher  and 
statesman,  Malthus  by  name,  discovered  and  an- 
nounced the  fact  that  the  rate  of  natural  increase 
in  the  human  race  was  several  times  greater  than 
that  of  the  possible  rate  of  production  of  food  sup- 
plies for  their  support.  Scientifically  phrased,  his 
statement  was  that  "the  rate  of  increase  in  humanity 
is  in  geometrical  ratio,  while  the  rate  of  increase  of 
possible  food  supply  is  in  arithmetical  ratio."  And 
from  this  basis,  he  reasoned  that,  unless  the  surplus 
of  human  production  was  in  some  way  cut  off  and 
destroyed,  the  whole  human  race  would  ultimately 
demand  more  food  supply  than  could  possibly  be 
produced;  and  so,  in  due  course  of  time,  the  whole 
race  would  perish  from  starvation ! 

Then  he  proceeded  to  reason  that  the  purpose  of 
disease,  plague,  pestilence,  famine,  poverty  and  war- 
fare was  to  cut  off  and  destroy  the  surplus  of  hu- 
manity, and  hence  all  these  alleged  evils  were  in 
reality  blessings  in  disguise,  and  that  it  would  he 
wrong  to  interfere  with  their  really  beneficent  work- 
ings !     Volumes  could  be  written,  and  they  could  not 


98>  Sane  Sex  Life 

tell  the  half  of  the  misery  and  evil  that  the  promul- 
gation of  this  doctrine  has  done  for  the  civilized 
world,  but  there  is  no  space  here  for  giving  any 
such  details ;  nor  need  this  be  done,  though  the  state- 
ment of  the  doctrine  had  to  be  made  to  make  ready 
for  what  is  to  follow. 

Now,  is  it  not  far  more  reasonable  to  suppose 
that,  since  the  possibility  of  determining  the  number 
of  off-spring  a  husband  and  zmfe  may  produce  has 
been  given  them;  that  since  such  result  can  be,  for 
them,  made  a  matter  of  choice,  of  an  exercise  of  the 
ivill,  and  not  of  blind  instinct — under  these  circum- 
stances, all  of  which  undoubtedly  exist,  is  it  not  far 
more  reasonable  to  believe  that  it  is  the  purpose  of 
the  Creator  that  the  limiting  of  the  number  of 
human  beings  in  the  world  should  be  brought  about 
by  curbing  the  birth  rate,  rather  than  by  killing  the 
surplus  after  they  are  born ! 

There  can  be  but  one  answer  made  to  this  ques- 
tion by  any  intelligent  man  or  woman. 

These  facts,  then  establish  the  rightfulness  of 
determining  the  number  and  size  of  a  family  by  every 
husband  and  zmfe.  But  this  does  not  mean  that  they 
are  to  entirely  refrain  from  cohabiting,  in  order  to 
keep  from  having  children !  This  phase  of  the  argu- 
ment has  already  been  gone  over  and  disposed  of. 
But  it  does  mean  that  husbands  and  wives  have  a 
right  to  use  such  rightful  means  for  the  limiting  of 
the  numljer  of  offspring  as  are  conducive  to  the 
interests  of  all  parties  concerned — themselves,  their 
circumstances,    the    born     or    unborn    children,     the 


Sane  Sex  Living  99 

state,  the  nation.  Let  the  bride  and  groom  be  well 
convinced  and  established  in  their  own  minds  on 
these  points,  as  early  in  their  relation  as  possible. 
They  should  be  so  from  the  very  outset — must  be  so, 
to  reach  the  best  result. 

The  issue  then  presents  itself :  How  can  such 
deliberate  and  wilful  determination  of  the  number 
of  children  a  husband  and  wife  may  have,  be  brought 
about  ? 

And  the  answer  is,  that  it  can  never  he  accom- 
plished by  careless  and  hap-hazard  cohabiting!  On 
the  contrary,  it  can  only  be  compassed  by  the  most 
careful  and  watchful  processes  of  engaging  in  coitus, 
and  by  a  full  knowledge  of  physiological  facts,  and 
by  acting,  always,  in  accordance  with  the  same.  It 
is  no  road  for  careless  travel,  but  it  is  a  way  worth 
going  in,  for  all  that. 

On  this  point,  let  it  be  said  that  all  sane  and 
intelligent  men  and  women  agree  that  anything  even 
approaching  infanticide  is  nothing  short  of  a  crime, 
and  that  abortion,  except  for  the  purpose  of  saving 
the  life  of  the  mother,  is  practically  murder. 

But,  while  this  is  all  true,  to  prevent  the  contact 
of  two  germs  which,  if  permitted  to  unite,  would  be 
liable  to  result  in  a  living  human  form,  is  quite  an- 
other affair. 

It  is  only  this  aspect  of  the  situation  which  will 
be  considered  in  what  follows. 

Now,  as  has  already  been  shown,  the  essentials  for 
conception  consist  of  having  the  ovum  present  in  the 
womb,  and  its  meeting  the  semen  there.     The  corol- 


100  Sane  Sex  Life 

lary  of  this  is,  that  whenever  these  coincidences  take 
place,  there  is  a  possibility  for  conception. 

But  in  all  normal  cases,  the  ovum  only  passes 
into  the  womb  once  in  every  twenty-eight  days ;  and, 
as  a  rule,  it  only  remains  in  the  womb  for  about  half 
that  period  of  time,  that  is,  for  about  14  or  15  days 
in  each  month.  And  so,  since  the  menstrual  flow 
ceases  after  about  five  days  from  its  beginning,  in 
about  ten  days  after  its  stopping,  the  ovum  will 
have  passed  out  of  the  womb,  and  hence  that  organ 
contains  nothing  that  is  impregnable.  Under  these 
conditions,  the  semen  may  be  deposited  in  the  womb, 
without  danger  of  impregnation.  This  is  a  simple 
proposition,  and  easy  to  understand  if  once  known. 

However,  it  must  be  said  that  these  generally 
common  conditions  do  not  always  obtain — that  is, 
they  are  not  true  in  the  case  of  all  women.  There 
are  women  who  will  conceive  at  any  time  in  the 
month,  if  they  are  given  a  chance  to  do  so.  The 
physiological  reason  for  such  possibility  is  said  to 
be  this :  There  are  always  ova  in  the  ovaries,  in 
varying  stages  of  development.  Ordinarily,  only 
once  a  month  do  any  of  these  pass  down  into  the 
womb ;  but,  in  exceptional  cases,  sometimes  these  ova 
are  so  partially  held  in  the  ovaries  that,  under  the 
excitement  of  coitus,  and  because  all  these  parts 
dilate  so  much  during  the  act,  an  ovum  may  slip 
its  moorings,  under  such  conditions,  i:)ass  down  into 
the  uterus  at  an  untimely  season,  meet  the  semen 
there,  and  i)regnancy  result.  Such  are  the  facts 
in  some  cases. 


Sane  Sex  Living  101 

How,  then,  can  a  husband  and  wife  tell  how  it 
is,  or  will  be,  in  their  particular  case? 

The  answer  is  that  they  can  only  tell  by  trying, 
and  that  should  be  done  as  follows : 

The  first  sexual  meeting  of  the  bride  and  groom 
should  never  take  place  until  at  least  ten  days  after 
the  ceasing  of  the  menstrual  flow  in  the  bride!  This 
is  a  rule  that  should  never  he  violated  if  the  parties 
wish  to  "test  out"  the  real  condition  as  to  whether 
or  not  the  bride  has  any  "free  time."  The  chances 
are  several  to  one  that  she  has  such  leeway ;  but  the 
fact  can  only  be  established  by  "proving  up"  and 
this  can  never  be  done  if  any  chances  are  taken.  Put 
this  down  as  rule  number  one. 

For  this  reason,  it  is  well  for  the  bride  to  fix  the 
wedding  day ;  and,  if  possible,  for  her  to  locate  it 
sometime  during  the  probable  immune  period.  And 
the  nearer  she  can  bring  this  day  to  the  beginning 
of  such  period  of  freedom  from  danger  of  pregnancy, 
the  better.  For,  if  it  should  happen  that  the  first 
coitus  should  take  place  only  a  day  or  tivo  before  the 
time  when  another  "monthly"  was  due,  such  excite- 
ment might  hasten  the  passage  of  the  nearly-ripe 
ovum  into  the  uterus,  and  conception  might  occur. 
In  which  case,  "all  the  fat  would  be  in  the  fire," 
nothing  would  be  proved,  and  the  parties  would  be 
as  ignorant  as  ever  regarding  the  facts  in  their  case. 

And  so,  the  first  sexual  meeting  of  a  bride  and 
bridegroom  should  be  not  earlier  than  ten  days  after 
the  ceasing  of  the  menstrual  flozv  and  not  later  than 


102  Sane  Sex  Life 

three  days  before  the  next  monthly  is  due.     Put  that 
down  as  ride  number  two,  never  to  be  violated. 

And  if  marriage  takes  place  before  this  period 
of  probable  immunity  on  the  part  of  the  bride  ar- 
rives, the  only  safe  thing  to  do  is  to  "patiently  wait" 
till  such  time  arrives.  This  may  "require  fortitude" 
on  the  part  of  both  parties,  but  it  is  the  only  safe 
thing  to  do.  And  to  do  just  that,  will  amply  repay 
such  waiting.  The  writer  knows  of  a  case  where 
the  wedding  took  place  just  three  days  before  the 
bride's  next  monthly  was  due,  and  she  and  her  hus- 
band waited  for  more  than  tzvo  weeks  before  they  met 
sexually !  But  it  paid  to  wait,  for  their  doing  so 
proved  that  the  bride  had  two  weeks  of  "free  time" 
in  each  month,  and  this  was  worth  all  it  cost  to  find 
out!    Take  time! 

And  now  let  it  be  added  that  it  is  a  great  accom- 
plishment for  a  husband  and  wife  to  be  free  from  a 
fear  of  pregnancy  as  a  result  of  coitus.  This  is  a 
thousand  times  truer  for  the  woman  than  for  the 
man,  for  it  is  she  who  has  to  bear  the  burden  of  what 
follows,  if  following  there  be.  The  husband  can  "do 
the  deed"  and  go  about  his  business.  The  wife,  if 
"the  fertile  seed"  takes  root,  has  before  her  months 
of  care  and  anxiety,  and  she  risks  her  very  life  in 
what  may  come  of  it  all.  For  these  reasons,  she  has  a 
right  to  dictate  all  the  terms  which  are  liable  to  cause 
her  to  become  a  mother.  And  yet  she  should  do  this 
with  full  regard  for  the  husband,  in  love,  in  true 
wifely-womanhood.     On  this  point,  do  not  fail  to  read 


Sane  Sex  Living  103 

"The  Helpmate,"  by  May  Sinclair.  It  is  a  story  that 
no  bride  and  bridegroom  should  fail  to  read  and 
study,  carefully. 

The  whole  subject  of  how  to  engage  in  satisfac- 
tory coitus  and  avoid  pregnancy  may  be  summed  up 
as  follows : — The  attainment  of  such  a  condition  is 
well  worth  the  most  careful,  earnest  and  honestly 
pains-taking  endeavor.  For,  if  such  status  be  not 
reached,  its  lack  will  be  a  source  of  endless  conten- 
tions and  differences  between  the  husband  and  wife. 
It  will  lead  to  jealousies,  quarrels,  and  all  sorts  of 
marital  woes.  But,  the  situation  once  mastered,  by 
the  most  loving  and  accurate  of  scientific  methods  of 
procedure,  a  happy  married  life  is  certain  to  result. 
Otherwise,  the  "married  state"  will  always  be  in  a 
condition  of  "unstable  equilibrium."  So  let  every 
bride  and  bridegroom  begin,  from  the  first,  to  try  to 
establish  the  greatly  to  be  desired  accomplishment. 
If  anything  further  on  this  point  should  be  desired, 
consult  a  reliable  physician. 


VIII 


THE  ART  OF   LOVE 


AND  Still  there  is  more  to  be  said!  Is  it  not 
written  that  "Art  is  long!"  And  the  Art  of 
Love  is  the  longest  of  all  arts,  and  the  most  difficult 
of  all  for  its  complete  mastery  and  attainment! 

It  is  a  matter  of  misfortune,  and  yet  one  of  not 
infrequent  occurrence,  that  the  sex  organs  of  hus- 
band and  wife  are  not  zvell  matched;  and  that 
trouble,  sometimes  of  a  most  serious  nature,  results. 
When  this  condition  is  found  to  exist,  it  should  be 
treated  sanely  and  wisely,  and  the  chances  are  many 
to  one  that  the  difficulty  can  be  overcome,  to  the  full 
satisfaction  of  both  parties  concerned. 

In  such  cases,  the  mis-matching  usually  arises 
from  the  fact  that  the  penis  of  the  husband  is  too 
long  for  the  vagina  of  the  wife.  This  is  very  apt 
to  be  the  case  where  the  wife  is  of  the  "dumpy"  sort, 
with  a  small  mouth  and  short  fingers,  while  the  hus- 
band is  "gangling,"  large  mouthed  and  long  fingered. 
These  are  facts  that  ought  to  be  taken  into  account 
before  marriage,  and  which  should  figure  in  deter- 
mining whether  the  parties  are  "suited"  to  each 
other.  They  zvould  be  regarded  in  this  way,  too,  if 
they  were  generally  known,  as  they  most  surely  are 
not.     Here  is  another  place  where  ignorance  and  "in- 

104 


Sane  Sex  Living  105 

nocence"    get    in    their    work,    and    make    trouble    in 
married  life! 

In  such  a  case  as  this,  the  too-long  penis,  when 
fully  inserted  in  the  too-short  vagina,  and  especially 
when,  at  the  orgasm,  the  two  organs  are  crowded 
together  vigorously,  as  the  impulse  of  both  parties 
demands  they  should  be  at  this  part  of  the  act,  the 
end  of  the  penis  is  driven  against  the  rear  walls  of 
the  vagina,  often  furiously,  thus  stretching  and 
straining  the  vaginal  passage  longitudinally,  press- 
ing against  the  womb  unnaturally,  and  not  infre- 
quently pushing  it  out  of  place  and  sometimes  rup- 
turing the  uterine  tract  seriously,  hence  causing  all 
sorts  of  unfortunate  and  greatly-to-be-regretted 
results. 

Because  of  such  danger,  the  first  meeting  of  the 
husband  and  wife  should  be  accomplished  with  the 
utmost  care,  especially  in  the  second  part  of  the  act, 
the  first  putting  together  of  the  organs.  This  is  the 
only  way  of  determining,  in  each  case,  how  the 
organs  will  "fit,"  and  happy  are  the  parties  thereto 
if  such  fit  is  found  to  be  perfect ! 

But  if  it  should  turn  out  that  there  is  a  mis- 
matching, of  the  nature  just  described,  the  condi- 
tions can  be  adjusted  if  the  right  means  are  used. 

(Before  telling  this,  however,  it  should  be  stated 
that  the  relative  size  of  the  sex  organs  can  never  be 
fully  judged  of  by  the  size  of  the  body  of  a  man  or 
a  woman.  Many  a  small  man  has  an  abnormally 
large  and  long  penis,  and  many  a  little  woman  has 


106  Sane  Sex  Life 

a  large  vulva  and  a  long  vagina ;  and  the  reverse  of 
all  this  is  true,  in  the  case  of  many  men  and  women. 
These  items  in  the  count  are  among  the  things  that 
can  never  be  known  with  certainty  except  by  actual 
trial,  and  this  is  not  possible,  as  things  are  now.) 

And  so,  if  "mis-matching"  is  found  to  exist,  in 
any  given  case,  it  can  be  provided  for,  in  most  cases 
as  follows : 

Instead  of  taking  the  jx)sition  for  coitus  which 
has  already  been  described — the  woman  on  her  back 
and  the  man  over  and  above  her — let  this  be  done: 
Let  the  man  lie  on  his  left  side,  or  partly  on  his  left 
side  and  partly  on  his  back,  facing  the  woman,  his 
left  leg  drawn  up  so  that  the  thigh  makes  an  angle  of 
45  degrees  with  the  body,  and  the  knee  bent  at  about 
the  same  angle.  Now  let  her,  lying  on  her  right  side, 
mount  into  his  arms,  in  this  way :  Let  her  place  her 
right  hip  in  the  angle  made  by  her  husband's  left 
thigh  and  his  body,  so  that  his  left  leg  supports  her 
hips,  by  being  under  them ;  put  her  right  leg  between 
his  leg,  throw  her  left  leg  over  his  right  leg,  put  her 
right  arm  around  his  neck,  and  her  left  arm  should 
be  placed  across  his  body  under  his  right  arm.  His 
left  arm  should  be  placed  around  her  waist  from 
below,  and  his  right  arm  left  free  to  move  over  her 
body,  as  he  may  choose.  Now  in  this  position,  the 
man's  hips  make  a  sort  of  saddle  into  which  the 
woman  "vaults"  easily,  naturally,  and  with  the 
greatest  of  comfort ;  while  the  man,  with  his  whole 
body  supported  by  the  bed,  as  he  lies,  will  be  per- 


Sane  Sex  Living  107 

fectly  comfortable,  and  can  maintain  the  position 
much  longer,  without  tiring,  than  he  could  were  he 
over  and  above  the  woman,  supporting  himself  by  his 
elbows  and  knees,  and  with  the  woman's  arms  around 
his  waist,  lifting  her  body  thereby,  and  thus  adding 
her  weight  to  his,  all  to  be  sustained  by  him.  A 
moment's  consideration  will  disclose  the  fact  that 
this  position  has  many  points  in  its  favor,  beyond 
that  of  the  man-superior  form.  The  woman,  in  this 
position,  is  not  wholly  superior,  but  she  is  partly  on 
her  right  side  and  partly  on  her  belly.  Her  whole 
weight  rests  on  her  husband's  body,  but  her  weight 
does  not  tire  him,  as  the  bed  below  him  easily  sup- 
ports them  both. 

Now,  in  this  position,  the  sex  organs  are  brought 
closely  together  and  their  union  is  easily  accom- 
plished. But  see !  It  is  now  the  woman,  and  not  the 
man  who  has  full  control  of  such  meeting,  and  so 
can  regulate  it  to  her  liking,  or  needs.  Her  hips  are 
perfectly  free  to  move  towards,  or  from,  those  of 
the  man ;  and  so  she  can  determine  just  how  w,uch  or 
how  little  of  his  penis  shall  enter  her  vagina!  And 
if  his  penis  is  too  long  for  her,  she  can  accommodate 
her  action  to  such  fact ! 

As  for  the  man,  his  satisfaction  will  be  fully  equal 
to,  if  not  greater  than  it  would  be  were  he  in  the 
other  position.  The  ease  afforded  to  his  body,  and 
the  fact  that  he  need  have  no  fear  of  hurting  the 
woman,  these  things  will  be  a  delight  to  him,  that 
is  of  real  value,  and  which  will  make  for  his  delecta- 


108  Sane  Sex  Life 

tion  as  much  as  for  that  of  the  woman  in  his  arms. 
The  in-and-out  motion  is  as  easily  performed  in  this 
position  as  in  the  other ;  and  at  the  climax,  the 
organs  can  be  crowded  together  passionately,  and 
still  without  hurting  the  woman.  For  she,  being 
free  to  move,  can  so  curve  her  hips  that  the  pelvic 
bone,  the  mons  veneris,  as  it  is  technically  called, 
will  receive  the  most  of  the  pressure,  and  at  the  same 
time  the  angle  which  is  thus  made  by  the  relative 
positions  of  the  vagina  and  the  penis  will  keep  the 
latter  from  penetrating  the  vagina  too  far,  and  so 
will  protect  its  rear  walls  and  the  womb  from  all 
danger  of  harm.  The  orgasm  is  just  as  perfect  in 
this  position  as  in  the  other.  It  is  just  as  natural  as 
the  other  position,  and  has  only  to  be  tried  to  be 
proved  worthy. 

And  now  one  other  point.  (Curious  how  these 
details  protract  themselves.  But  there  is  no  help  for 
it.    We  must  continue,  now  that  we  have  begun.) 

A  very  frequent  cause  of  married  unsatisfaction 
is  the  fact  of  the  difference  of  time  that  it  takes  for 
the  husband  and  wife  to  come  to  the  climax,  the 
orgasm.  As  has  already  been  noted,  the  highest 
delight  in  the  act  comes  when  this  climax  is  simul- 
taneous, comes  at  exactly  the  same  instant  to  both 
parties.  But  to  bring  this  about  is  not  easy  in  all 
cases,  and  hence  what  follows : 

As  a  rule,  women  are  slower  in  reaching  the 
orgasm  than  are  men.  This  is  not  always  so,  but  it 
is  generally  the  case.     Some  wives  are  so  passionate 


Sane  Sex  Living  109 

that  they  will  "spend"  several  times  to  their  hus- 
band's once!  The  author  knows  of  a  case  where  the 
wife  will  regularly  experience  the  orgasm  four  or 
five  times  to  her  husband's  once.  She  is  a  lovely  wife 
and  a  highly  accomplished  woman,  in  no  sense 
"fleshy"  or  "worldly  minded."  The  situation  is  that 
her  sex  organs  are  exceedingly  sensitive  while  those 
of  her  husband  are  the  reverse,  they  are  "timed" 
differently,  that  is  all.  The  case  is  rare,  and  as  a 
rule,  women  are  "timed"  slower  than  men. 

Again,  after  a  man  has  passed  the  orgasm  it  is, 
in  most  cases,  impossible  for  him  to  continue  the 
act,  right  then  and  there,  and  bring  the  woman 
to  the  climax,  if  she  has  not  yet  arrived,  from  the 
fact  that,  with  the  expulsion  of  the  semen,  usually 
detumescence  of  the  penis  at  once  takes  place,  and 
the  organ  is  incapable  of  exciting  the  woman  when 
in  this  condition.  And  so,  if  the  husband  "goes  oiT" 
first,  there  is  no  possibility  of  the  wife's  reaching  the 
climax  at  that  embrace.  This  leaves  her  unsatisfied, 
all  her  sex  organs  congested,  and  the  whole  situation 
is  unsatisfactory,  in  the  extreme.  On  the  other  hand, 
if  the  wife  comes  to  the  orgasm  first,  her  vulva  and 
vagina  detumesce  but  little  and  that  very  slowly, 
so  that  it  is  perfectly  possible  for  the  husband  to 
continue  his  action,  and  come  to  the  climax,  even  if 
his  partner  has  already  "spent." 

Under  these  conditions  it  is  easy  to  see  that, 
where  the  wife  is  "keyed"  or  "timed"  much  slower 
than  her  husband,  as  is  quite  often  the  case,  coitus  is 


110  Sane  Sex  Life 

very  liable  to  be  a  very  one-sided  affair,  one  in  which 
the  husband  gets  all  the  satisfaction,  and  the  wife  lit- 
tle or  NONE — a  most  unfortunate  status  for  both 
parties,  but  especially  for  the  tvife.  The  writer  once 
knew  a  case  where  a  husband  and  wife  lived  together 
to  celebrate  their  golden  wedding,  and  the  wife  never 
once  experienced  an  orgasm,  though  the  husband 
cohabited  with  her  several  times  a  month,  during  the 
most  of  their  married  life.  There  was  no  good  reason 
why  this  should  have  been  so,  only  that  the  husband 
was  "quick  in  action"  and  the  wife  somewhat  slow, 
and  they  had  never  synchronated  their  time  differ- 
ences. The  dear  old  lady  died  at  ninety,  never  having 
known  a  joy  that,  since  her  bridal  night,  she  had 
wished  for.  Both  the  husband  and  wife  were  most 
excellent  people.  They  simply  didn't  know!  One  was 
ignorant  and  the  other  innocent,  and  there  you  are 
again ! 

Now  the  thing  to  do,  under  such  circumstances, 
is  for  the  parties  to  "get  together."  And  the  way 
to  do  this  is,  first,  to  prolong  the  FIRST  part  of  the 
act,  till  the  wife  has  not  only  caught  up  with,  but 
is  even  ahead  of  her  husband  in  the  state  of  her 
passion.  To  bring  about  this  condition,  the  husband 
should  use  every  means  to  stimulate  his  wife's  sex- 
nature  and  increase  her  desire  for  coition.  Here  are 
some  things  he  can  do,  which  will  tend  to  produce 
such  results: 

A  woman's  breasts  are  directly  connected  with 
all  her  reproductive  nerves.     This   is   especially   true 


Sane  Sex  Living  1 1 1 

of  her  nipples.  To  touch  them  is  to  directly  excite 
all  of  her  sex  organs.  The  lips  and  tongue  are  also 
thus  nervously  connected  with  these  vital  parts,  and 
so,  if  the  husband  will  "play"  with  his  wife's  breasts, 
especially  with  her  nipples,  manipulating  them  with 
his  fingers,  or  better  still,  with  his  lips  and  tongue 
— at  the  same  time,  if  he  will  stroke  her  vulva  with 
his  fingers,  especially  the  clitoris,  and  if  she  will  en- 
courage him  to  do  this,  by  holding  her  breast  with 
one  hand,  shaking  it  about  as  her  nipple  is  in  her 
lover's  lips ;  if,  lying  flat  on  her  back,  her  husband  at 
her  right  side,  and  with  his  left  arm  around  her 
waist,  she  will  spread  her  legs  wide  apart,  thus  open- 
ing the  vulva  to  its  utmost,  and  sway  her  hips,  rais- 
ing and  lowering  them  betimes ;  and,  since  she  has  a 
free  hand,  if,  with  this,  she  will  take  her  husband's 
penis  with  it  and  "play"  with  it  as  her  lover  plays 
with  her  vulva — if  they  will  do  this,  the  cases  are 
rare  in  which  passion  will  not  grow  in  the  wife  to 
almost  any  desirable  extent.  Under  such  "courting," 
the  parts  will  all  enlarge,  the  pre-coital  secretion  will 
flow  in  abundance;  and,  in  due  course,  all  will  be 
ready  for  the  second  part  of  the  act.  This  part  of 
coitus  is,  really,  one  of  the  most  enjoyable  of  the 
entire  performance. 

If,  perchance,  the  pre-coital  secretion  should  be 
tardy  in  appearing  on  the  part  of  the  wife,  so  that 
the  vulva  is  dry  as  the  husband  strokes  it,  let  him 
moisten  the  part  with  saliva  from  his  mouth.  To 
do  this,  let  him  moisten  his  fingers  from  his  mouth. 


112  Sane  Sex  Life 

and  transfer  this  to  the  vulva,  and  then  proceed  with 
his  stroking.  This  moistening  the  vulva  with  saliva 
may  be  repeated  several  times,  if  necessary,  always 
until  the  flow  of  pre-coital  fluid  from  the  parts  them- 
selves renders  any  further  moistening  needless.  The 
stroking  of  the  dry  vulva  will  do  little  toward  the 
arousing  of  passion,  or  producing  the  pre-coital 
flow.  But  if  the  parts  be  moistened,  as  above  di- 
rected, both  these  desired  results  will  follow,  except 
in  very  rare  cases. 

And  let  no  one  make  the  mistake  of  thinking  that 
thus  moistening  the  vulva  with  saliva  is  unseemly,  or 
unsanitary.  It  is  neither.  On  the  contrary,  it  is 
nature's  way  of  helping  to  perfection  an  act  which, 
but  for  such  timely  assistance,  might  never  be 
brought  to  a  successful  issue.  As  has  already  been 
noted,  chemically,  saliva  and  the  pre-coital  fluid  are 
almost  identical.  They  are  both  a  natural  secretion 
of  a  mucous  membrane,  are  alkaline  in  reaction,  their 
native  purpose  is  lubrication,  and,  as  a  matter  of 
fact,  the  saliva  is  as  natural  an  application  to  the 
lips  of  the  vulva  as  it  is  to  the  interior  of  the  mouth 
or  throat.  Truth  to  tell,  the  practice  of  applying 
saliva  to  the  genitals  before  coition  is  very  general, 
so  much  so  that  it  might  almost  be  counted  as  in- 
stinctive. It  is  mentioned  here  only  to  remove  any 
prejudice  that  might  linger  in  the  sophisticated  mind 

of  the  reader.     Such  use  of  saliva  is  no  more  to  be 

deprecated   than    its   application    in   a   hundred   other 

ways,  such  as  moistening  the  fingers   to  turn  a  leaf, 


Sane  Sex  Living  113 

of  "licking"  one's  fingers  after  eating  candy.  Such 
use  of  this  fluid  from  the  mouth  might  be  condemned 
by  the  "over-nice,"  but  it  is  quite  universally  prac- 
ticed, and  it  is  neither  unwholesome  nor  unsanitary. 

It  is  sometimes  recommended  that  some  form  of 
oil,  as  sweet  oil  or  vaseline,  be  used  as  an  unguent  for 
anointing  the  parts  before  engaging  in  coitus,  but 
this  practice  cannot  be  recommended.  Oil  is  not  a 
natural  product  of  the  parts  to  which  it  is  applied, 
it  is  chemically  unlike  their  secretions,  and  to  smear 
the  delicate  organs  with  a  fluid  that  is  foreign  to 
their  nature,  is  unwise,  unsanitary,  not  to  say  filthy. 
It  is  like  greasing  the  mouth  to  make  food  slip  down 
easily.  And  it  is  easy  to  understand  how  such  appli- 
cation of  an  unguent  to  the  mouth  would  impair  the 
taste,  dull  the  nerves  of  sensation,  and  greatly  in- 
terfere with  the  native  and  wholesome  uses  of  the 
oral  cavity. 

So  don't  be  afraid  or  ashamed  to  use  saliva  in 
preparing  the  vulva  and  the  vagina  for  the  reception 
of  their  natural  mate. 

And  so,  to  return  to  where  we  left  off,  if  the  wife 
is  slower  timed  than  her  husband,  her  passion  can  be 
greatly  increased  by  the  manipulation  just  de- 
scribed. Indeed,  it  could  be  very  easily  carried  to 
such  length — the  lips  and  tongue  playing  with  the 
nipple,  and  the  finger-stroking  of  the  vulva — that 
the  woman  could  be  brought  to  an  orgasm  without 
the  union  of  the  organs  at  all !  This  is  a  form  of 
masturbation    (this  word  has  a  bad  meaning  attached 


114  Sane  Sex  Life 

to  it,  but  it  is  a  good  word,  as  will  shortly  be  shown, 
and  it  has  its  legitimate  uses)  ;  but,  as  a  preparation 
for  coition,  it  should  not  be  carried  any  further  than 
is  essential  for  bringing  the  laggard  passion  of  the 
woman  up  to  an  equal  tension  of  that  of  her  lover. 
A  few  weeks',  or  months'  practice  will  enable  a  wife 
to  determine  just  how  much  of  this  form  of  "court- 
ing" will  bring  her  to  the  desired  point  of  excite- 
ment; and,  when  this  point  is  reached,  she  should 
invite  her  husband  to  "come  up  over,"  if  the  first 
position  is  to  be  adopted  for  the  rest  of  the  act ;  or, 
she  should  throw  herself  into  her  lover's  arms,  if  the 
second  position  is  used. 

Just  a  little  more — If,  after  getting  into  one  po- 
sition or  the  other,  it  seems  to  the  wife  that  she  is  not 
yet  fairly  abreast  of  her  husband  in  the  intensity  of 
her  passion,  let  her  still  further  seek  to  advance  it, 
as  follows : 

If  the  position  with  the  husband  superior  is 
taken,  let  him,  after  he  has  gotten  into  place  and  be- 
fore the  organs  are  united,  have  his  wife  take  his 
penis  in  her  hand,  and,  as  he  moves  his  hips  up  and 
down,  stroke  her  vulva,  especially  the  clitoris,  with 
the  glans  penis — not  entering  the  vagina  at  once,  but 
continuing  this  form  of  exterior  contact  of  the 
organs,  for  a  longer  or  shorter  time — slipping  past 
the  wide  open  vaginal  mouth,  even  when  the  wife 
raises  her  thighs  and,  as  it  were,  begs  for  an  en- 
trance ;  tantalizing  her  to  the  point  of  distraction — 
till,    finally,    she    will    "take    no    for    an    answer"    no 


Sane  Sex  Living  115 

longer,  but  will,  in  an  ecstacy,  slip  the  penis  into  the 
vagina,  and  thus  consummate  their  union. 

If  she  be  far  enough  abandoned  with  her  passion, 
such  entrance  may  be  made  at  a  single  stroke,  not 
to  say  a  furious  plunge.  But  if  the  vulva  and  vagina 
are  not  yet  fully  dilated,  the  entrance  should  be 
carefully  made,  gently  made,  as  she  can  bear  it,  as 
she  wishes  it  to  be. 

Sometimes,  yes,  not  infrequently,  in  this  position, 
the  external  stroking  of  the  organs  may  be  con- 
tinued to  the  very  verge  of  the  orgasm,  so  that, 
especially  if  the  entrance  can  be  made,  as  it  were,  in 
a  frenzy  of  passionate  delight,  the  organs  coming 
into  full  length  union  at  a  single  impulse,  or  rushing 
together — then  the  simultaneous  climax  may  be 
reached  with  one  or  two  in-and-out  motions — or, 
perhaps  the  single  master-plunge  may  win  the  goal 
instanter!  If  so,  a  consummation  devoutly  to  be 
wished  has  been  successfully  reached ! 

Again,  if  the  wife  is  slow,  and  the  man  is  quick, 
in  this  play  for  "getting  together,"  it  will  enable  the 
man  to  greatly  extend  and  protract  what  might  be 
called  the  time  of  his  possible  retention,  if  he  can 
keep  the  foreskin  over  the  glans  penis.  Some  men 
cannot  do  this.  If  they  have  been  circumcised,  of 
course  they  cannot!  But  if  the  glans  penis  can  be 
covered  with  the  foreskin  during  all  this  playing 
together,  it  will  enable  the  husband  to  prolong  his 
"retentional  time"  far  beyond  what  he  otherwise 
could.     Some  men  have  the  power  of  "retaining"  to 


116  Sane  Sex  Life 

almost  any  length  of  time  by  the  exercise  of  their 
will  power,  and  so  they  can  zvait  for  their  wives.  If 
the  wife  is  slower  timed  than  the  husband,  he  should 
carefully  cultivate  the  "art  of  retaining"  and  so  w^ait 
for  her.  To  do  this  succcssfidly  will  greatly  increase 
married  happiness. 

This  same  remark  (keeping  the  gland  covered) 
applies  with  equal  force  to  the  possibilities  of  the 
man's  retention  after  the  organs  are  united,  and 
all  through  the  third  part  of  the  act.  If  the  penis 
can  enter  the  vagina  with  its  "natural  cap  on,"  the 
husband  can  give  his  wife  the  pleasure  of  many  times 
the  amount  of  in-and-out  motion  than  he  could  other- 
wise bestow  upon  her.  And  if  the  wife  is  the  slower 
of  the  two  (as  is  generally  the  case)  she  will  greatly 
appreciate  such  a  favor,  and  will  repay  it  a  thou- 
sand FOLD  by  the  responsive,  reciprocal  motions  which 
she  will  LAVISH  upon  her  considerate  lover. 

This  is  an  item  of  almost  supreme  importance — 
this  "keeping  the  cap  on"  the  penis,  during  the  act, 
if  the  wife  is  slower  than  the  husband — if  they  need 
to  have  a  care,  to  insure  their  "getting  off  together." 

And  here  is  a  curious  fact,  which  would  seem  to 
show  that  Mother  Nature  has  especially  provided  a 
blissful  reward  for  both  the  husband  and  wife  who 
will  be  careful  on  this  point.  Thus,  if  the  husband 
will  be  careful  to  have  the  glans  penis  covered  with 
the  foreskin  (and,  of  course,  this  can  never  be,  if  the 
organs  are  united  when  the  vulva  and  vagina  are 
dry)    when   it  enters   the   vagina,  and   will   so  engage 


Sane  Sex  Living  1  ]  7 

in  the  in-and-out  motion  that  it  will  stay  covered  as 
the  third  act  progresses — if  this  is  done,  when  the 
climax  comes,  if  the  two  "spend  together,"  the  womb 
will  open  its  mouth  as  it  were,  clasp  the  foreskin, 
slip  it  back  over  the  gland  so  that,  when  the  supreme 
instant  comes,  the  naked  gland  will  be  in  the  most 
direct  and  blissful  contact  with  the  most  sensitive 
part  of  the  uterus !  This  is  a  most  wonderful  pro- 
vision of  nature,  and  to  utilize  it,  and  enjoy  it  to  its 
utmost,  is  the  maximum  of  human  delight ! 

Again,  if  after  the  organs  are  well  together,  in  the 
man-superior  position,  and  the  in-and-out  motion 
has  begun,  it  should  be  found  that  the  wife  is  still 
behind  in  the  game,  she  can  gain  greatly  in  "catching 
up,"  if  she  is  permitted  to  originate"  the  larger  part  of 
the  motion.  To  enable  her  to  do  this,  let  her  hus- 
band hold  his  body  quite  well  above  her,  so  that  she 
can  have  plenty  of  freedom  to  move  her  hips  as  she 
may  choose  to.  Added  to  this,  if  the  husband  will, 
in  large  measure,  "hold  still,"  and  keep  his  penis  in 
such  position  that  it  presses  against  the  upper  part 
of  the  vulva,  that  is  against  the  clitoris,  (as  the 
phrase  goes,  if  he  will  "ride  high")  and  then  permit 
his  zvifc  to  make  "long  strokes,"  sliding  the  organs 
together  for  their  full  possible  length,  with  the 
clitoris  in  constant  contact  with  the  penis,  during 
the  whole  of  each  stroke — all  of  this  will  greatly  and 
rapidly  increase  her  passions  and  bring  her  to  the 
climax. 

Or,   as   a   variation    from    this,   if   the   organs   can 


118  Sane  Sex  Life 

be  united  to  their  fullest  possible  limit,  so  that  the 
base  of  the  penis  presses  firmly  against  the  Mons 
Veneris,  and  the  clitoris  and  labiae  almost  clasp  their 
mate ;  and  then,  in  this  position,  if  the  husband  will 
maintain  the  status  quo,  while  she  lifts  her  hips  hard 
against  his,  and  swings  them  about,  in  a  sort  of  cir- 
cular motion  "round  and  round,"  as  it  were — this 
will  also  greatly  increase  her  passion,  and  soon  bring 
her  to  the  climax. 

In  both  these  last  described  ways  of  courting,  the 
husband  should  be  extra  careful  not  to  permit  the 
weight  of  his  body  to  press  down  heavily  upon  his 
wife.  He  should  wholly  sustain  himself  on  his  elbows 
and  knees,  and  permit  her  to  lift  herself,  at  least  her 
hips,  by  the  help  of  her  arms  around  his  waist.  This 
is  no  hardship  for  the  husband,  if  he  be  a  true  lover. 
For  is  he  not  strong,  and  what  is  his  strength  for  but 
to  delight  his  sweetheart?  A  true,  devoted,  virile  and 
manly  lover  is  always  at  the  service  of  his  sweetheart ! 
To  delight  her,  is  to  doubly  delight  himself.  This  is 
another  point  of  which  mere  animals  know  nothing. 
There  is  nothing  in  all  their  nature  which  responds 
to  the  like  of  this,  in  any  way.  The  whole  experience 
is  human ;  it  is  productive  of  a  joy,  of  a  spiritual  ele- 
vation, which  mere  animality  knows  nothing  of — can 
know  nothing  of. 

Playing  thus  together,  courting  each  other  thus 
(For,  through  all  these  actions,  a  line  of  complete 
mutualncss  must  run!  The  husband  may  seem  to  be 
specially  accommodating  himself,   and  all  he  does,  to 


Sane  Sex  Living  119 

his  wife's  whims  or  necessities;  but,  even  so,  this  will 
be  more  of  a  delight  to  him  than  it  is  to  her,  viewed 
from  the  spiritual  plane,  on  the  principle  that  "it  is 
more  blessed  to  give  than  to  receive" — and  no  truer 
words  than  these  were  ever  spoken — while,  at  the 
same  time,  the  wife,  though  seeming  only  to  be  grat- 
ifying herself,  to  be  reaching  after  what  she  alone 
desires,  yet,  as  a  matter  of  fact,  by  her  very  so  doing 
— and  the  more  perfectly,  completely,  she  does  this, 
the  better — she  is  gratifying  and  delighting  her  hus- 
band to  the  utmost  possible  limit)  courting  each 
other  thus,  the  lovers  will  learn  to  "time"  themselves 
together,  perfectly,  each  knowing  just  when  the 
other  is  fully  ready,  by  a  sort  of  spiritual  conscious- 
ness, as  it  were,  and  so  a  perfect  climax  can  be 
reached. 

Take  time,  let  love  rule  and  direct;  banish 
ALL  selfishness;  Let  the  husband  keep  his  head,  and 

THE     WIFE     UTTERLY     LOSE     HERS,     throwing    it     tO    the 

winds,  to  be  wholly  swept  away  by  the  whirlwind  of 
her  passion ;  feeling  free,  delighting,  to  let  it  go,  go, 
go,  no  one  cares  where  1  Do  these  things,  and  married 
life  will  be  glorious!  Of  such  is  the  kingdom  of 
heaven,  for  the  truly  wedded  lovers ! 

This  will  be  "all  Greek,"  or  "foolishness"  to  the 
selfish  and  materially-minded ;  but  to  the  truly  wise, 
it  will  be  life  immeasurable.  This  is  a  paradox,  but 
it  takes  a  paradox  to  tell  the  greatest  truths ! 

So  much  for  the  act  of  coitus  in  the  man-superior 
position,  when  the  wife  is  slower  timed  than  the  hus- 


120  Sane  Sex  Life 

band  and  they  adopt  this  method,  and  the  accom- 
panying means  for  "getting  together."  Now,  if  the 
other  position  is  taken,  that  of  the  wife  semi-supe- 
rior, in  the  husband's  arms,  as  he  lies  partly  on  his 
back  and  partly  on  his  left  side,  etc.,  here  are  a  few 
points  to  be  noted  to  advantage. 

Still  assuming  that  the  wife  is  the  slower-timed 
of  the  two,  it  is  entirely  possible  that  when  she  has 
"come  over"  and  has  gotten  into  position,  that  she 
may  not  yet  be  fully  ready  for  the  union  of  the 
organs.  The  very  time  that  it  takes  for  her  to  get 
into  position,  the  changing  of  the  position  of  her 
body,  from  her  back  to  her  right  side ;  the  temporary 
cessation  of  the  stroking  of  the  vulva  by  her  hus- 
band's fingers ;  all  these  things  will  have  a  tendency 
to  retard  her  passion,  for  the  time  being,  and  all 
this  loss  ought  to  be  made  good,  if  not  added  to, 
before  the  second  part  of  the  act  is  entered  upon. 
And,  in  this  position,  all  this  can  most  happily  be 
brought  about,  as  follows  : — 

Ikying  in  each  other's  arms  in  this  second  de- 
scribed position,  the  organs  naturally  come  into  con- 
tact in  such  a  way  as  to  make  the  further  excita- 
tion of  the  vulva  and  clitoris  most  natural  and  easy. 
The  spreading  of  the  wife's  hips,  caused  by  her 
throwing  her  left  leg  over  her  husband's  right  and 
drawing  up  of  her  left  knee,  opens  the  vulva  wide ; 
and,  at  the  same  time,  the  penis,  from  the  very  nature 
of  its  position,  will  lie  at  full  length  in  the  opening, 
thus  exposed — not  entering  the  vagina,  but  remaining 
"without  the  gate"  as  yet. 


Sane  Sex  Living  121 

By  this  time  the  vulva  will  have  become  enlarged 
and  elongated,  the  lips  full  and  the  clitoris  erect,  all 
in  a  state  of  tumescence,  and  all  covered  with  the 
pre-coital  fluid ;  the  lips  so  distended  that,  when  thus 
parted,  they  form  the  sides  of  a  labial  canal,  as  it 
were  (a  delectable,  and  most  delicately  smooth-walled 
channel).  Now,  in  this  extended  condition,  which  is 
fully  as  long  as  the  penis,  from  end  to  end  of  its  path- 
way of  dalliance,  every  part  covered  with  the  most 
delicatelv  sensitive  nerve-filaments,  and  all  of  these 
in  an  ecstasy  of  keenness  to  the  sense  of  touch,  and 
in  the  most  perfect  of  "love's  strolling  way," — if 
the  penis,  as  it  were,  stands  up  full  and  strong,  in 
such  fashion  that  it  touches  the  vulva  at  every  point, 
both  inner  and  outer  labiae,  the  clitoris  and  all,  for 
a  space  of  five  or  six  inches  in  length ;  while  the  pro- 
truded and  well-moistened  lips  of  the  vulva  as  it  were 
reach  out,  and  clasp  themselves  at  least  half  way 
around  their  suitor,  laving  him  with  their  luscious 
kisses — in  this  position,  the  wife  being  partly  above, 
and  so,  perfectly  free  to  move  her  "love  way"  as  she 
will,  she  can  slide  the  pathway  itself  a  full  six  or 
more  inches,  up  and  down,  stroking  all  the  area 
against  the  penis  as  she  moves ;  that,  again,  by  its 
very  position,  being  held  firmly  in  contact  by  its 
stiffness  and  stoutness ;  the  glans  penis  throbbing 
lustily  against  the  clitoris  when  the  two  meet  at  the 
extreme  of  the  wife's  up-stroke;  she,  pausing  an  in- 
stant, just  then,  to  more  perfectly  enjoy  the  sensa- 
tion; the  penis  slipping  past  the  now  wide  open 
vaginal    mouth,    which    reaches    out    at    every    down 


122  Sane  Sex  Life 

stroke  to  engulf  it — dallying,  delaying,  coquetting, 
tantalizing,  both  man  and  woman;  playing  the  game 
in  almost  a  swoon  of  ecstatic  delight — under  such 
conditions  the  wife's  passion  will  rush  to  its  fullest 
development,  till,  when  she  will,  she  can  drop  her 
vagina  upon  the  penis  in  such  a  way  that  the  two 
will  be  made  one,  in  absolute  perfection,  on  a  single 
move,  and  from  this  to  the  finish  it  is  but  a  few  mo- 
tions distant. 

In  some  respects  this  manner  of  coitus,  and  this 
means  of  "going  off  together"  is  unsurpassed. 

Which  leads  to  the  remark  that  this  position  is 
sometimes  the  best  for  the  full  completion  of  the  act. 
It  is  the  easiest  of  all  positions,  the  least  fatiguing. 
And  if  the  wife  is  tired,  or  not  quite  "up  to  grade," 
she  can  enjoy  an  embrace  of  this  sort  without  fatigue, 
even  to  the  full.  For  the  organs  can  be  united  in  this 
position  quite  perfectly,  though  the  penis  will  not 
penetrate  the  vagina  to  as  great  a  length  as  in  the 
other  position.  Still,  the  climax  can  be  perfectly 
reached  in  this  way,  and  it  is  one  of  the  best  ways  to 
make  sure  of  perfect  "timing,"  of  "spending"  ex- 
actly together,  which  is  greatly  in  its  favor. 

If  there  is  a  mis-matching  of  the  organs,  the 
vagina  of  the  wife  being  too  short  for  her  husband's 
penis,  this  is  a  most  excellent  way  for  meeting  and 
overcoming  that  difficulty. 

This  naturally  leads  to  another  matter,  as  fol- 
lows:— It  might  seeni  to  the  reader  that  the  diflFerent 
"strokings"  of  the  vulva,  with  the  fingers,  or  the 
penis,   all   the  contact  being   outside  the   vagina,   that 


Sane  Sex  Living  123 

all  of  these  methods  of  excitation  smack  of  masturba- 
tion, and  so  are  of  doubtful  rightness.  In  reply  to 
which,  note  the  following: 

The  entire  affair  of  coition,  in  humanity,  has 
already  been  shown  to  be  something  wholly  above  and 
beyond  mere  animality.  It  is  the  exercise  of  func- 
tions that  belong  only  to  mankind,  and  hence  is  not 
amenable  to  any  merely  animal  laws  or  restrictions ! 
It  is  the  source  of  numberless  human  joys,  and  any 
method  of  engaging  in  the  act  of  mutual  delight,  that 
is  of  mutually  happifying,  is  legitimate  and  alto- 
gether right.  And  so,  if  the  parties  choose  to  increase 
their  mutual  delight,  if  the  husband  wishes  to  arouse 
and  intensify  his  wife's  passion  by  stroking  her  vulva 
with  his  saliva-moistened  fingers,  and  she  wishes  him 
to  do  so,  such  act  is  as  right  and  as  wholesome  as  is 
coitus  in  the  by-some-supposed-to-be  only  way  of  its 
exercise.    Let  this  never  be  doubted. 

The  fact  is,  this  whole  matter  of  sexual  excitation 
by  means  of  the  hand,  or  in  other  ways  than  the  union 
of  the  organs,  has  received  a  black  eye  at  the  hands 
of  the  would  be  purists,  which  it  in  no  way  deserves. 
As  already  noted,  the  word  masturbation  has  been 
fastened  to  such  acts,  and  then,  any  and  every  form 
of  it  has  been  condemned  far  beyond  what  the  facts 
warrant,  till  the  minds  of  the  rank  and  file  are  wholly 
misled  in  the  premises !  When  one  looks  at  the  situa- 
tion from  the  point  of  view  which  insists  that  all  the 
sex  functions  should  be  under  the  control  of  the  will, 
then  light  is  thrown  upon  the  entire  subject.  Seen  in 
this  way,  any  form  of  sex  stimulation  or  auto-erotism 


124  Sane  Sex  Life 

even  (auto-erotism  means  self  sex-excitation)  which 
is  NOT  CARRIED  TO  EXCESS,  is  right  and  wholesome! 
But  we  have  been  taught  the  contrary  of  this  for  so 
long  that  it  is  difficult  for  us  to  realize  that  it  is  true. 
But  it  is! 

Hence,  if  it  should  sometimes  happen  that  the 
husband  should  arrive  at  the  climax  before  the  w\ie 
does,  and  he  could  not  bring  her  to  an  orgasm  by 
excitation  with  his  spent  penis,  it  would  be  perfectly 
right  for  him  to  substitute  his  fingers,  and  satisfy 
her  in  that  zvay.  Of  course,  this  would  not  be  as  sat- 
isfying to  her  as  it  would  have  been  could  she  have 
met  him  simultaneously,  but  it  is  far  better  than  for 
her  not  to  be  entirely  gratified!  Many  a  woman 
SUFFERS  ALL  NIGHT  LONG  with  unsatisfied  desire,  her 
organs  congested  and  tumescent,  because  she  has  been 
left  UNSATISFIED  by  a  husband  zvho  has  spent  before 
she  zvas  ready,  and  then  left  her  !  Such  cases 
might  be  entirely  relieved,  if  the  parties  knew  the 
truth,  and  were  not  too  ignorant,  or  prejudiced,  or 
ashamed  to  do  what  should  he  done  to  make  the  best 
of  a  situation. 

Of  course,  no  husband  should  make  a  practice  of 
gratifying  himself  fully,  and  then  bringing  his  wife 
to  the  climax  with  his  fingers.  .Such  a  ])ractice  would 
be  selfish  and  wrong.  ^  But  as  an  emergency  way  of 
escape,  the  mctiiod  is  to  be  commended. 

Of  course,  as  has  already  been  explained,  the  hus- 
band always  has  the  advantage,  that  he  can  be 
brought  to  the  orgasm  by  the  in.sertion  of  the  penis 
into  the  vagina,  after  his  wife  has  spent,  if  she  ar- 


Sane  Sex  Living  125 


rives  first,  since  her  organs  detumesce  slowly,  and 
their  distended  condition  permits  such  action  on  his 
part,  for  some  time  after  she  has  passed  the  climax. 
But  not  so  with  the  husband.  Once  spent,  his  penis 
shrinks  to  limpness,  almost  immediately,  and  in  this 
condition  it  cannot  satisfy  the  wife  in  the  least,  much 
less  bring  her  to  an  orgasm. 

Again,  if  for  any  reason,  the  wife  should  be  un- 
able to  meet  her  husband  in  coitus  proper,  because  of 
weakness,  or  slight  illness,  or  perhaps  some  tempo- 
rary soreness  of  the  parts,  it  would  help  the  situation 
wonderfully  if  she  would  take  his  penis  in  her  hand 
and  "play  with  it"  till  he  spent.  He  would  love  her 
for  it,  kiss  her  for  it,  give  her  his  soul  for  it ! 

//  a  bride  and  bridegroom  knew  enough  to  intro- 
duce each  other  to  the  delights  of  an  orgasm  by 
"spending"  each  other  by  external  excitation  of  the 
organs  with  their  hands  a  few  times  before  they 
united  the  organs  at  all,  it  would  be  to  their  lasting 
well  being.  This  is  especially  true  for  the  bride.  If 
her  lover  would  take  her  in  his  arms,  even  with  all 
her  clothes  on,  as  she  sat  on  his  lap,  in  their  bridal 
chamber,  alone,  and  stroke  her  vulva  till  she  "spent'' 
the  chances  are  many  to  one  that  he  would  have  in- 
troduced her  to  such  a  joy  that  she  would  never  for- 
get it,  all  her  life.  Surely,  such  method  is  infinitely 
superior  to  raping  a  bride,  as  is  so  frequently  done 
by  the  ignorant  or  goody-good  young  husband,  who 
"stands  upon  his  rights!" 

Indeed,  if  a  bride  to  be,  who  was  so  innocent  or 
ignorant    of    her   own    sex    possibilities    that    she    had 


126  Sane  Sex  Life 

\ 

never   experienced    an    orgasm — had    never    "spent" —  >* 

could  be  "put  wise"  before  her  bridal  night,  if  she 
could  be  instructed  enough  to  lead  her  to  engage  in 
some  form  of  auto-erotism,  bringing  herself  to  an 
orgasm  with  her  own  hand,  just  for  the  sake  of  the 
experience  it  would  give  her,  and  so  that  she  would 
have  some  clear  idea  of  what  she  really  wanted,  he- 
fore  she  went  into  the  arms  of  her  lover — if  she  could 
do  this,  in  the  right  mental  attitude,  it  would  he 
greatly  to  her  well-heing,  a  worthy  and  valuable  addi- 
tion to  her  stock  of  knozvledge  of  herself  and  of  the 
powers  that  are  latent  zvithin  her.  Her  alleged  loss 
of  innocence  by  such  act  would  be  as  nothing  com- 
pared with  the  wisdom  she  would  gain  by  the  experi- 
ence. When  innocence  leads  to  harmful  results,  it 
is  time  it  was  ended,  and  that  knowledge  takes  its  place  t 

As  for  the  husband,  the  chances  are  not  one  in  a 
million  that  he  will  be  ignorant  of  what  an  orgasm 
is  like  before  he  marries,  since  all  healthy  young  men 
"spend"  at  least  once  a  week,  automatically,  if  not 
otherwise ! 

Let  it  be  said  further,  that  auto-erotism,  self- 
spending,  may  be  practiced  by  both  men  and  women, 
to  their  healthful  benefit,  when  sexual  exercise  can- 
not be  secured  in  any  other  way.  It  is  only  when 
carried  to  excess  that  such  action  is  in  any  way  harm- 
ful. The  only  danger  is,  that,  the  individual  being 
alone  and  having  all  the  means  for  self-gratification 
in  his  or  her  own  hands,  so  to  speak,  it  is  quite  pos- 
sible to  indulge  in  the  action  too  freely,  which,  of 
course,  leads  to  bad  results.     But  the  act  itself  is  not 


Sane  Sex  Living  127 

bad.  On  the  contrary,  when  kept  within  bounds,  it 
is  healthful  and  wholesome. 

There  are  many  unmarried  women,  maiden  ladies, 
and  especially  widows,  who  would  greatly  improve 
their  health  if  they  practiced  some  form  of  auto-ero- 
tism, occasionally.  When  husbands  and  wives  are 
forced  to  be  much  away  from  each  other,  it  is  right 
for  them  to  occasionally  satisfy  themselves  in  this 
way,  their  souls  filled  with  loving  thoughts  of  the 
absent  one  the  while. 

There  is  any  amount  of  nonsense  current  about 
auto-erotism.  As  a  matter  of  fact,  all  boys  mastur- 
bate, and  many  girls  also.  Some  authors  claim  that 
more  than  half  of  all  women  engage  in  some  form  of 
auto-erotism,  at  some  time  in  their  lives,  and  the  esti- 
mate is  probably  too  low  rather  than  too  high.  But 
unless  they  carry  the  act  to  excess,  they  are  guilty  of 
no  wrong.  Not  infrequently,  they  may  make  the  act  a 
means  of  great  good  to  themselves.  The  sex  organs  are 
alive!  They  constantly  secrete  fluids  that  need  to  be 
excreted,  as  all  other  organs  of  the  body  do.  They 
ought  to  be  relieved,  as  their  nature  requires  they 
should  be.  If  this  cannot  be  accomplished  as  the 
most  natural  way  prescribes,  it  is  only  right  to  do  the 
next  best  thing.  Only,  it  should  not  be  carried  to  ex- 
cess. Be  temperate  in  all  things.  Gratify  yourself, 
but  don't  ABUSE  yourself.  Auto-erotism,  or  mastur- 
bation, should  never  be  permitted  to  become  "self- 
abuse,"  nor  is  there  any  need  that  it  should  ever  do 
so.  It  should  be  self-upbuilding,  not  self -degrading. 
Rightly  used  it  can  be  thus. 


IX 


COITUS   RESERVATUS 


THIS  brings  us  to  another  item  in  the  matter  of 
sexual  exercise  on  the  part  of  the  husband  and 
wife,  as  follows: — 

It  should  be  the  constant  aim  and  endeavor  of 
both  parties  to  continually  lift  all  sex  affairs  above 
the  plane  of  animality,  mere  physical  gratification, 
into  the  realm  of  mental  and  spiritual  delight.  To 
this  end,  let  it  be  said  at  once  that  such  a  condition 
can  be  reached,  in  the  greatest  degree,  by  the  prac- 
tice of  what  is  known,  in  scientific  terms,  as  "coitus 
reservatus,"  which,  translated,  means  going  only  part 
of  the  way  in  the  act,  and  not  carrying  it  to  its  cli- 
max, the  orgasm.  Described  in  terms  with  which  the 
reader  is  now  familiar,  it  means,  carrying  the  act 
only  through  the  first  and  second  stages,  the  "court- 
ing" stage,  and  the  union  of  the  organs,  and  stop- 
ping there !  This  may  seem,  at  first  thought,  neither 
right  nor  wise,  but,  as  a  matter  of  fact,  it  is  both,  as 
thousands  of  most  ha]:)pily  married  people  have 
proved. 

Going  a  bit  into  details,  this  act  of  "reservatus" 
really  unites  the  first  two  parts  of  the  act  into  a 
common  whole,  making  it  simply  one  continuous  piece 
of    "courting,"    merely    that,    and    nothing   more.      It 

128 


Sane  Sex  Living  \29 

is  almost  entirely  a  mental  and  spiritual  love-em- 
brace; and  in  its  perfection,  it  exalts  the  husband  and 
wife  to  the  topmost  heights  of  mental  and  spiritual 
enjoyment  and  expression. 

To  engage  in  this  form  of  coitus,  not  nearly  the 
effort  should  be  made  to  arouse  the  sexual  passions 
of  either  of  the  parties,  as  has  already  been  described 
as  fitting  for  complete  coitus.  The  orgasm  is  not  the 
desideratum  in  this  case,  but  it  is  just  a  delightful 
expression  of  mutual  love.  It  is  a  sort  of  prolonged 
and  all-embracing  kiss,  in  which  the  sex  organs  are 
included  as  well  as  the  lips.  They  kiss  each  other, 
as  the  lips  kiss  each  other.  It  is  "courting,"  par 
excellence,  without  the  hampering  of  clothes  or  con- 
ventionality of  any  kind. 

In  this  act.  the  lovers  simply  drift,  petting  each 
other,  chatting  with  each  other,  visiting,  loving, 
caressing  in  any  one  or  all  of  a  thousand  ways.  The 
hands  "wander  idly  over  the  body,"  the  husband's 
right  hand  being  specially  free  and  in  perfect  posi- 
tion to  stroke  his  wife's  back,  her  hips,  her  legs,  and 
pet  her  from  top  to  toe. 

As  this  part  of  the  act  continues,  it  is  the  most 
natural  thing  in  the  world  that  the  sex  organs  should 
tumesce,  and  that  there  should  be  a  flow  of  both  pros- 
tatic and  pre-coital  fluids.  That  is,  the  organs  qui- 
etly and  naturally  make  themselves  ready  for  meet- 
ing. And  when  they  are  duly  tumescent,  are  prop- 
erly enlarged  and  lubricated,  let  the  wife  come  over 
into  her  lover's  arms,  in  the  second  position  de- 
scribed,  and    the   organs   be    slipped    together   easily, 


130  Sane  Sex  Life 

delightfully,  and  then,  let  them  stay  so,  fully  together, 
btit  do  not  go  on  tvith  the  third  part  of  the  act,  the 
motion  of  the  organs.  Just  lie  still  and  enjoy  the 
embrace,  kiss.  chat,  court,  love,  dream,  enjoy ! 

This  union  can  be  protracted  to  almost  any  length, 
after  the  lovers  learn  how  to  do  it.  Sometimes  the 
organs  may  be  together  only  a  few  minutes,  some- 
times for  an  hour,  or  even  longer.  If  the  parties  get 
tired,  or  sleepy,  part  the  organs,  kiss  good-night,  and 
go  to  sleep.  Although  it  is  not  at  all  uncommon  for 
such  lovers,  who  have  fully  learned  this  art,  to  go  to 
sleep  thus,  in  each  other's  arms,  their  sex  organs 
united;  and,  in  this  position,  have  the  organs  detu- 
mesce,  the  penis  grow  limp  and  slip  out  of  the  vagina 
of  its  own  accord,  while  the  vagina  also  grows  small 
and  the  clitoris  subsides.  This  experience  is  most  de- 
lightful, and  if  once  experienced,  once  well  mastered 
by  the  husband  and  wife,  it  will  continually  grow  in 
favor,  to  their  mutual  benefit. 

This  method  is  of  special  service  during  the  "un- 
free  time."  If  rightly  used,  it  will  not  tend  to  in- 
crease the  desire  for  "spending,"  but  it  will,  on  the 
contrary,  allay  and  satisfy  the  sexual  desires,  most 
perfectly.  If.  while  learning  how,  sometimes  the 
inexperienced  should  "get  run  away  with,"  and  feel 
that  it  is  better  to  go  on  and  have  the  climax,  all 
right.  But,  as  time  goes  on,  the  practice  of  carrying 
the  act  only  to  the  end  of  the  second  part,  will  grow, 
and  in  due  time  be  well  established.  Those  who  have 
mastered    this   wholesome   and    loving    art    will    some- 


Sane  Sex  Living  131 

times  meet  in  this  way  a  score  of  times  during  a 
month  or  so,  without  once  coming  to  the  climax.  Such 
meeting  can  be  as  often  as  the  parties  choose,  and 
of  as  long,  or  as  short  duration  as  they  elect.  It  is 
often  an  excellent  way  to  say  "good-night" ;  and  if, 
on  waking  in  the  morning,  there  is  time  before  rising 
for  a  "little  court,"  this  slipping  the  organs  together, 
for  "just  a  minute,"  is  a  most  excellent  way  to  begin 
the  day.  The  art  is  worth  learning,  and  most  people 
can  learn  it,  if  they  try,  and  are  of  the  right  spirit! 

To  go  back  a  little:  In  speaking  of  mutual  mas- 
turbation on  the  part  of  the  husband  and  wife,  this 
method  of  satisfying  the  sex  nature  is  of  great  value, 
sometimes,  especially  for  use  during  the  unfree  time. 
If,  during  these  two  weeks,  the  parties  get  "waked 
up,"  and  feel  the  need  of  sex  exercise,  they  can  sat- 
isfy each  other  with  their  hands  in  a  way  that  will 
be  a  great  relief  to  each.  This  is  specially  true  for 
the  husband ;  and  a  wife,  who  is  enough  of  a  woman 
to  thus  meet  her  husband's  sex-needs,  with  her  hand, 
when  it  is  not  expedient  for  him  to  meet  her  other- 
wise, is  a  wife  to  worship ! 

Sometimes,  during  the  five  days  of  menstruation, 
during  which  time  the  union  of  the  organs  is  deemed 
not  best,  the  wife  can  thus  help  her  lover  with  her 
hand,  to  the  delight  and  benefit.  Let  love  direct  the 
way  here,  and  all  will  be  well. 

And  here  is  a  curious  fact:  The  hand  of  the 
opposite  sex  will  produce  effects  on  the  genitals  of 
the  other  which  will  not  be  produced  in  any  other 
way.     Thus,  a  man  may  hold  his   penis  in   his  own 


132  Sane  Sex  Life 

hand  for  a  given  length  of  time,  longer  or  shorter, 
and  no  result  will  be  effected,  no  secretion  of  pros- 
tate fluid  be  made,  at  all.  But  let  his  wife  take  his 
penis  in  her  hand  for  the  same  length  of  time,  and 
the  flow  of  prostatic  fluid  will  at  once  take  place. 
This  is  true  whether  the  penis  be  erect  or  detumes- 
cent.  If  the  wife  will  hold  her  husband's  Hmp  penis 
in  her  hand  for  but  a  few  minutes,  even  though  the 
organ  remains  limp,  the  flow  of  prostatic  fluid  will 
take  place!  The  same  is  true  with  regard  to  the  hus- 
band's putting  his  hand  on  his  wife's  vulva.  Should 
she  hold  her  hand  there,  no  pre-coital  fluid  would  be 
secreted.  With  her  husband's  hand  there,  the  flow 
would  at  once  begin. 

This  is  a  remarkable  physical  and  psychological 
phenomenon  and  it  is  one  especially  worthy  of  note. 
It  is  this  fact  that  makes  mutual  masturbation  far 
superior  to  auto-erotism.  A  husband  can  thus  sat- 
isfy a  wife  with  his  fingers,  or  a  wife  her  husband 
with  her  hand,  far  better  than  either  could  bring 
himself  or  herself  to  the  climax  alone.  This  point  is 
of  great  import,  in  considering  many  of  the  sex  acts 
of  husband  and  wife. 

As  a  rule,  let  the  husband  and  wife  do  whatever 
their  desire  prompts  or  suggests,  and  just  as  they 
feel  they  would  like  to.  Only  this,  let  all  be  in  mod- 
eration.   Carry  nothing  to  excess! 

Which  suggests  the  question  often  asked :  How 
frequently  may  coitus  be  engaged  in?  The  answer 
is,  just  as  often  as  is  desired  by  both  parties,  hut 
never  to   the  point   of  zvcariness  or  depletion   of  the 


Sane  Sex  Living  133 

physical,  mental  or  spiritual  body.  Use  good  sense 
here  as  elsewhere.  We  eat  when  we  are  hungry,  but 
it  is  wrong  to  gorge  oneself  with  food.  The  same 
rule  holds  with  regard  to  sex  exercise.  Satisfy  the 
calls  of  nature,  but  never  overdo  the  matter,  be 
TEMPERATE,  MANLY,  WOMANLY !  Don't  be  afraid  or 
ashamed  to  do  what  your  desire  and  your  best  judg- 
ment say  is  right.  Use  common  sense,  and  you  will  not 
go  wrong. 

And  don't  wear  each  other  out,  either  both  to- 
gether, or  the  one  the  other.  Many  men  insist  on 
their  rights  (they  have  no  rights)  and  greatly 
debilitate  themselves  by  excess  of  coition  with  their 
wives.  Per  contra,  there  are  some  women  who  wear 
the  lives  out  of  their  husbands  by  the  excessive  calls 
they  make  upon  them  for  sex-gratification.  In  the 
latter  case,  a  man  will  "go  to  pieces"  much  faster 
than  a  woman  who  is  over-taxed.  To  satisfy  such  a 
woman,  a  man  must  spend  at  least  once  every  time 
his  wife  calls  on  him.  This  draws  on  his  vital  fluids,  at 
every  embrace ;  but,  as  has  been  stated,  there  is  no 
escape  of  vital  fluids  from  the  woman,  when  she 
spends,  and  so  she  can  reach  and  pass  the  orgasm, 
time  and  again,  and  still  not  have  her  vitality  taxed. 
Indeed,  in  some  cases,  the  oftener  a  woman  spends, 
the  more  animated,  robust  and  healthful  she  becomes. 
In  case  unmatched  people  meet  as  husband  and  wife, 
they  should  do  their  best  to  adjust  themselves  to 
each  other's  condition,  keeping  always  in  mind  the 
best  welfare,  each  of  the  other. 

There  are  records  of  women  who  delight  to  spend 


134  Sane  Sex  Life 

a  dozen  times  in  a  single  night.  One  queen  made  a 
law  that  every  man  should  cohabit  with  his  wife  at 
least  seven  times  each  night.  Of  course,  she  was  an 
abnormal  woman,  though  the  author  once  knew  a 
good  orthodox  deacon  who  would  have  been  delighted 
to  live  under  the  rule  of  such  a  law,  for  seven  times 
a  night  was  the  limit  his  wife  imposed  upon  him.  He 
was  also  abnormal. 

Luther  said  twice  a  week  was  the  rule  for  coitus, 
and  this  is  a  very  common  practice.  No  absolute  rule 
can  be  given,  however,  except  for  each  couple  to  act 
as  they  feel,  keeping  always  within  the  bounds  of 
common  sense  and  true  temperance. 

There  are  some  men  and  women  so  constituted, 
nervously,  or  by  temperament,  that  they  are  obliged 
to  rigorously  limit  their  acts  of  coition.  Some  men 
cannot  engage  in  the  act  more  than  once  or  twice  a 
month  and  maintain  their  health.  For  them,  the  act 
draws  on  their  vitality  so  severely  that  it  quite  up- 
sets them,  in  almost  every  case.  During  the  act,  they 
are  subjected  to  nervous  shocks,  they  "see  stars," 
and  undergo  rigors  and  nervous  sweats  which  are 
severely  debilitating.  Often,  too,  they  will  lie  awake 
all  night  after  engaging  in  the  act,  and  be  more  or 
less  of  a  wreck  for  a  day  or  two  afterwards. 

Some  women,  too,  are  of  a  similar  nature  of  or- 
ganization, and  undergo  similar  experiences.  Of 
course,  in  all  such  cases,  unusual  care  should  be  taken 
never  to  reach  the  \K>mt  of  excess. 

It  is  unfortunate  if  i)eople  are  married  who  are 
ill-matched    in    this    regard,    especially   so   if    the   dif- 


Sane  Sex  Living  135 

ference  between  the  two  is  of  a  pronounced  nature, 
as  when  the  husband  or  the  wife  is  very  amorous  and 
virile,  while  his  or  her  mate  is  unable  to  engage  in 
the  act,  to  any  considerable  extent,  without  suflFering 
therefrom.  If  such  case  arises,  the  best  should  be 
made  of  the  situation,  the  more  robust  party  accom- 
modating himself  or  herself  to  the  incompetency  or 
inability  of  the  other,  and  the  weaker  one  doing  all 
that  can  rightly  be  done  to  strengthen  and  develop  his 
or  her  infirmity.  If  this  is  done,  the  chances  are  many 
to  one  that,  as  time  goes  on,  the  parties  will  grow 
more  and  more  alike — the  strong  becoming  more 
docile  and  the  weaker  one  more  robust.  Take  time, 
love  each  other,  court  and  be  courted,  and  only  the 
best  results  will  come  of  it  all. 

Now  there  are  some  women  who  are  called  "anes- 
thetic," that  is,  they  have  no  sex-passion,  though  the 
sex  parts  may  be  normal.  Many  physicians  declare 
that  as  high  as  forty  per  cent  of  the  women  who  are 
reared  in  modern  social  life  are  thus  lacking.  These 
women  engage  in  coitus,  though  they  get  no  pleasure 
from  the  act.  They  never  reach  the  orgasm,  and 
have  no  sensation  of  delight  from  the  act ;  they  sel- 
dom secrete  the  pre-coital  fluid,  and  hence  the  union 
of  the  organs,  or  their  motion,  are  never  easy  or 
pleasurable.  They  can  become  mothers,  and  often 
such  bear  many  children.  Such  condition  is  greatly 
to  be  regretted,  and  many  women  suffer  greatly  from 
this  cause. 

It  is  highly  probable,  though,  that  many  women 
who  are  counted  as  thus  lacking  are  not,  really,  so! 


136  Sane  Sex  Life 

Many  women  will  begin  married  life  wholly  anes- 
thetic, and,  often,  sometime  will  become  normal  in 
this  regard.  This  often  Jiappens.  The  probability 
is  that  many  wives  are  not  properly  "coiirted"  by 
their  husbands — the  first  part  of  the  act  is  neg- 
lected, or  the  husband  merely  acts  on  his  rights — 
cohabits  like  a  goat,  all  in  an  instant,  anxious  only 
to  gratify  his  own  lust;  and  that,  under  such  treat- 
ment, the  wife  never  gets  a  fair  chance  to  really  know 
her  ozvn  powers.  Such  cases  are  sad  beyond  telling. 
For  the  most  part,  they  are  the  result  of  ignorance  on 
the  part  of  the  husband,  and  innocence  and  wrong 
teaching- — zi^rong   mental  attitude   on   the   part   of   the 

wife.      HENCE  THE  NEED  OF  INSTRUCTIONS  TO  BOTH. 

But  if  almost  any  woman  will  get  the  right  mental 
attitude  toward  sex-meeting,  and  then  can  be  courted, 
as  has  been  prescribed  in  these  pages,  the  cases  are 
rare  indeed  where  a  womsin  can  be  found  who  is 
really  anesthetic.  If  you,  wife,  or  you,  husband,  are 
"up  against"  such  a  condition,  try  "courting,"  as 
herewith  laid  down,  in  a  proper  mood  and  spirit,  and 
you  zvill  come  out  all  right.     There  is  no  doubt  of  it. 

On  the  contrary,  if  the  man  is  "impotent"  there 
is  small  hope  of  his  ever  coming  out  of  such  condi- 
tion, and  the  chances  are  many  to  one  that  he  will 
never  be  able  to  satisfy  his  wife  sexually.  He  may 
be  a  "good  man,"  in  a  way,  but  he  can  never  be  a 
good  husband,  in  the  full  meaning  of  that  word. 

On  the  other  hand,  if  a  woman  marries  for  money, 
or  a  iiome,  or  jwisition,  or  place,  or  power,  or  a  "meal- 
ticket" — for  anything  but  love,  she  will  doubtless  be 


Sane  Sex  Living  137 

anesthetic  and  stay  so.  She  deserves  to !  She  sells 
herself  for  a  mess  of  pottage,  whoever  she  is.  She 
may  be  a  "good  woman,"  but  she  can  never  be  a 
good  wife. 

The  question  is  sometimes  asked  as  to  how  late  in 
life  the  sex  organs  can  function  pleasurably  and 
wholesomely  for  the  parties  concerned.  And  here,  as 
elsewhere,  the  reply  can  only  be  that  it  all  depends 
on  the  individual.  But  this  is  true,  that,  as  a  rule, 
the  status  of  the  individual  during  the  years  of 
active  life  will  persist,  even  to  old  age,  if  the  sex- 
functions  are  used  and  not  abused.  There  is  no  func- 
tion of  the  body,  however,  which  will  "go  to  pieces" 
quicker,  and  ever  after  be  a  wreck,  as  will  the  sex 
organs,  if  they  are  not  treated  rightly. 

And  this  works  both  ways:  If  too  rigorously  held 
in  check,  if  denied  all  functioning  whatever,  the  parts 
will  atrophy,  to  the  detriment  of  the  whole  nature, 
physical,  mental  and  spiritual.  The  body  will  be- 
come "dried  up,"  the  sex  organs  shriveled,  and  a 
corresponding  shrinking  of  the  whole  man  or  woman, 
in  all  parts  of  the  being,  is  very  apt  to  follow. 

On  the  other  hand,  an  excess  of  sex-functioning 
will  soon  deprive  the  individual  of  all  such  power 
whatsoever.  A  man  will,  in  his  comparatively  early 
life,  lose  the  power  of  erection,  or  tumescence  entirely 
as  a  result  of  excess,  either  by  masturbation  or  from 
too  frequent  coitus;  and  on  the  part  of  the  woman, 
many  unfortunate  conditions  are  liable  to  arise.  How- 
ever, for  reasons  that  have  already  been  stated,  a 
woman  who  is  strongly  sexed,  and  of  a  pronounced 


138  Sane  Sex  Life 

amorous  nature,  can  maintain  even  great  excess  of 
sex  exercise  without  suffering  such  ill  results  as  would 
befall  a  man  who  should  so  indulge.  That  is,  an  ex- 
cessively passionate  wife  can  far  sooner  wear  the  life 
out  of  a  husband  who  is  only  moderately  amorous, 
than  can  an  abnormally  passionate  husband  wear  out 
a  moderately  amorous  wife. 

But  if  the  sex  nature  of  the  husband  and  wife  are 
well  cared  for  during  the  years  of  active  life,  neither 
too  much  restrained  or  too  profusely  exercised,  the 
functioning  power  of  the  sex  organs  will  remain, 
even  to  old  age,  with  all  their  pleasure-giving  powers 
and  sensations  intact.  This  is  a  wonderful  physio- 
logical fact,  which  leads  to  a  conclusion,  as  follows : — 

This  fact  of  the  staying  qualities  of  the  power  of 
sex  functioning,  even  to  old  age,  is  the  supreme  proof 
of  the  fact  that  sex,  in  the  human  family,  serves  a 
purpose  other  than  reproduction! 

For,  see !  A  woman  loses  the  power  to  conceive 
when  she  reaches  the  "turn  of  life,"  when  her  menses 
cease,  that  is,  when  she  is  between  forty  and  fifty 
years  of  age.  And  if  pleasure  in  coition  serves  only 
to  induce  her  to  engage  in  the  act  for  the  purpose  of 
increasing  the  probability  of  her  becoming  pregnant, 
if  this  is  the  sole  purpose  of  desire  for  sex  inter- 
course, such  desire,  such  pleasure,  ought  to  cease  at 
that  period  of  feminine  life.  But  this  is  by  no  means 
the  case!  If  a  wife  is  a  nonnal  woman,  sexually,  and 
has  neither  abused  her  sex  nature  or  had  it  abused, 
or  neglected,  and  is  a  well  woman,  she  will  enjoy 
coitus  as  much  after  she  has  passed  her  three  score 


Sane  Sex  Living  139 

and  ten  date  in  her  life  as  she  did  before.  She  may 
not  care  to  engage  in  the  act  as  frequently  as  in  her 
younger  days ;  but  if  she  is  well  courted  by  her  old 
lover,  all  the  joys  of  the  former  days  are  still  hers, 
to  as  great  a  degree  as  ever.  And  what  is  true  of  her 
is  true  of  her  husband,  if  he  is  well  preserved,  as  she 
is,  has  never  abused  himself  or  been  abused. 

This  is  a  reward  of  virtue,  for  old  lovers,  that  pays 
a  big  premium  on  righteous  sex-action  in  earlier 
years !  More  than  all,  it  is  a  proof,  beyond  all  ques- 
tion, that  the  purpose  of  sex  in  humanity  is  something 
m.ore  than  procreation,  that  there  is  such  a  thing  as 
the  Art  of  Love,  and  that  it  ought  to  be  taught  and 
well  learned  by  every  husband  and  wife,  in  their  early 
married  life. 


X 


CLEANLINESS 


IT  would  hardly  seem  necessary  to  be  said,  and  yet 
many  experiences  of  husbands  and  wives  prove 
that  it  needs  to  be  said,  that  both  parties  should  take 
great  pains  to  keep  their  bodies,  all  parts  of  them, 
always  sweet  and  clean.  Strange  as  it  may  seem, 
many  wives  are  exceedingly  careless  in  this  respect! 
It  is  a  matter  of  common  report  among  men,  that 
harlots  take  more  pains  to  make  and  keep  their 
bodies,  and  especially  their  genitals,  clean  and  at- 
tractive, than  many  wives  do !  Surely,  this  ought  not 
to  be  so,  and  yet  it  often  is. 

And  that  it  is,  is  only  one  more  unfortunate  result 
that  springs  from  the  feeling  of  "Oh,  we  are  married 
now."  The  wife  or  the  husband  feels  that  there  is  no 
longer  any  need  of  wooing  each  other.  All  of  which 
leads  to  woe,  woe,  woe!  The  wife  should  keep  her 
whole  body  so  sweet  and  clean  that  her  husband 
can  kiss  her  from  top  to  toe,  if  he  wants  to — and  the 
chances  are  that  he  will  want  to,  if  she  so  keeps  her- 
self I  In  the  one  case,  such  a  caress  is  a  bit  of  heaven 
to  a  husband,  in  the  other  it  is  a  bit  of  hell!     It  will 

140 


Sane  Sex  Living  141 

disgust  where  it  ought  to  delight.  And  when  a  wife 
disgusts  her  husband,  the  end  of  a  happy  married 
hfe  has  come ! 

The  wife  should  always  wash  her  vulva  with  soap 
and  warm  water  before  retiring,  and  if  reservatus  is 
to  be  engaged  in  in  the  morning,  after  urination,  she 
should  thoroughly  cleanse  the  parts  before  union 
takes  place.  Let  her  be  ever  mindful  to  keep  her 
"love  cup"  worthy  to  meet  its  lover. 

And  the  husband  should  be  equally  careful  to 
keep  his  body  sweet  and  clean.  He  should  wash  the 
glans  penis  thoroughly,  with  soap  and  water,  at  least 
once  every  day,  drawing  the  foreskin  back  so  as  to 
fully  cleanse  the  indenture  above  the  gland,  which 
secretes  a  substance  that  very  soon  emits  an  offensive 
odor  unless  removed.  Both  parties  should  keep  their 
arm  pits  so  that  they  will  not  be  "smelly,"  and  the 
feet  should  likewise  be  kept  inodorous. 

One  of  the  chief  objections  to  smoking  or  chew- 
ing tobacco  is  that  it  spoils  the  breath,  and  so  makes 
it  offensive  to  the  wife,  whereas  it  should  be  most 
attractive.  In  a  word,  both  the  husband  and  wife 
cannot  be  too  careful,  in  all  ways,  in  making  and 
keeping  their  bodies  mutually  attractive.  As  has 
already  been  said,  the  sole  aim  of  all  the  sexual  .expe- 
rience of  a  husband  and  wife  should  be  to  raise  the 
function    more    and   more   away    from    the   plane   of 


142  Sane  Sex  Life 

physical  gratification  and  elevate  it  continually 
towards  the  realm  of  mental  and  spiritual  delight. 
This  is  a  mission  of  sex  in  the  human  family  that 
should  be  made  the  most  of.  It  involves  the  cultiva- 
tion of  the  Art  of  Love,  which  is  truly  the  art  of  arts, 
par  excellence. 

The  secret  of  success  in  establishing  righteous  and 
happy  sex  relations  between  husband  and  wife  is,  on 
the  part  of  the  man,  that  all  his  actions  should  be 
those  of  a  loving  gentleman.  This  does  not  mean 
effeminacy  on  his  part — he  must  be  virile,  bold, 
strong,  aggressive,  positive,  compelling.  And  yet,  all 
these  manly  virtues  must  be  expressed  in  terms  of 
loving  and  gentle  acts.  This  is  a  paradox,  but  it  is 
true! 

On  the  part  of  the  woman,  the  chief  item  on  her 
side  is,  for  her  to  attain  a  correct  mental  and  spiritual 
attitude  tozvard  her  own  sex-nature  and  that  of  her 
husband,  and  toward  their  common  expression.  All 
her  training  and  environment  now  hinder  her  from 
such  achievement;  but  if  she  be  a  true  woman,  her 
nature  will  reveal  the  truth  to  her,  and  if  she  will 
trust  to  that — do  what  that  prompts  her  to  do,  she 
will  come  out  all  right.  It  will  take  time  to  reach 
such  results;  but  if  she  will  persist,  she  will  succeed. 
Let  her  come  to  the  realization  of  the  fact  that  sex 
in  men  and  women  is  not  unclean,  vulgar,  lowdown, 
sinful ;  but  that  it  is  clean,  pure,  lofty,  godborn  ! 
Rightly  exercised,  it  leads  to  the  highest  well-being 
of  both  the  husband  and  wife;  it  brings  them  to  their 
physical,  mental  and  spiritual  noblest  and  best.     Let 


Sane  Sex  Living  143 

the  wife  get  this  view  of  the  situation,  which  is  the 
only  true  view,  and  then  let  her  act  accordingly,  and 
she  will  have  attained.  A  husband  and  wife  who  have 
reached  this  modus  vivendi  have  established  a  heaven 
on  earth. 


XI 


PREGNANCY 


AND  now  just  a  few  words  about  having  children, 
and  this  treatise  will  end. 

As  has  already  been  said,  every  true  husband  and 
wife  who  are  well  enough  and  strong  enough,  and 
who  are  reasonably  furnished  with  this  world's  goods, 
ought  to  have  and  rear  at  least  two  children.  The 
world  needs  at  least  so  many,  even  if  all  children  lived 
and  grew  up,  to  keep  up  the  constant  number  of  peo- 
ple on  the  earth.  But,  far  more  than  this,  the  hus- 
band and  wife  need  children  to  make  a  home  com- 
plete, and  a  complete  home  is  the  supreme  attainment 
of  human  life! 

This  does  not  mean  that  people  should  not  marry 
unless  they  can  have  children ;  there  are  many  women 
who  should  never  even  try  to  become  mothers.  But 
these  should  not  be  deprived  of  all  sexual  joys  for 
this  reason.  On  the  contrary,  it  is  for  their  best  good, 
in  most  cases,  that  they  should  marry  and  so  live 
normal  sex  lives,  in  all  respects  except  parenthood. 

But,  for  the  most  part,  husbands  and  wives  can 
have  children,  if  they  so  desire,  and  they  should  so 
desire. 

And,  so  desiring,   the   question   is,   how  can  they 

144 


Sane  Sex  Living  145 

best  fulfill  such  desire? 

As  a  matter  of  fact,  there  is  very  little  that  is 
really  known  about  the  begetting  of  children,  and  the 
securing  of  the  best  results  from  such  action.  The 
laws  of  human  heredity  are,  as  yet,  for  the  most  part, 
unknown.  But  common  sense  would  seem  to  indi- 
cate a  few  things  that  must  be  best  in  the  premises. 

Thus,  it  would  seem  to  be  for  the  best  that  the 
husband  and  wife  should  be  in  good  physical  condi- 
tion when  a  child  is  begotten.  More  than  this,  it 
would  seem  right  that  the  act  of  begetting  should  be 
a  deliberate,  and  not  a  mere  chance  begetting.  Hence, 
in  general,  it  is  well  for  the  husband  and  wife  to 
agree  upon  a  time  for  the  begetting  of  a  child,  and 
deliberately  accomplish  a  sex-meeting  for  such  pur- 
pose. Although,  one  instinctively  feels  that  such  a 
deliberate  meeting  might  be  too  matter  of  fact — too 
cold  and  formal,  lacking  in  warm  blood  and  genuine 
emotion;  still,  the  probabilities  are  that  even  this 
could  be  overcome,  if  kept  in  mind  and  "provided 
for." 

Referring  to  the  things  that  have  already  been 
said,  of  course  an  embrace  which  is  to  result  in  preg- 
nancy should  be  one  of  the  most  perfect  that  can 
possibly  be  experienced,  one  in  which,  in  an  ecstasy 
of  love's  delight,  husband  and  wife  merge  their  souls 
and  bodies  into  a  perfect  oneness — it  would  seem  that 
from  such  a  meeting  the  best,  and  only  the  best  results 
could  come. 

And  so,  if  the  husband  and  wife  will  agree  that, 


146  Sane  Sex  Life 

from  a  given  time  on,  they  will  cease  to  have  a  care 
to  prevent  conception ;  and  then,  sometime  immedi- 
ately following  the  fifth  day  after  the  beginning  of 
the  menstrual  flozv,  they  will  naturally  meet  in  a  per- 
fect embrace,  the  probabilities  are  that  they  will  have 
done  the  best  possible  to  secure  the  highest  attain- 
able results  from  the  act  of  begetting  a  child. 

As  a  rule,  the  proper  time  for  such  begetting  is 
between  the  fifth  and  the  tenth  day  after  the  begin- 
ning of  the  menstrual  flow.  It  is  sometimes  best,  how- 
ever, to  make  the  meeting  earlier  than  this,  even  be- 
fore the  flow  has  ceased.  Some  women  will  conceive 
then  who  cannot  do  so  at  any  other  time.  And  so,  if 
a  wife  should  be  unable  to  conceive  between  the  f]fth 
and  the  tenth  day,  as  noted,  let  an  earlier  date  be 
tried.     If  this  should  fail,  consult  a  reliable  physician. 

It  ought  to  be  said,  too,  that  putting  off  having 
children  too  long  is  very  apt  to  result  in  the  steril- 
ity of  the  wife.  Many  a  young  wife,  who  has  really 
wanted  to  have  children  sometime,  and  who  would  be 
greatly  grieved  if  she  thought  she  could  not  bear  a 
child,  has  kept  putting  it  off,  and  has  done  this  so 
often,  and  for  so  long,  that,  when  the  "convenient 
day"  does  come,  she  finds  that  she  has  "sinned  away 
her  day  of  grace." 

Speaking  generally,  the  first  baby  should  be  born 
not  much  later  than  two  years  after  marriage.  There 
are,  of  course,  exceptions  to  this,  but  it  is  a  good  rule 
to  go  by. 

Have  your  children  ichen  you  are  young!     This 


Sane  Sex  Living  147 

is  common  sense,  it  comes  out  best  in  the  long  run, 
and  is  the  best  thing  to  do,  ninety-nine  times  in  a 
hundred.  Then,  you  are  nearer  the  age  of  your  chil- 
dren as  they  grow  up  than  if  you  waited  till  you  were 
in  the  late  thirties  before  the  children  came.  If  your 
son  or  daughter  is  only  twenty-some  years  younger 
than  you  are,  you  can  be  "kids"  with  them.  If  you 
are  forty  years  old  when  they  are  born,  you  will 
always  be  "old  folks"  to  them.  Have  the  babies 
when  you  are  young.    It  is  far  better  so. 

If  no  children  come  from  the  meeting  of  husband 
and  wife  consult  a  good  doctor.  But,  in  such  event, 
if  neither  of  the  parties  is  to  blame — or  even  other- 
wise, make  the  best  of  the  situation,  love  each  other, 
and  make  the  most  of  wedded  Hfe  with  what  is  left. 

Above  all,  with  children  or  without  (and  a  thou- 
sand times  better  with)  make  a  home  that  is  a  home. 
That  is  what  sex  in  the  human  family,  what  married 
life  is  for — to  make  a  home.  Nearly  all  that  makes  a 
home  is  centered  around  sex.  No  two  normal  men 
can  make  a  home.  No  two  normal  women  can  make 
a  home !  It  takes  a  man  and  a  woman  to  make  a  home. 
It  takes  father,  mother  and  children  to  make  the  most 
perfect  home.  Make  up  your  minds  to  have  a  most 
perfect  home,  and  do  your  utmost  to  reach  that  goal! 

The  query  often  arises  in  the  minds  of  conscien- 
tious husbands  and  wives  whether  or  not  it  is  right 
to  engage  in  coitus  during  pregnancy.  On  this  point 
authorities  differ,  though  most  of  them  hold  against 
such  practice.     The  reasons  they  give   for   such   ad- 


148  Sane  Sex  Life 

verse  decision  are  all  based  on  the  same  old  infernal 
lie,  namely,  that,  sexually,  man  is  a  mere  animal,  and 
so  is  subject  to  the  laws  and  practices  of  mere  ani- 
mality.  This  is  the  worst  outrage  ever  perfected  by 
a  false  philosophy,  which  is  heralded  as  the  will  of 
God.    Out  on  it,  altogether  ! 

The  simple  truth  is  that  if  the  husband  and  wife 
have  mastered  the  Art  of  Love,  so  that  they  mutually 
desire  each  other,  and  both  long  for  sex  exercise,  dur- 
ing the  gestation  period,  it  is  perfectly  right  and 
WISE  for  them  to  satisfy  their  natural  common  wishes. 

Of  course,  in  such  exercise,  the  utmost  care  should 
be  taken  not  to  press  too  hard  upon  the  pelvic  region 
of  the  woman,  and  in  this  regard,  the  word  of  caution 
needs  to  be  heeded,  as  much  by  the  prospective 
mother  as  by  her  mate.  For,  in  the  intensity  of  an 
orgasm,  she  may  be  tempted  to  crowd  her  body  too 
violently  against  her  husband,  and  so  i)ossible  harm 
might  result.  Especially  if  the  husband-superior 
position  is  taken  during  the  act.  he  should  be  doubly 
careful  not  to  permit  the  weight  of  his  body  to  rest 
upon  the  enlarged  part  of  the  wife's  anatomy,  not  in 
the  least. 

Indeed,  the  safest  position  for  coitus,  during  preg- 
nancy is,  the  woman  on  her  back,  and  the  man  with 
his  hips  on  the  bed  below  hers,  so  that  there  is  no 
possibility  of  pressure  on  her  abdomen,  which  is  per- 
fectly free,  in  this  position.  In  this  position,  the  act 
may  be  engaged  in.  during  i)regnancy,  as  often  as 
mutually  desired,  to  the  benefit  of  both  parties. 


Sane  Sex  Liznng  149 

Many  pregnant  women  are  more  than  usually 
passionate  during  the  period  of  gestation.  This  is 
especially  the  case  when  the  wife  is  happy  in  her  con- 
dition, when  she  rejoices  with  exceeding  great  joy  that 
she  is  on  the  way  to  experience  the  divine  crown  of 
wifehood — maternity!  When  such  a  woman  desires 
her  husband  in  love's  embrace,  it  is  cruel  to  deprive 
her  of  her  longed-for  delight. 

Again,  a  wife,  unpregnant,  and  when  she  right- 
fully wishes  to  remain  so,  may  be  somewhat  fearful 
of  becoming  pregnant  when  she  meets  her  husband, 
and  so  hesitate  to  give  her  passion  full  play,  thereby 
missing  the  utmost  delights  of  an  embrace — but  if 
she  be  pregnant,  and  so  has  no  fear  on  this  score,  she 
can  give  herself  up  to  utter  abandonment  to  her  im- 
pulses. 

On  this  point,  the  final  word  is,  use  common  sense, 
in  a  spirit  of  absolute  mutuality. 

It  goes  without  saying  that  it  would  be  wicked, 
not  to  say  a  crime,  for  a  husband  to  compel  his  wife 
to  engage  in  coitus  during  pregnancy,  against  her 
will.  On  the  other  hand,  many  a  wife  has  first  ex- 
perienced an  orgasm  when  meeting  her  husband  dur- 
ing pregnancy.  The  reason  for  this  is  that  her  fear 
of  becoming  pregnant  is  not  then  present — a  condi- 
tion which  has  before  kept  her  from  the  climax. 

It  is  further  true  that  many  a  wife  will  greatly 
relieve  and  delight  her  husband  if,  on  occasion,  and 
as  both  may  desire,  she  will  relieve  him  with  her 
hand ;  or  sometimes,  that  they  engage  in  mutual  relief 
by  this  means  during  pregnancy. 


XI I 


CONCLUSION 


IN  closing  this  volume,  the  author  wishes  to  say, 
as  in  opening,  that  no  apology  is  offered  for  what 
has  been  written  or  said  herewith.  All  has  been  set 
down  in  love,  by  a  lover,  for  the  sake  of  lovers  yet  to 
be,  in  the  hope  of  helping  them  on  towards  a  divine 
consummation. 

As  a  final  direction  Master  the  Art  of  Love,  which 
is  the  divinest  art  in  all  the  world;  then  study,  and 
do  your  best  to  master  the  Science  of  Procreation. 
It  is  these  two,  the  Art  of  Love  and  the  Science  of 
Procreation,  that,  together,  make  married  life  a  suc- 
cess. Without  these,  or  surely,  without  the  first, 
there  can  be  no  such  thing  as  true  marriage.  Hence, 
this  is  the  first  to  learn,  to  master.  It  is  worthy  of 
the  most  careful  study,  the  most  faithful  experiment. 

It  is  right  for  people  who  never  can  have  children 
to  marry,  and  to  share  with  each  other  mutual  sex 
delights.  It  is  far  better  for  a  husband  and  wife,  hav- 
ing learned  the  Art  of  Love,  to  have  children — and 
a  home. 

Thrice  happy  are  the  married  lovers  who  live  in 
the  spirit  of  this  sentiment,  exalted  to  the  highest 
spiritual  plane;  and  if,  out  of  such  love  exchanges 
children  are  begotten  and  born,  and  a  perfect  home 

150 


Sane  Sex  Living  151 

is  established,  then  married  life  is  worth  livinj:;^.  God 

has   joined   such   together   and   nothing  can    put  them 
asunder. 


This  volume  is  not  something  to  be  read  once,  and 
then  put  aside  and  forgotten.  It  should  be  studied, 
experimented  upon,  read  again  and  again,  especially 
by  those  who  have  difficulties  in  married  life  to  over- 
come. And  for  all  young  married  people,  it  should 
be  a  sort  of  Guide  to  Happiness  that  should  be  fre- 
quently consulted  and  its  directions  "tried  out"  and 
followed  to  the  limit. 

The  fact  is  that,  in  true  marriage,  neither  the 
husband  nor  the  wife  can  be  selfishly  supreme.  If 
selfishness  asserts  itself,  on  the  part  of  either  husband 
or  wife,  hell  is  sure  to  follow.  There  can  be  no  true 
marriage  under  such  circumstances,  because  there  is 
no  supremacy  in  true  love,  and  it  is  only  true  love 
that  can  make  an  abiding  true  marriage.  In  true 
marriage,  such  as  both  God  and  Nature  design  should 
be,  there  is  perfect  comradery.  equals  walking  with 
equals,  with  the  principle  of  love  and  mutual  help- 
fulness shared  alike  by  both.  Let  no  reader  of  this 
book  forget  these  primal  facts,  or  fail  to  act  in  accord- 
ance with  them !  For  of  such  is  the  Kingdom  of 
Heaven ! 


5 


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